Amy Poehler and Kristen Wiig Dream of a “Quieter” Metallica

In a world where everything sucks even when your eyes are closed, this scenario is like a beautiful and hilarious dream where we’re able to laugh without crying over our impending doom (great band, by the way). On funny gal Amy Poehler’s podcast Good Hang, she was joined by fellow Saturday Night Live alum Kristen Wiig where they talked about many a silly thing, but also something that could be a dream for us elder metalheads.

Wiig apparently has a vocal knack that surpasses every bit she’s done on SNL with Fred Armisen and whoever else, and Poehler made sure to remind her of that. Poehler brought it up at one part during the episode, asking if Wiig would ever try to pursue music professionally.

“I would love to do an album, a record, but I don’t even know how to get started.” As is typical in video podcasts, Wiig turned to the camera to ask viewers “Can you weigh in on the comments on this? … How do you get into the music business?”

Poehler chimed in, saying “You can join someone’s band… Whose band should you join? Metallica?” Through teehees and giggles, Wiig added, “Metallica… just take them in a new direction,” with Poehler continuing, “Just quieter… just a little bit quieter.”

A potential conversation between basically anyone in Metallica and Kristen Wiig would a treat on its own, and she imagined it would go something like, “Just calling them up, and being like, ‘Guys, I know you have your thing … but you’ve been doing it a long time…,’” with Poehler adding that “‘your fans would love to sit down [at shows].’”

While I am not yet the age of either of these women, I am at the age where I’d love to just set up a lawn chair or something at the edge of the pit so I can still participate from a seated position. We gotta make this happen, people—a Kristen Wiig-front Metallica, that promises to be seated and lullaby-esque. Talk about some “enter sandman.”