Misery Index and Lord Dying To Crack Nuts on Tour

Misery Index have crushed so many nuts that people often assume the band consists of wooden soldiers. And their track record for ending generations-old bloodlines via the aural destruction of balls is not likely to be diminished anytime soon: the band’s most recent release, The Killing Gods, was one of the best metal albums of 2014... and now they’ve announced a bunch of tour dates with Lord Dying, each of which I assume will be the testicular equivalent of a Dothraki wedding: without at least three deaths, the show will be considered a dull affair.

Strap on your athletic cup and get dates below. This is specifically being called “part one” of the tour, which suggests there will be a part two, which suggests that these are not the only dates. So try not to get your panties in a bunch if you don’t see your town on the itinerary.

04/28/15 Harrisonburg, VA The Golden Pony
04/29/15 Frederick, MD Café 611
05/01/15 Brooklyn, NY St. Vitus
05/02/15 Worcester, MA Palladium
05/03/15 Clifton Park, NY Trick Shot Billiards
05/04/15 Montreal, QC Foufounes Electriques
05/05/15 Ottawa, ON Maverick’s
05/06/15 Toronto, ON Hard Luck Bar
05/07/15 Rochester, NY Montage Music Hall
05/09/15 Lakewood, OH The Foundry
05/10/15 Chicago, IL Live Wire Lounge