Ted Nugent Tests Positive For COVID-19: “I Got the Chinese Sh*t”

  • Axl Rosenberg

Define “karma”:

On April 7, while complaining that he couldn’t tour in 2021 due to “Dirty bastard, lying, scam, smoke-and-mirrors COVID-19 freaks,” Ted Nugent wondered why COVIDs 1-18 didn’t cause mass global shutdowns, and asserted that the number of people who have died from the coronavirus has been vastly inflated.

On April 19, Ted Nugent tested positive COVID-19, which he says has made him sicker than he’s ever been in his life: “I thought I was dying.”

I don’t wish Ted Nugent physical ill will, and I sincerely hope he recovers… but… holy fucking shit, right? If I made this up, you’d tell me it was too on-the-nose.

Nugent broke the news during a Facebook Live stream shortly after he received his diagnosis:

“I’ve got an announcement to make. Everybody told me that I should not announce this.

“I have had flu symptoms for the last ten days. I thought I was dying. Just a clusterfuck.

“I was tested positive today. I got the Chinese shit. I’ve got a stuffed up head, body aches. My God, what a pain in the ass. I literally could hardly crawl out of bed the last few days… So I was officially tested positive for COVID-19 today.”

Nugent later elaborated during his Internet show, Spirit Campfire:

“I’ve been around a long time — 72.4 years, to be exact — and it’s been quite an adventure… But I have never been so sick in all my life… I could barely crawl out of bed. And I’m not looking for sympathy; I’m just trying to share a medical emergency during a global medical emergency, and what the Nugent tribe, what this guitar player is doing to counterpunch a COVID-19 positive test this afternoon. And it’s gonna be willpower.”

Eh, I don’t think it’s gonna be willpower so much as it’s gonna be a variety of circumstances which are both in and out Teddy’s control, like his current physical health, genetics, and good, professional medical care that will determine whether or not he beats it. But maybe it’s just gonna be willpower. I’m not a doctor.

In any event, it seems very, very, very, very, VERY much worth pointing out that Nugent doesn’t seem to have mentioned his comments from less than two weeks ago when revealing this information. Even his use of the phrase “global medical emergency” — even just admitting that he had a “medical emergency” — seems out of character.

I’m guessing Nugent will either eventually use his experience as “proof” that COVID-19 is NBD, or he’ll never actually verbally admit that he was wrong. If he does admit he was wrong, though, I’ll happily admit I was wrong about him not admitting he was wrong.

While we wait to see how this plays out, let’s take a moment to appreciate Nugent the non-racist calling COVID-19 “the Chinese shit.” This man is a poet, and he is positively up to his eyeballs in self-awareness.

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