Hipsters Out Of Metal!


  • Anso DF

Spurred by a lazy crossword clue in The Onion (36 down, four letters: “Faith No More’s only hit”), MetalSucks contributor Anso DF dedicates every single day in August to celebration and exploration of the San Francisco alt-metal greats. Here we prove that history’s greatest band landed more than one commercial hit (crossword answer: “Epic” natch), we revel in FNM’s embarrassing wealth of winning album tracks (themselves often fit for chart topping), and we dip into the staggering best of the b-sides (ditto). Along the way, we survey the context of FNM’s big break (amid similarly seminal acts Jane’s Addiction, Nine Inch Nails, and Ween) to the post-Nevermind, panic-based music commerce in which the brilliantly versatile, fearless powerhouse band operated until their 1998 demise. It’s a dirty job, but someone’s gotta do it.


Song “The Perfect Crime”

Written by Patton (L); Gould, Bottum, Bordin, Martin, Patton (M).

Released 1991

Appears on Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey soundtrack

Produced by Matt Wallace

Guitars by Jim Martin

Key lyric “Look in the mirror/It seems you’re shrinking, miniature/And soon enough you’re gone.”

Single? No.

The climate Two years after The Real Thing and a year after its last single came out, I was way ready for some fresh Faith No More action. And then bam there was “The Perfect Crime,” even though the jam wasn’t fresh to the fans who spotted its appearance on a Kerrang promo as “Sweet Emotion” in 1989. I didn’t. Anyway, with a new set of lyrics and melodies, and a new recording, “Sweet Emotion” became “The Perfect Crime” and popped up on the Bill & Ted’s II sdtk among a great Megadeth song, a ghastly Kiss song, and Steve Vai’s “The Reaper Rap.” Having arrived amid dim company and at a moment of FNM scarcity, “Crime” may’ve seemed awesomer than its actual awesomeness; also, the absence of another FNM song after it might’ve accounted for my tendency to rewind and repeat “Crime” a bunch. But the context, the timing, and the lack of competition were beside the point cuz the reason I never listen to it only once is that the shit is awesome beyond all reasonable measure. That might sound like hyperbole, but hey look I pick up this same subject in the next section.

Awesome song elevated to supra-awesomeness by everything! By now we’ve all noticed that the title of this series is not MetalSucks.net presents Anso DF’s Favorite FNM Jamz nor MetalSucks’ Fuck Chuck Mosley Month. The FNM jamz sought out for discussion, it was decided, had to be representative of FNM’s far-reaching mega-genius. As such, I undertook a pain-staking evaluation process using a sophisticated scoring system across nearly a dozen categories. To my editors (pictured here), I titled this Ansometrics, though even I hate Ansometrics cuz it sucked up two of my weekends and discludes a few of my most cherished FNM jamz (e.g. “Ashes To Ashes” booo). Anyway, no surprise that the second-highest scorer on the laser-accurate Ansometrics scale was “A Small Victory.” The highest? “The Perfect Crime”!!! It has the most of what makes Faith No More what they are: THE BEST!!!

Didja know? There exists awesome camcorder footage of part of the mixing session for “Crime” (at probably Scream Studios?). Shot by bassist Billy Gould’s teen brother, the video stars producer Matt Wallace, Gould the elder, Mike Bordin, and Jim Martin, some of whom date the footage with their ’90s way of acknowledging the camera. I love Martin’s introduction to an engineer (“Nick”), but the cutest part is during playback when a line of backing vox is isolated and you can hear Mike Patton and Roddy Bottum chanting in adorable unison: “Ree-venge! Nobody forr-gets!” Awwww.

Settle something for me In that section after the second chorus, are we sure that Patton’s lyric is “Station” as it’s reported everywhere? To some it sounds like “Stay tuned.” Internet me if you know thanks :) :) @AnsoDF




22 “The Perfect Crime”

21 “A Small Victory” (read)

20 “King For A Day” (read)

19 “The World Is Yours” (read)

18 “Absolute Zero” (read)

17 “Collision” (read)

Intermission “Das Schutzenfest” (read)

16 “The Last To Know” (read)

15 “The Real Thing” (read)

14 “Malpractice” (read)

13 ”Ugly In The Morning” (read)

12 “The Cowboy Song” (read)

11 “Helpless” (read)

10 “Smaller And Smaller” (read)

9 “Digging The Grave” (read)

“From Out Of Nowhere” (read)

“Last Cup Of Sorrow” (read)

6 “The Gentle Art Of Making Enemies” (read)

“Caffeine” (read)

“Falling To Pieces” (read)

“Stripsearch” (read)

2 ”Ricochet” (read)

1 ”Land Of Sunshine” (read)

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