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Mensa President Ted Nugent Wonders Why “COVID-1 Through -18 Didn’t Shut Anything Down”

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More than a year into the pandemic, renowned virologist Dr. Theodore A. Nugent has questioned the validity of claims that COVID-19 is especially dangerous, pointing out that the world has survived despite not enacting any strict safety measures to stop the spread of the disease’s eighteen predecessors.

Dr. Nugent’s startling query came as part of a Facebook Live stream on Wednesday, April 7, during which the physician announced that his next tour has been canceled as a result of the ongoing pandemic:

“This year’s tour is canceled again. The production companies won’t let us tour again this year. Dirty bastard, lying, scam, smoke-and-mirrors COVID-19 freaks.

“I would ask you — because I’m addicted to truth, logic and common sense, and my common sense meter would demand the answer to — why weren’t we shut down for COVID-1 through -18?” Nugent asked, while wearing a robe that looks like it could be from the Joe Exotic collection. “There was a COVID-1, and there was a COVID-2, -3, -4, -5, -6, -7, -8, -9, -10, -11, -12, -13, -14, -15, -16, -17, -18. COVID-1 through -18 didn’t shut anything down, but whoa, COVID-19, even though it’s 99.8 percent survivable. Why didn’t we shut down for the AIDS epidemic or the flu or the Spanish Flu or the bird flu or the West Nile flu or influenza every year?”

Dr. Nugent went on to assert that the COVID-19 death toll has been exaggerated:

“They claim five hundred thousand people have died from COVID-19. Bullshit. I believe that medical examiners in all 50 states have gone, ‘I put down on the death certificate that he died of asphyxiation, but they made me put COVID.’ ‘Well, this guy was stabbed to death, but they made me put down COVID.’ ‘This guy was run over by a tandem gravel truck doing a four-wheel drift and the crows be pecking at your flesh, but they made me put down COVID-19.’”

Dr. Nugent’s inquiry is destined to shake the medical world to it’s very core. One fellow immunologist, speaking to MetalSucks on the condition of anonymity, said he and his fellow medical professionals should feel “embarrassed” that they never reached the same conclusion as Dr. Nugent: “Why didn’t any of us think of that?”

Dr. Nugent is now expected to be a frontrunner for the 2021 Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine. The winner of that award will be announced on Monday, October 4.

In completely unrelated news, COVID-19 was initially identified in 2019, which is just an interesting coincidence I thought I’d share.

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