Metal Mysteries

Kittie Give You “What You Always Wanted”

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perfect bologna sandwich

Kittie are gonna make a big announcement this coming Saturday, March 29, and they’re teasing said announcement via the above video, which is entitled “What You Always Wanted.” Which is obviously kinda vague; I mean, there a bunch of things I’ve always wanted! Still, by listing some of these items, I think we can begin to at least narrow down the possibilities of things Kittie may announce. Here are just a few of those things:

  1. The ability to make any woman want to sleep with me simply by asking them “Excuse me, do you happen to have any Grey Poupon?”
  2. An unlimited supply of free, grade-A marijuana.
  3. Free socialized health care in the United States.
  4. Booze that will get you totally wasted but is incapable of creating a hangover.
  5. To be able to choke people with my mind, Darth Vader-style.
  6. Thirteen more Stanley Kubrick films.
  7. To get drunk with/pick the brain of Ernest Hemingway.
  8. A teleportation machine allowing me to go anywhere in the world in the blink of an eye.
  9. A hover board.
  10. To be the human hands at The Puppy Bowl.
  11. To conduct a lie detector test on Axl Rose.
  12. John Bush back in Anthrax.
  13. Scientific evidence that Phil Fasciana is allergic to chocolate milk.
  14. The perfect bologna sandwich.
  15. A world free of Kittie.

So… what do you think Kittie got me? I can’t wait to find out this Saturday!!!

[via Metal Underground]

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