If True, This Tool Fan is Probably Already Dead or Single


There’s being passionate about your favorite bands and then there’s being unrealistic. At least that’s what I got out of a recent post on the Tool subreddit where one person in Colorado allegedly gambled with his life by suggesting his wedding date be changed to accommodate an upcoming concert.

According to their post, it sounds like the date had already been selected when they learned that Tool would be in town. Rather than accept the fact that their nuptials just might be more important than a metal show. It’s not like this is their final tour, after all.

Anyways, here’s the ill-fated post:

“So me and my wife are getting married (unfortunately) on the third of October which is the day tool will be in our town of Loveland, CO. So I told my wife I don’t want to be married on the third because tool was in town. That lead to the worst fight of our lives and she went to go live with her parents and it seems that all her relatives are on her side what should I do.”

Just wow. I’m pretty sure this qualifies for the Darwin Awards, since their partner very likely has justifiable reasons for homicide after this level of stupidity. Gotta make sure the gene pool isn’t affected, after all. Also, the “unfortunately” part of that post really stands out. If I were their partner, I’d be sharpening the biggest knife in the house/apartment.

And imagine being shocked that their partner’s relatives are all on their side! I mean, even on a normal dispute they’ll probably side with their loved one. You being an absolute dumbass just makes that decision easier!

But this is all under the assumption that this scenario is even real. It is Reddit after all.

If you want to catch Tool live this fall and aren’t getting married any time soon, be sure to check out the full list of dates below:

September 22 – Louisville, KY – Louder Than Life Festival
October 3 – Loveland, CO – Budweiser Events Center
October 6 – Sacramento, CA – Aftershock Festival
October 8 – Indio, CA – Power Trip
October 11 – Salt Lake City, UT – Delta Center
October 12 – Idaho Falls, ID – Mountain America Center
October 14 – Nampa, ID – Ford Idaho Center
October 15 – Spokane, WA – Spokane Arena
October 17 – Eugene, OR – Matthew Knight Center
October 19 – Portland, OR – Moda Center
October 20 – Tacoma, WA – Tacoma Dome
October 22 – Kelowna, BC – Prospera Place Arena
October 23 – Vancouver, BC – Rogers Arena
October 25 – Edmonton, AB – Rogers Place
October 27 – Calgary, AB – Scotiabank Saddledome
October 29 – Winnipeg, MB – Canada Life Center
October 31 – St. Paul, MN – Xcel Energy Center
November 1 – Milwaukee, WI – Fiserv Forum
November 3 – Knoxville, TN – Thompson-Boling Arena
November 4 – Charleston, WV – Charleston Coliseum
November 6 – Rochester, NY – Blue Cross Arena
November 7 – Allentown, PA – PPL Center
November 10 – Uncasville, CT – Mohegan Sun Arena
November 13 – Manchester, NH – SNHU Arena
November 15 – Boston, MA – TD Garden
November 16 – Philadelphia, PA – Wells Fargo Center
November 19 – Montreal, QC – Bell Center
November 20 – Toronto, ON – Scotiabank Arena
November 21 – Toronto, ON – Scotiabank Arena

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