Rounds 25-28: Ozzy Osbourne vs. Gene Simmons, Carla Harvey vs. Heidi Shepard, Courtney Love vs. Marilyn Manson, Frank Palmeri vs. Johnny Plague
The results of yesterday’s bouts are in, and there were some close calls: Blake Judd edged out Hunter Hunt-Hendrix by a mere forty votes, and Dino Cazares trumped Mike Portnoy with only about three times that. Hendrix and Portnoy are spared the shame of moving to the next round! Less lucky: Danny Worsnop, who trounced his Asking Alexandria successor Denis Stoff, and Fred Durst, who absolutely DOMINATED Jonathan Davis, beating him by roughly FIFTEEN-HUNDRED votes. Ouch. Poor Freddy.
Below are the next four match-ups! The polls for these rounds close at 2:30 pm EST, Wednesday, August 26.
OZZY OSBOURNE VS. GENE SIMMONS
All our heroes have failed us, and one could argue that no heroes have failed us more than these two nitwits. Between the two of them, they’re probably responsible for more people getting into heavy music than the limited-edition Metallica/Load blowjob package. So how did they go so very, very wrong? And, more importantly — which one went wronger??? Vote now!
CARLA HARVEY VS. HEIDI SHEPHARD
Which of the silicone-infused Butcher Boobies kills your boner harder — the blonde one or the brunette one? Personally, we don’t like the one with the big fake tits, but the question of which one will move on to the next round is entirely up to you.
COURTNEY LOVE VS. MARILYN MANSON
The twenty-first century has now been kind to these two 1990s megastars — which isn’t to say that they’ve lost all their entertainment value. But what dost thou find more offensive — ripping off Nine Inch Nails ripping off Ministry, or making Kurt Cobain wanna blow his own fucking head off? You decide!
FRANK PALMERI VS. JOHNNY PLAGUE
Listen, we don’t wanna tell you guys how to vote, but if you choose to save the simpleton conspiracy theorist over the Bane wannabe, you’re doing it wrong.
THE BRACKET SO FAR (click to enlarge):