Utterly unremarkable.

But don’t get too excited because a) there are only seven dates and b) it’s not 1992.

Do you believe him?

MetalSucks’ weekly round-up of heavy new albums titled “Sky Burial”

Also: Intronaut, Anthrax, The Ocean, Killswitch Engage and more.

An ejaculation of exclusive info on the upcoming Steel Panther record! For the splooge!!

Behold 2013’s awesomest week of heavy new releases! Two are titled “Sky Burial”? One’s a Minor Threat tribute parody? Another is 100% solo piano?

It’s refreshing to hear a new Hypocrisy album that’s both extremely familiar and entirely new.

Axl subs in for Vince this week and adds SIX new bands to the charts.

Past and present members of Slayer, Anthrax, Megadeth, Machine Head, Judas Priest, Guns N’ Roses, Rage Against the Machine and more react to the loss of a titan.

Get a lesson in the history of thrash from a man who lived it, and listen to a whopping THIRTY-SIX of his hand-picked favorite thrash tunes!!!

Now you get can get wasted with The Waste!

Free is good, free is great, who do we appreciate?

This makes me metal thrashing mad.

I say it was Professor Puciato in the study with the candlestick!

And bucked like a horse!

Some mostly not-very-good clips for some very, very good songs.

Take advantage of Amazon’s awesome sale before it ends on January 31st. Albums from Gojira, The Ocean, Goatwhore, Kvelertak, The Ocean, Cattle Decapitation, Anthrax and more for only $5.

Tell me what this silly band logo says, win the latest and greatest from the French gods of grind!