Metal Tech

David Draiman Wants to be Your Wingman

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Draiman Wingman

Having now forever changed the face of both music and real estate, David Draiman is now setting his sights on technology: the Disturbed/Device vocalist is the co-founder and CEO of a new social networking app, Wingman. So what is it? According to the app’s website:

“We are proud to have the opportunity to share with you a vision. A vision based on creating a positive, and incredibly valuable tool; utilizing technology to bring people together, encouraging more meaningful, and valuable, true human connections and interactions.

“In today’s digital world, the answers are right in front of you, if you only had the right tool to help you find them…it doesn’t matter who you are, what you do, or where you come from. At one time or another in all of our lives, we all need a Wingman.”

Uh… okay. But what does it, like, do? Explains Draiman himself:

“We are surrounded by so much data, so much technology that we throw on our social media pages. It is a social network of sorts, that also blends location based services. It’s a means of finding whomever you’re looking for whatever purpose you’re searching for them for.”

Okay, so, first, let’s all just take a moment to admire the sentence “It’s a means of finding whomever you’re looking for whatever purpose you’re searching for them for.”

Second of all, let’s all take another moment to admire this super-smooth segue…

“We are surrounded by so much data, so much technology that we throw on our social media pages. It is a social network of sorts, that also blends location based services.”

…which (accidentally, I assume) implies that there’s a problem (“so much data and technology that we throw on our social media pages”) and that Wingman is a part of that problem (“a social network”… onto which we can throw more data and technology?).

Christ. It’s like Draiman was using John Holgado as his Cyrano. Maybe Draiman oughta use Wingman to find a second-grade education.

Third of all, maybe I’m slow, but I still don’t understand what the hell Wingman actually does. “The answers are right in front of you, if you only had the right tool to help you find them” So… Google? “A social network of sorts that also blends location based services”? Uh… Facebook and Yelp for people who are too lazy to switch back and forth between Facebook and Yelp? Or is it a “there is someone to fuck X feet away”-type deal like Tinder? Hopstop with a dash of Twitter?

I don’t understand, and this interview Draiman gave to Fox Business Network clarifies nothing:

Draiman spends the whole time discussing the importance of marketing without demonstrating any awareness of one of the single most important aspects of marketing: letting people know what the fuck it is you’re selling. Talking to him in the early days of his music career must have been so maddening.

REGULAR PERSON: So, David, what do you do?

DAVID DRAIMAN: I’m in Disturbed.

REGULAR PERSON: You’re in…? I’m sorry, I don’t understand what that means.

DAVID DRAIMAN: Disturbed uses sound to irritate the moderately intelligent.

REGULAR PERSON: Um… so… you’re in defense development or…?

DAVID DRAIMAN: We are surrounded by so much noise. It is music of sorts but it also has monkey noises.

REGULAR PERSON: [after long pause] I’m sorry, but… dude, what are you on right now? Can I have some?

Draiman did, however, take a moment to criticize tech start-ups that make sure their product actually works, so that oughta build confidence in Wingman.

[via The PRP]

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