Jesus Took For Today’s Van Away
Jesus hates the gays so much that He decided to reward For Today, the band that absolutely refuses to say “homosexuality isn’t a sin,” by having someone come along and steal the group’s van and trailer full of equipment. Normally I’m against theft, but I’m not sure that taking this band’s instruments away shouldn’t be considered a public service.
Here’s For Today’s statement on the matter, via their Facebook page:
“Some nerd stole our van and trailer (and a couple hundred-thousand dollars of equipment) from our hotel parking lot last night. So now we’re rolling to Houston in rental cars. They can steal our stuff, but they can’t touch our joy! Jesus Reigns! (Unshakeable). Get pumped.”
When reached for comment, Jesus Christ told MetalSucks, face planted firmly in palm, that he “couldn’t believe how uncool these dudes are… it just makes me wanna die.”