What the...??

Jesus Would Not Approve of Your Amazon Purchases

  • Axl Rosenberg

jesus hates venom and high on fireWhenever we send out a prize directly from The MetalSucks Mansion, we always include some stickers, too, because, c’mon, every metal fan loves stickers. And usually, these are just your run-of-the-mill MetalSucks stickers with our logo on ’em… but I’m going to suggest to Vince that we make a change, because this is SUCH a better idea.

According to Metal Injection, a Reddit user who goes by the handle SR388 ordered some Venom and High on Fire CDs over Amazon, and when said CDs arrived, discovered that it included a hot tip:venom_jesusNeedless to say, the URL will take you to a religious website, the design of which is reminiscent of Metal Sludge circa 2000. I tried to poke around for a couple of minutes but I laughed and then I puked and then I laughed some more and then I just clicked off.

Although SR388 didn’t specify as to whether or not he made this purchase directly from Amazon or from a third party through Amazon, I’m guessing it’s the latter, just because I’ve never known Amazon to include religious messages handwritten by a four-year-old with their orders. Assuming that’s the case, well, it makes this story all the weirder, ’cause it means someone felt strongly enough about this topic to go to all of the trouble of sticking a pencil between their toes and scribbling the note for a complete stranger, but not strongly enough about this topic to decline the profit earned by hocking Satan’s wares. It’s an interesting paradox, no?

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