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What the fuck??

WANNA GO TO THE METAL SHOW BUT CAN’T FIND A SITTER?

 Wednesday, June 3rd, 2009 at 12:00pm by

Our brothers from other mothers at Metal Injection, via a website called GrowUpPunk, have found this other website, Coolbuzz, which sells various childcare products – e.g. cribs, carriages, etc. – that is clearly directed at headbanging parents… who hate their fucking baby. I mean, look at what passes for a crib, rocking horse, and stroller:

stainless-steel-cradle_zqbgu_6648

stainless-steel-rocking-horse_ee3gg_6648

stainless-steel-walker-and-stroller_hbqhh_6648

In other news, my grandmother is happy she was proven right when she told me that “People who listen to that devil music have no business raising children.”

-AR

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  • oblivion

    now wheres the shit designed by hr giger? tho his may be it…..

  • bucketochicken

    I hope Brendan Small is collecting a percentage of sales on these…

    • Brandon

      I still want a Dethphone

      • bucketochicken

        And Murderknobs.

  • Brock

    To put a child in any of these devices is just irresponsible.

    • jamie

      don’t be ridiculous.

  • SourDeez

    Those look like the brain-sucking drill balls from Phantasm.

    • 36thoughtless

      Dude! Exactly! That’s awesome!

  • Uglymicrowave

    they dont look very comfortable

  • Tim

    I hope nobody is stupid enough to buy them…

    • metalguy

      already did

  • Sammy

    In other news, some people are too dense to see sarcasm when it’s staring them in the face.

    • Tim

      Whether they’re being blogged about sarcastically or not, they still exist, and I’m sure there’s somebody nuts enough out there to want at least one of those products.

    • jason

      No kidding….THEY ARE SCULPTURES, NOT REALLY INTENDED FOR USE …fucking retards.

  • Myke

    I’m waiting for the cannibal corpse refrences

  • http://reaper-x.deviantart.com/ Reaper-X

    I hate children…I’ll buy them.

  • http://www.twogroove.com/ Tyler

    That rocking horse is badass

  • http://www.myspace.com/437666934 Noel

    well, im done with MY christmas shopping now.

  • jc

    You gotta admit that cradle fucking ROCKS!!

  • Mynamesucks

    The baby bottle and rattle look even more fucked up.

  • Brandone53

    Hell, I’ve got 2 kids. These would look great next to their giant fucking inheritance of CD’s and guitars lyin’ around.

  • http://www.roxwel.com Pick-Axe Bobby

    A+ tag on this one, Axl.

  • Insomnivore

    I’ve seen this stuff before, they’re Shi Jinsong sculptures. They missed out his suits of armour for babies, they even have bear ears.

  • Seth

    looks like something Paul Booth would design for one of his tattoos

  • Eye of Newt

    Where’s the Dethklok phone?

  • EsotericMetal

    If I have a kid i’m definitely getting them one of those. Fuck the college fund.

  • http://liggybee.blogspot.com Liggybee

    I think they’d be cool for shitz n giggles…I can’t see how any of those could actually serve its function.

  • Sandy n papo

    what a horrible couple of parents design this? I hope u burn in hell

    • Sammy

      You’re really not that bright, are you? There’s this thing called the World Wide Web, also known as the Internet. This Internet has Search Engines like Google and Yahoo. With a few keystrokes you can find out that these are pieces of artwork, NOT actual childcare products.

      • Sandy

        are u serious? I guess that if u dont tell me,, I would never realized it, thanks!!!—LOL