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  • Axl Rosenberg

Oh, Into Eternity, what did I ever do to you besides make the mistake of falling in love with you? Why do you punish me so? First, you finally released a new single, “Sandstorm,” last July, and now you’ve posted a clip of another new song, “Fukushima,” on the web — and yet you still offer no concrete information about when we might expect a new album. Sure, you’ve told us that “five songs have been recorded,” but five songs in three-and-a-quarter years is, like, an Axl Rose work pace. At this rate, your next full-length may finally be ready for release in 2015, by which time some site called Metal: Over It! will be the biggest blog on the scene, Vince will be the new host of Headbanger’s Ball on MTV 8 (“The Ocho”), and I will be dead.

And the saddest part is, this material sounds really promising. Really, my only complaint about it is that at no point does Stu Block get to hit any notes that only dogs can hear.

Enough with this foreplay. Give us a new album or else… or else… or else we’ll cry and call you a poopy face!!! AND THEN YOU’LL BE SORRY!!!!!!


Thanks to Carlos B. for the tip!

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