Album of the Day


  • Axl Rosenberg


If memory serves, the Spawn movie which came out in 1997 was pretty terrible, but we did get one great thing out of it: the soundtrack. It was pretty much like the Judgment Night soundtrack, only instead of combining metal bands with rap acts, it teamed up metal bands with electronica acts. And every song on it was innovative and amazing.

No, I’m totally kidding. The soundtrack sucked almost as bad as the movie.

I say “almost” because some of the album is, well… fine. Check out the track list, and which songs will be less-irritating are easily predictable, but in case you’re curious — “Tiny Rubberband,” by Butthole Surfers and Moby,  “One Many Army,” by Prodigy & Tom Morello (a track that’s also on The Matrix soundtrack), and “(Can’t You) Trip Like I Do,” by Filter & The Crystal Method, were all actually decent.

And there’s a song by Marilyn Manson & Sneaker Pimps, “Long Hard Road Out of Hell,” that basically sounds like Antichrist Superstar-era Manson with female backing vocals. (The song’s title also served as that of Manson’s autobiography.)

But for the most part, what we got was really, truly misguided drek like “Satan,” a collaboration between Orbital and Kirk Hammett:

So, yeah, that’s annoying. But at least its hilariously annoying — I mean, once upon a time, someone thought having some dude shout “SAY-TAN! SAY-TAN! SAY-TAN!” over and over again was a fantastic idea, and that just makes me remember how ridiculous the entirety of the 1990s were.

But this DJ Spooky remix of Metallica’s “For Whom the Bell Tolls” is not hilariously annoying. It’s just annoying annoying. I mean, I guess it gets kinda funny if you close your eyes and imagine Lars Ulrich listening to it and patting himself on the back for being in a band that has its finger on the pulse of what kids today want, but mostly it just makes me wanna make sure that none of you are confused and think DJ Spooky is the same person as DJ Shadow. ‘Cause I’ve seen people make that mistake before, and it’s totally bogus.

But don’t worry, Metallica weren’t the only classic thrash band to induce facepalms: Slayer, meet Atari Teenage Riot, Atari Teenage Riot, Slayer. If you ever thought that Dave Lombardo’s drums were the worst thing about Slayer, you may actually enjoy this:

Also, Korn and The Dust Brothers did a song together, “Kick the P.A.,” which is so bad, it makes me wanna destroy my copy of Fight Club:

And it just occurred to me that that last song be responsible for the entirety of Cam Argon’s career.

So, yeah. I have no idea how this CD got into my brain today, but now I’m gonna hafta try and go wash it out with alcohol.



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