Black Sabbath’s VIP Package Continues Long Tradition of the English Screwing the Irish


England has always had a strained relationship with Ireland, it’s red-headed hard-drinking slightly-cooler brother. From Oliver Cromwell to Margaret Thatcher, the Brits have held the Irish in questionable regard that often seems good-natured but sometimes borders on bigotry.

Now, Black Sabbath have gotten in on the time-honored tradition with the VIP packages made available at their Dublin show next January. The band is charging Irish fans €1,358.65 — basically $1,523.25 — for a concert ticket, the chance to meet the band, a personal photo op, access to soundcheck, a drinks reception, a VIP “tour gift item” and a laminate.

Sound sweet to you? Wait — there are some arbitrary stipulations! Due to “time restrictions,” fans won’t be able to get the band members’ autographs, and they’re not allowed to take pictures or video with their own devices. Instead, a picture will be taken of you with a professional camera, and an access code will be e-mailed to you later. Because nothing personifies the raw power and excitement of heavy metal like a SmugMug.com access code, right?

As with any VIP package, if you’re willing to pay such a ludicrous amount for this experience, then you’re either a dumbass, a rabid diehard fan, or both. It just seems totally unnecessary and overpriced for, what, some free booze and a chance to shake Ozzy’s hand. But hey, it’s your cash.

So, if you have more money than sense, Black Sabbath hit Dubling 1/20/2017. Enjoy your $1,500 laminate.


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