Friday 5

Friday 5: Five Bands With Bad Starts, Great Recoveries #reboot

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Happy Friday, MetalSucks reader! Welcome to MetalSucks Friday 5, our awesome series that appears every Friday (duh) on MetalSucks (duhh) and involves the quantity of five (duhhh).

Here’s how it works: A list of best/worst/weirdest/whatever five somethings is posted by one of your beloved MetalSucks contributors or by one of our buds (like you?). Then you, our cherished reader, checks it out, has a chuckle, then chimes in with a list of the same. No sweat, just whatever springs to mind, k? (Just like that movie about those losers working at a Chicago record store!) After all, it’s Friday — the day dedicated by the gods to mindless, fun time-wasting. 

Today, let’s talk bands that we’ve let off the hook!

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THE FIVE

Over time, most bands get less heavy and more basic. Which went the other direction?

THE LISTER

Anso DF, MetalSucks senior editor

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1. Coal Chamber / DevilDriver

On Thursday, you probably read about an awesome brutal band that faces a battle in the court of IMN opinion thanks to their start as a really commercial act with a cute keyboard player. But we’ve forgiven much worse, as evidence by our acceptance of the the five artists on today’s Friday 5 — and many more. These acts started weak then grew heavy, and in most cases, awesome. (In one case, just even awesomer.) But there must be more. What other bands started commercial then got nutso?

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2. Ministry

For Dez Fafara of Coal Chamber, it would be a Bryan Cranston-style jump from low-dignity nu metal (Malcolm In The Middle) to punishing NWOAHM with DevilDriver (Breaking Bad), but definitely not a Cranston magnitude. Fafara’s before and after aren’t impactful enough to justify that comparison. But Ministry and Al Jourgensen sure fit. From mortifying dance pop to pure American disfunction. A eyeliner brush to the burnt underside of crack pipe.

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3. Skid Row

Skid Row’s aptitude for self-sabotage is not restricted to the post-Sebastian Bach era. Nope, they shot off a few of their own toes as early as second album Slave To The Grind. Following up a quintuple platinum debut, the Skids could’ve cranked out a blockbuster, a diamond seller with sexy cover art and oodles of Top 10 anthems, ballads, and naughty romps. Instead? Heavy, pissy shit.

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4. Testament

From 1987 to 1994, Testament followed the usual trajectory: Each album was less heavy and more polished than the last (with one exception). They were heading to post-Thrash heavy rock limbo, like Metallica and Anthrax (but way better), then came Low, a reversal of course. Their next album Demonic, amazingly, was too heavy for some Thrash fans. Think about that! What settled things for all times was its follow-up, The Gathering, an extreme metal classic. Then Testament is brutal for life. Way heavier than when they started.

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Pantera

Just imagine if you had encountered pre-Phil Pantera on some stage or stereo. You would’ve barfed in your mouth. Years later, you’d have to encounter the new Pantera and their new album Cowboys From Hell, and you’d be dogged by the memory of the throatburn. For everybody else, Pantera would have a clean slate, but not for you. What a drag!

Your turn! Have a great wknd!

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