GENE SIMMONS ENDORSES MITT ROMNEY, NEGATIVE JEWISH STEREOTYPES
KI$$ bassist and vocalist/cheap Die Hard rip-off movie villain (seriously, LOOK AT THAT EVIL MOTHERFUCKER) Gene Simmons has endorsed Mitt Romney for President. As part of his ongoing crusade to prove anti-semites everywhere correct, Simmons told Fox & Friends that his reason for being pro-Mitt has nothing to do with morality and everything to do with money, asserting that “America is a business” and “should be run by a businessman.” Well, that’s one totally skewered and simple-minded way of looking at things!
I kid, I kid. Honestly, I think we should all totally just stop thinking for ourselves and do whatever Gene tells us to do. I mean, never mind that this guy wrote the best song about fucking underage girls ever. He also successfully predicted the demise of rap music in 2007 and won a debate about the state of the music industry by making fun of his opponent’s name! (In case you didn’t know, Simmons changed his own name from Chaim Witz so he could be famous and talk about politics on television.) So not only is he smart, but he’s practically a prophet. In fact, fuck Romney — I think we should just elect Gene instead. I’ll launch a Kickstarter page to raise funds for his campaign, can one of you start a Facebook page or something? That should just about take care of it, I think.