Enlarge

Dj Ashba Makes Water Now

  • Axl Rosenberg
0

Former Guns N’ Roses/current Sixx A.M. guitarist Dj Ashba makes water now.

Why does Dj Ashba make water now?

I know what your first guess will be: “He must have heard that Slash is making water.”

But no. Ashba is not making water for a reason so dumb as that.

Ashba is water because there isn’t enough good tasting water on the market.

I’m not making that up:

“[T]o be honest, there’s very few really good good-tasting waters out there. So we did an extensive amount of research, found the best bottling company we could possibly find, and that was it. And we went to work. So it is awesome. And it’s really fucking killer quality — 21-gram plastic bottles, so it’s not the kind where you open it up and shit goes all over the place.”

So there ya go. Dj Ashba single-handedly solved the good-tasting water problem in the world. He did an extensive amount of research on what makes water taste good. Don’t ask about that research or what it entailed. He put a lot of work into the bottle. Look: he’s got the best bottles. Never spills anything.

The website for Ashba Enterprises — parent company of not just Ashba Water, but Ashba Media and Ashba Clothing, too — says that the the flavorful, spill-proof beverage “will be shipping to 26 Festival Food grocery stores in Wisconsin. And we’re just getting started.” So look out, Festival Foods in Minnesota!

Why does Dj Ashba make water now?

Because he’s a yutz.

[via Metal Injection]

Show Comments
Metal Sucks Greatest Hits