Black Metal Brunch

BLACK METAL BRUNCH: DREX ON THE BEACH

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NO, I DO NOT WANT #ICECREAM. NO, I WILL NOT HAVE A BEER AND #CHILLOUT. NO, I WILL NOT #WADE INTO THAT #POOPROT LIQUID FESTER, #RISKRATCHETED BY ITS #RIPCURRENT. AND NO, I WILL NOT EVER GET THIS SAND OUT OF MY #PILLAGEBOOTS, OR FORGET THAT THIS WAS YOUR CATASTROPHIC NOTION OF WHAT TO DO “BECAUSE HEY! IT’S SATURDAY!” AND BECAUSE “THERE’S ONLY SO MUCH SUMMER LEFT FOR FUN!” AS IF THE SUN IS NOW SETTING NOSTALGICALLY AND SACRIFICING IT’S LAST RAYS TO ILLUMINATE THE SAD SMALL THINGS YOU DO TO GIVE YOUR LIFE MEANING. I AM PARTICIPATING IN YOUR LEISURE RITUAL, ROOMIE #SPENCER. I AM #HANGINGOUT WITH YOUR LARD LADEN COTERIE OF DILETTANTES AND JEZEBELS. YET LO AND BEHOLD IT IN YOUR #INFERIOR HANDS, I AM STILL ANIMATED BY #PURO HATRED. AND RIGHT NOW, IN DREXOPHILIOUS FRANCES VASEKTOMY’S GEOGRAPHY BEE OF #SUICIDIALNIHILISM, THE BEACH IS THE ANSWER TO QUESTION OF WHAT IT IS I #HATE MOST. SUMMER IS THE MOST #INFERIOR SEASON, AND THE BEACH IS THE MOST #INFERIOR PLACE TO SPEND IT. #DEATHBEFOREPADDLEBALL.

THERE IS NO PLACE TO HIDE HERE. ALL MUST WITNESS THE FAT YOLK SUN SAUNTER DRUNK THROUGH THE DITZY BLUE, SIZZLING DOWN HIS ELECTROMAGNETRONIC CANCER WAVES IN THE PROCESS. LUCKILY MY #CORPSEPAINT IS #SPFYOUCANTHURTME #YOUSTUPIDGORGEOUSPERFECTLYSPHERICALBALLOFDEATHGAS. OTHERWISE IT WOULD BE #SURFSUP FOR #CARCINOGENOUSMELANOMA.  #SKINCARE.

AS THE TIDES DREDGE UP FRESH SEDIMDENT IN THE SEA’S EFFERVESCING FECUNDITY, SO THE DISPLAYS OF #BEACHFLESH DREDGE UP SHAME FOR #DREX. THE #INFERIORS, SWEATING OUT OF PORES BIG ENOUGH TO FIT A BIBLE’S WORTH OF PIOUSLY DISGORGED MENDACITY, EXHIBIT THEIR NUBILE PIECES LIKE THIS BEACH IS A THIRD WORLD MEAT MARKET. AND LO, THERE SITS A TIRED BREAST LUMPED NEXT TO A SKINLESS GOAT HEAD; A SELECTION OF THIGH FLESHULES ON ROUGH, PURPLE STAINED TARPING. ALL PIECES ARE SAGGING AND FAT TRESTLED. TO #CHERRYTOP THIS EYEBALL #SUNDAE, ALL THESE SWEAT BEADED LIMBS BENEFIT FROM THE PROFESSIONAL ACCOMPANIMENT OF A TUXEDOED ORCHESTRA OF FLIES AND FLIES AND FLIES. IN THIS BASE SAND DAPPLED FEAST OF THE CARNALECT, MY AROUSAL IS PIQUED AND SPOILS QUICKER THAN ALL THIS SULTRY SUNNED MEAT IN THIS THE BUTCHER’S PARADISO. AND THAT AGGRAVATES MY SHAME WHICH SHRINKS MY #BATTLESWORD AND LO THE CYCLE OF WOE TRUDGES ON IN THIS FROWNING TRIATHALON TOWARDS THE FINISH LINE OF #IRONMANHOOD. #JUSTBEYONDREACH.

AND WHY THE FUCK ARE ALL THESE SUBNORMALS WEARING #RAYBANS? PUT THOSE IDIOT FRAMES ON A CORPSE OR A #DREAMWICCAN AND BEHOLD: THE ONLY EXPRESSION CAPABLE OF BEING PRODUCED IS OF ONE WHO PASSED GAS IN PUBLIC AND BELIEVE’S THEMSELVES TO HAVE EMERGED FREE FROM THE #EMOTIONALSTINK OF SUSPICION. I REJECT ALL OF YOU, #MALEDICTUS UPON THIS ENTIRE GENERATION OF SECRETLY SATISFIED FARTETEERS!

“HAHAHA” LAUGH LAUGH LAUGHS FLESH DIVULGING #INFERIOR LADY FRIEND OF ROOMIE #SPENCER. SHE IS LAYING FACEDOWN, SKIN PLUMPING OUT OF BLACK STRINGY THINGS AS I TRY AND READ THROUGH MESOPOTAMIAN CREATION MYTHS FOR MY NEXT #SELFPUBLISHED TOME ON NATURAL PHILOSOPHY AND MYTHOLOGICAL ESOTERICA. I KNOW I WILL PAY ATTENTION AND IN NO WAY BE DISTRACTED BY THIS WOMAN’S SKIN. THERE. RIGHT CLOSE ENOUGH TO POKE WITH A 7 STRING. “YOU ARE SO FUNNY AND DARK, DREW. I FORGET, DID YOU AND #SPENCEY GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER IN THEE-AY-TUR SCHOOL? I LIKE YOUR COMMITMENT TO THIS LIKE, CHARACTER OF YOURS. I STUDIED IN LA WITH A #METHODMASTER. REALLY INSPIRING.” SHE UNDOES STRING AND THERE IS ENTIRE LADY BACK. I READ WITH ALL OF HATRED’S FURY: #MARDUK SLEW TIAMAT. RIPPED HER SKIN AND SPREAD IT TO CREATE THE SKY. #BRUTAL. THINK #GORGOROTH #GREENTREES #CHURCHFIRES. “I JUST LOVE IT HERE, IT’S SO PEACEFUL. AND I GET SO SWEATY, AND THEN IM TOO HOT. BUT THEN I GO IN THE WATER AND I COME OUT AND I’M TOO COLD. THESE EXTREMES, THEY REALLY, I DONKNOW… EXCITE ME.” #TREMOLOPICKING, #THEFIRSTNILEALBUM, #GORGOROTH, #GORGOROTH.  #GORGOROTH ”CAN YOU SQUIRT ME?” SHE SAYS. TREMBLING HANDS GRAB FOR #SPFINFINITY TUBE OF CORPSE PAINT, MY WARRIOR VOICE FEELS CONFINED LIKE AN ALTAR BOY IN A PRIEST’S DUNGEON PEN. “SURE. YES. THIS NORMAL THING TO DO. HA. I- I-I- WILL PUT ON THIS TO YOUR LUBE BACK. PUT BACK ON LUBE. SAFETY FIRST. SKIN. SO MUCH SKIN. HA. MONDERN KINSHIP GROUPS AFFIRMATE THIS IS ACT OF, OF NORMALCY. NO WEIRD SENSATION OR RECOGNITION OF VEERING THIS #GOODSHIPDREX TOWARDS #PSYCHOSEXUAL PRECIPICE.” I SAW SIDE OF SMILE AND BACK OF HEAD. AIMED TUBE. “JUST DO IT ALREADY.” LURCHING FORWARD IN SLOWEST MOTIONS OF MY MIND’S PERCEPTION I SQUEEZE TUBE WITH ALL THE STRENGTH OF #MARDUK.

#GLOOP. #GLOOOOOOOOOP. #GLOOOOP.

I HAVE SPRAYED #COSTCOSIZEDMAYONNAISEJAR OF SUNSCREEN ONTO THE BACK OF HER HEAD. BACK OF MY ROOMMATE’S LADYFRIEND’S HEAD. AND THORAX. AND BUTTOCKS. AND THIGHS. ALSO POTENTIALLY MADE GUTTURRAL ORGASM-Y SOUND. SUN BLINDING ME. SHAME SENSATIONS FORMULATNG BUT DO NOT TAKE ROOT IN REALITY.  ONLY THEN I HEAR THE #ANGRY SHOUTING OF #ANGRY SHIVERING #ANGRY TOPLESS  #ANGRY FLESH THING WITH DRIPPING WHITE GUNKED HAIR CALL OUT TO A MAN IN THE OCEAN IN TONES MOST WRETCHED “SPENCERRRRRRR! YOUR MOTHER. FUCKING. #CLOWNASSBITCH ROOMMATE IS A PERVERRRT. GET OVER HERE. NOW. GET OUT OF HERE. NOW. NOWWWW!” MY THROAT IS #FROGSTRUCK. “SPENCERRRRRRRRRRRRR!!! HE’S LIKE A #NORWEGIAN #LENNY FROM #OFMICEANDMEN. GET THIS HALLOWEEN NEANDERTHAL THE FUCK. A-WAY. FROM ME.” STARTLE JOSTLED, ALL I CAN DO IS  INSTINCTUALLY GRAB HER CEREMONIAL #RAYBANS, AND PUT THEM ON. REAL COOL,REAL SLOW. PICK UP BOOK. WALK AWAY. NOW, I AM JUST ANOTHER NORMAL BEACH GOING JACKASS, ENJOYING FUN, SUN, AND MY OWN EMANATIONS ON PUBLIC SANDS. NOTHING TO SEE HERE.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=I5VTvQ5Zpw4

-DV

Follow Drex on Twitter or, if you’re single, hit him up on OK Cupid! You can also e-mail him at drexsez AT gmail DOT com. 

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