Ten of the Best Loogie Hocks in Modern Metal

  • Axl Rosenberg

Metal never shies away from the unpleasant side of life… in fact, it may be the only genre of music in which to call something “ugly” is actually a compliment. This being the case, it’s not shocking that metal vocalists have come to use one of the human body’s less-attractive qualities as a tool in their repertoires: the loogie!

Below, enjoy seven splendid examples of modern metal vocalists expertly hocking loogies to terrific effect. Hopefully it will make all of us appreciate the disgusting way in which our sinuses, throats, and mouths are all interconnected.

In alphabetical order…

Cattle Decapitation – “Lifestalker” – every chorus

On “Lifestalker,” Cattle Decap frontman Travis Ryan doesn’t just sound like he’s spittin’ mucus left and right — he’s actually doing it while saying a really real word in English — specifically, the word “look.” This decision seems extra brilliant given the song’s complete and total disgust with humanity (“Look! See how far we’ve come?/ Global insemination of our practice, fucking the masses”).

Children of Bodom – “Oops!… I Did It Again” – five seconds in

When channeling Britney Spears, ladylike behavior is of the utmost import. So Alexi Laiho gets his loogie hock out of the way early. Britney would be proud.

Gatecreeper – “Craving Flesh” – 1:52

“Craving Flesh” is the first track on the first Gatecreeper album, and it immediately announces vocalist Chase Mason as one of the premiere loogie-hockers in metal today. Dude sounds like he just went to the fridge, took a big gulp of milk, and then realized that milk was sour. It actually works quite well as transitional element, signaling the end of one section of the song and the beginning of another.

Ingested – “A Nightmare Incarnate” – 00:24

Whatever these dudes ingested, it clearly causes an abundance of mucus.

Lord Mantis – “Damocles Falls” – starting around 2:20

This song has a solid fifteen seconds where it sounds like they’re trying to cough up a hairball. It is somehow both more and less disgusting than watching a cat actually try and cough up a hairball.

Khemmis – “Bloodletting” – 4:29

As a reasonably melodic stoner/doom metal act, you might not expect Khemmis to have a loogie hock in one of their songs. But they can hock with the best of ’em!

Magrudergrind – “Assimilated Pollutants” – end

The last thing you hear in this 43-seconds-long ripper is frontman Avi Kulawy hockin’ a big fat wet one. The placement is perfect: concluding a track this brutal in such a way almost feels like adding injury to insult, as though someone just kicked your ass and left you for dead, but not before spitting on you to boot.

Make Them Suffer – “Widower” – 1:05

Maybe this band should change their them to Make Them Mucus?

The Modern Age Slavery – “Opiate of the Masses” – 2:27

Not enough of you are listening to the incredibly Italian death metal band The Modern Age Slavery. Hopefully, this track’s appearance on our loogie list will change that. RESPECT THE HOCK, Y’ALL.

WVRM – “Bag of Blades” – three seconds in

This is like the opposite of the Magrudergrind song — the hock comes right at the top of the song, as though to spit in your eye, thereby provoking you into a fight.

Did we miss any of your favorite loogie hocks in modern metal? Quick — go complain in the comments section!

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