Profanatica Fan Pays $50 for Paul Ledney’s Spunk, Humanity Continues Downward Spiral
Cum. Jizz. Semen. Baby batter. Nut. Seed. Load. Ball juice. Doesn’t matter what you call it, apparently some of it was sold on a Profanatica merch table at a recent show. Whether or not you believe it was actual seminal fluid and that it came from the band’s vocalist/drummer Paul Ledney, is up to whomever bought the vial for $50.
You read that right — $50 to have the privilege of allegedly carrying Ledney’s cum bottle in your pocket during the black metal band’s actual show. The item truly manages to match the New York-based band’s provocateur streak, but damn man… some people have more money than sense.
Apparently the band had been making cum-based jokes on their recent posts promoting their tour with Knoll and Unidad Trauma. That all culminated in the eventual sale of Ledney’s DNA.
Given the fact that a healthy man produces around 70-150 million sperm per day and can express that semen a couple times a day, this could be a new monetary avenue for the band. One shudders to think what a crazed fan would do with a fluid they might believe to be their favorite musician’s knuckle children, but apparently the sale was made, so you almost can’t help but applaud the band’s entrepreneurial spirit.
What’s funny is the fact that it looks like the band revised the cum jar’s price, though I can’t tell if the cost went up or down in value over time. All we know is the final $50 price tag, since it was eventually photographed with a “sold out” sign.
So there ya have it. It’s unclear if another vial will be sold, but the band’s got a number of tour dates still on the books. If you’re up for an evening of black metal madness and a chance at procuring some man milk, that might be your best chance.
Profanatica tour dates
07/11 Las Vegas, NV – The Usual Place
07/12 Mesa, AZ – Nile Underground
07/14 Denver, CO – Hi-Dive
07/15 Lincoln, NE – Reverb Lounge (no Unidad Trauma)
07/17 Denton, TX – Rubber Gloves
07/18 Austin, TX – Empire Garage
07/19 Houston, TX – Black Magic
07/20 New Orleans, LA – Santos
07/21 Pensacola, FL – Handlebar
07/22 Cape Coral, FL – Nice Guys
07/24 Orlando, FL – Conduit
07/25 Atlanta, GA – 529
07/26 Knoxville, TN – Karns Community Center
07/27 Charlotte, NC – Underground
07/29 Baltimore, MD – Metro Gallery
07/30 Philadelphia, PA – Underground Arts
07/31 Brooklyn, NY – TV Eye
08/01 Providence, RI – Alchemy
08/03 Portland, ME – Genos (no Unidad Trauma)
