Enlarge

You “Will” Listen to the New Primitive Man Song

0

primitive-man-caustic

In April, Vince declared, “Primitive Man might just be the heaviest band going today.” Obviously whether or not you agree is largely based on your definition of the somewhat amorphous concept of ‘heavy.’ Are they as heavy as, say, Portal, whose music barely qualifies as music?

I don’t have a good answer. But by any standard, the band’s new song, “My Will,” certainly backs up Vince’s bold claim. This song will squeeze you so hard you’ll think you owe it money. The combined tonnage of attendees at a Weight Watchers meeting is still less than that of this song. Try to pick it up, and you risk a hernia. Sow it into your pants and walk into the ocean and you’ll never be heard from again. The State of New York legally requires proper bracing for the song, because should it ever fall from a window onto a pedestrian below, it would squash them like a cockroach. Weightlifting championships worldwide will someday use the ability to lift this song as their final contest. I hit this song with my car, and it, like, totally wrecked my car.

I’m saying yeah this is a heavy fucking song.

Check out “My Will” below! The track comes off of Primitive Man’s new album, Caustic, which comes out October 6 on Relapse. Pre-order it here.

Metal Sucks Greatest Hits