...And F*ck You Too 1570 “WHERE CELTIC FROST FAILED, I WILL SUCCEED.” February 10th, 2012 at 12:00pm Axl Rosenberg A reader sent us a link to this classified ad, […]
Editorials 580 EVEN HATE ETERNAL COULDN’T SAVE ME FROM JURY DUTY January 26th, 2012 at 10:00am Axl Rosenberg Earlier this month I recounted a humorous tale of my […]
Cinemetal 190 CINEMETAL ROUND-UP: NEW VIDEOS FROM ANTHRAX, ICED EARTH, EVANESCENCE, MAYLENE AND THE SONS OF DISASTER, AND DR. ACULA January 25th, 2012 at 10:00am Axl Rosenberg I’m going to put about as much effort into this […]
Everyone's Replaceable 700 TEN POSSIBLE CANDIDATES TO BE THE NEW SINGER FOR KILLSWITCH ENGAGE January 9th, 2012 at 4:00pm MetalSucks With Howard Jones now available for a White Lion reunion, […]
Freeloader 50 FREELOADER: THE UNITED SONS OF TOIL’S WHEN THE REVOLUTION COMES, EVERYTHING WILL BE BEAUTIFUL January 5th, 2012 at 1:30pm Satan Rosenbloom Welcome to the latest edition of “Freeloader,” in which we […]
Green Eggs and Slam 1200 2012 STATE OF THE SCENE ADDRESS: It’s cool to be tr00 January 4th, 2012 at 5:00pm Sergeant D 012 STATE OF THE SCENE ADDRESS: It’s cool to be […]
Br00tal-lists 360 THE BEST METAL ALBUMS OF 2011, AS CHOSEN BY METAL MUSICIANS THEMSELVES — PART IX December 2nd, 2011 at 2:30pm MetalSucks FEATURING MEMBERS OF GWAR, DARKEST HOUR, REVOCATION, INTRONAUT, ABYSMAL DAWN, BRUTAL […]
Editorials 250 INVISIBLE ORANGES OR SOUR GRAPES? November 28th, 2011 at 12:30pm Gary Suarez I’ve made no secret of my general distaste for black […]
Tweet Twat 480 FRANKIE PALMERI IS A TOTAL FLAMING LABONTE November 8th, 2011 at 2:30pm Vince Neilstein You thought last week’s fracas involving Phil Labonte calling Black […]
Necessary Roughness 150 NECESSARY ROUGHNESS, WEEK 7: CAM TEBOW FOR PRESIDENT October 25th, 2011 at 10:00am MetalSucks It was a weekend of big changes at the quarterback […]
The Webernets 360 OH, C’MON, THAT’S NOT TRUE September 2nd, 2011 at 1:30pm Axl Rosenberg Nickelback isn’t racist! -AR [via The Chive]
Green Eggs and Slam 1580 ARE LATINOS BORN 2 MOSH??? [VIA METAL PESADO] August 29th, 2011 at 5:00pm Sergeant D ¿¡Q-VO, CULEROS?! Te gustan EL MOSH?! Pienso que sí! Escuchame […]
Hipsters Out Of Metal! 170 31 DAYS OF FAITH NO MORE: “MALPRACTICE” August 14th, 2011 at 10:00am Anso DF Spurred by a lazy crossword clue in The Onion (36 down, four […]
What the...?? 620 HOWARD JONES HAS SOLO ALBUMS? August 11th, 2011 at 11:30am MetalSucks What the fuck? Look at this press release Axl just […]
Green Eggs and Slam 1390 WHAT IS THE BEST NEO-NU-METAL BAND?? August 8th, 2011 at 5:00pm Sergeant D I’m proud to call myself a working-class American. There might […]
Green Eggs and Slam 800 LET’S TALK ABOUT CRAZY TOWN #early00s #numetal August 2nd, 2011 at 3:30pm Sergeant D When you think about it, the late 90s are maybe […]
Scraping Genius Off The Wheel 1 METALHEADS: CUT THE SH*T AND STOP SUPPORTING BURZUM July 26th, 2011 at 4:30pm Gary Suarez Nobody should have been surprised. Varg Vikernes’ odious, conspiratorial, anti-Semitic […]
Metal in the Media 1710 STEVEN COLBERT 1, TED NUGENT 0 June 28th, 2011 at 5:00pm Axl Rosenberg I hate, hate, hate Ted Nugent. I never liked his […]
Hipsters Out Of Metal! 300 SWAN SONG: JUDAS PRIEST ON AMERICAN IDOL TONIGHT May 25th, 2011 at 4:00pm Anso DF You may agree with MetalSucks stud Axl Rosenberg (pictured here), […]
Completely Unreadable Band Logo of the Week 0 COMPLETELY UNREADABLE BAND LOGO OF THE WEEK: WIN FIVE CDs FROM THE METALSUCKS MANSION ARCHIVES!!! May 24th, 2011 at 4:30pm Axl Rosenberg Mazel tov to reader Chris Schott, who correctly identified last week’s […]
