Exclusive: Alestorm’s Christopher Bowes Answers 3 Insane Questions for MetalSucks


So far, our 3 Insane Questions series, in which we ask metal musicians the most absurd nonsense questions we can think of, has been a mixed bag of weirdos and hooligans. We’ve had ultra-grim black metal tea distributors, death metal’s brightest up-and-comers, and, of course, flamingo-obsessed troll-worshippers. But part of the process is giving artists a crop of interesting questions to answer and letting them pick which questions they want to answer. And thus far no one has really taken on the challenge of answering our most ridiculous queries…until now.

And it had to be Alestorm, didn’t it? Few bands on this earth take being completely fucking ridiculous as seriously as the ultimate pirate metal crew. And on today’s episode of 3 Insane Questions, Alestorm frontman Christopher Bowes takes on some of our most outlandish questions to date, and does so with incredible gusto.

Here are the three questions that Christopher chose to answer for us:

  1. If you had to eat a Glade plug-in, what drink would you pair it with?
  2. If you had to change your name to that of a member of System of a Down, which one would you choose?
  3. Please sing a line from an Alestorm song in the style of Celine Dion.

Now, for all six of you who have been following this series, you’ll note that we don’t normally reveal the third question in these editorial posts. But we needed to let you know this time, because holy shit, Christopher went for it. He really did it. We’re dumbfounded.

Watch Alestorm’s 3 Insane Questions below, or check out some of the other entries into the series. Alestorm’s Seventh Rum of a Seventh Rum drops June 24th via Napalm Records, and is available for preorder.

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