Enlarge

Ozzy to Formally Apologize for Pissing on The Alamo

0

One of the great Ozzy Osbourne stories is the one where he was so wasted that he unknowingly took a leak on the Alamo, and was arrested for doing so. But while we’re sure Ozzy has apologized for doing so in the past, he’s never appeared at the Alamo to formally repent for his actions… until today.

MySanAntonio.com reports that Ozzy will appear at the historic site today to tape a segment for his upcoming History Channel show. And while officials are trying to keep the spectacle at a minimum, District 1 Councilman Robert Trevino has said that the metal god has been in contact with his office, and will make a formal appearance today.

While we appreciate Ozzy’s kindness in his old age, I have to admit that I’m slightly disappointed. My hope is that while Ozzy’s in Trevino’s office, head bowed and voice hushed, his son Jack, Zakk Wylde, and Alice Cooper are all outside furiously pissing on the walls of the Alamo, guffawing like psychopaths. Why repent for a legend when you can just create a new one?

Anyway, San Antonians, keep an eye out of Ozzy wandering around town today. If you run into him, maybe have him pee in a cup and discreetly splash it on the Alamo. Keep the dream alive!

Metal Sucks Greatest Hits