«
»
What the fuck??

KING OF AKITAS

 Wednesday, July 1st, 2009 at 12:38pm by

akita_puppy_1kerry_king

Speaking of tough metal dudes and adorable puppies: Kerry King reveals in the August issue of Decibel that he used to show Akitas:

“I used to have the best Akitas on the West Coast for a while,” [King] enthuses. “I had a female that couldn’t  be beat for a six-week period. She just won everything. But I had the hardest time getting those bred, man. The female, I just couldn’t get her knocked up. I had her go to the best male in the country on two different heat cycles and just couldn’t get her pregnant. They’d breed; it just wouldn’t take. We tried artificial and everything.”

I had no idea you could artificially inseminate a dog. Kind of makes you wonder why there’s no Slayer lyrics about that.

In other news, I officially feel better about owning a bichon.

-AR

Tags: , , ,
  • Shinaain

    One of the most disgusting episodes I ever saw of the “Daily Show” was the one where they had one of the female “correspondents” visit a breeder to report on animal husbandry practices. She had to give a pig a hand-job in order to collect semen for artificial insemination. I really don’t think you could pay me enough, but to each their own…

    Dog breeding and dogs shows are huge businesses, so I suppose it shouldn’t come as any surprise the lengths to which people will go to breed dogs.

  • bearwizard

    does kerry king look the future governor of new jersey in 2012 or what?

  • seveword

    “In other news, I officially feel better about owning a bichon.”
    That’s the type of thing you don’t reveal to anybody except a cute girl.

    And is it still surprising to learn that some of these people lead normal lives, outside of playing songs about Satan?

  • Turrell Snick

    “Aggressive Inseminator”

    REIGN IN BROOD!

    That dog looks like Tom Araya.

    • phale

      a winner is you! so much that i have to dredge up a 6-year-old nintendo meme to describe your awesome post.

    • http://www.myspace.com/shadow_patton Patton

      There are only two words I can use for both King and Snick’s post; EPIC WIN

  • http://www.hibernum.net hibernum

    Akitas look like fuzzy teddy bears, but they are really mean shitty little dogs. His was probably too inbred to reproduce.

    Nowadays everything is artificially inseminated. From Angelina Jolie to your momma. Go to any dairy farm, every one of those cows is artificially inseminated. Chickens too. What a strange world we live in.

    • Elitist Fuck

      Let’s go fuck some chickens and cows then, broski. Just me, you, and whoever else wants to prevent– who the fuck knows. Let’s just go fuck some chickens and cows.

      • http://myspace.com/biosyn teaches_of_peaches

        I’m down for that, bubba!

        • 16 Bitch Pile-Up

          Now I know why KFC tastes like shit.
          Though I usually refer to them as KFCFU.

          From what I understand;
          It’s best to decapitate a chicken, then shove yer hard cock into it’s ass while it does it’s spasmodic twitching.

    • http://www.countshockula.blogspot.com ezra

      Umm, “mean shittyLittle dogs”? Most Akitas are mean shitty BIG dogs. Ones that eat Bichons for breakfast. They used them to hunt bear and elk for christsakes!

  • Zach

    I used to work at an English Mastiff Kennel and I have artificialy inseminated them, it is so weird.

    • bastermann

      Ummm…do you mean personally or with like a squirter or tube?

  • Turrell Snick

    “We tried artificial and everything.”

    On page 6 of the Akita manual, it says to take off your massive nail-spiked armband before trying “everything.”

    • Dlabs

      HAHAHAHAHAHA

  • Slayerific

    it’d be funnier if he bred german shepards, considering hanneman’s favorite topic

  • Sandy

    thats the cuttest pic I evaaaarrr seen

    • bastermann

      yeah that’s good but he should have put his cup down before they snapped it..

      • Slunt

        Kerry King is the only guy Metal enough to shot-gun a specimen from the kennel and yell: SLAYER!!!

  • oblivion

    so one day in 2010 the metal ground to a halt at the sight of a basket full of puppies . they layed down there down tuned guitars and corpse paint and spoke of nuthing but hello kitty ever again.
    now thats BOOTAL!

  • I am Steve Rodgers, take a minute to get it together

    I can’t believe King’s dog isn’t covered with tats?
    I bet he has a black leather jacket for it though; maybe with a big skull on the back…

  • matt

    @exra

    Ur fucking ignorate maybe uve just never seen a nice akita but I actually work for the breeder that sold him five of those amazing dogs and I have two of my own and id rather have a akita than any other dog