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FUNNY PHOTO CAPTION CONTEST: WIN PROTEST THE HERO’S GALLOP MEETS THE EARTH LIVE CD/DVD + T-SHIRT!

 Thursday, September 3rd, 2009 at 6:11pm by

juggalosCongrats to longtime MS reader “groverXIII” for winning last week’s funny photo caption contest. GroverXIII wins a signed copy of Bigelf’s Cheat the Gallows and a t-shirt from their recent stint on the Progressive Nation tour. Grover actually submitted two entries that deserved the win, so I’ll just go ahead and post both:

“Jeff was worried that they wouldn’t let him bring his girlfriend to the Gathering because she was black.”

“Sparky realized that, even though he occasionally ate his own poop, he was still smarter than the people that surrounded him.”

Nicely done, Grover. “(required)” also gets a nod for this funny caption: “Epic Failgaiting,” which definitely made me chuckle.

This week we’re giving away three prize packages, each with a copy of Protest the Hero’s brand new live DVD/CD Gallop Meets the Earth, out September 15th, and a matching limited edition t-shirt (pictured here). That, my friends, is a great fucking haul for simply typing in a silly one-liner below. So get to it! This’ll be the last of our Gathering of the Juggalos ’09 picture series, and next week we’ll move on to bigger and better things.

juggalos

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  • Hammer_Smashed_Hurtt

    Reeses cups $1.00

    Bottled water $1.00

    Inbreeding………………….Priceless.

    • X.Y.Z

      Hahaha I like this one.

    • http://www.myspace.com/uglydirge aaron m.

      that was literally my first thought.

      • Deaner

        Same here haha

        • Lybrium

          hahaha give him the win!

    • CobraClutchMaster

      Hammer_Smashed_Hurtt you seriously need to take your ass back to work!
      P.S. If you win your giving me the prize.

    • Dixie Normis

      Thats your brother and your dad

    • Dixie Normis

      Your Caught!

  • Sin and Death

    Hillbilly entrepreneurship at its finest.

  • BruisedMetal

    Mingus and Dingus try and lure young juggalos into their tent with the promise of candy and water in a sad attempt to find friends to play hide the salami with them.

  • I’m not racist, but I hate Oceano

    Every Juggalo knows Reese’s Cup is code for anal sex and bottled water is code for a blowjob. Why anal sex and a blow job cost the same amount of money we’ll never know.

    • http://uponwingsofblack.blogspot.com/ \m/Eluveitie\m/

      Because for most Juggalos, you can’t tell one hole from the other.

      • Jimmy

        BOOSH

    • http://www.last.fm/user/groverXIII groverXIII

      Hahahaha…

      “Jimbo, this dick tastes like shit!”

      “Yeah, he opted for the buy one, get one free special.”

      • Hey Fuck Yeah groverXIII is the Shit!

        Damn grover you just never cease to bring that flame do ya. I know real talent when I see and you my friend got it in spades!!! You really could go far, don’t stop believin’

        • http://www.last.fm/user/groverXIII groverXIII

          JUST A SMALL TOWN GIRL
          LIVIN IN A LOOOOONELY WOOORLD

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Cody-Barrick/1630475642 Cody Barrick

    Even by paying for something at a juggalo event doesn’t guarantee that you’ll receive it.

    • http://www.myspace.com/somethinglikesweet CJ

      HAHAHAHAHAHA!! FUCKIN’ NICE!!

  • http://uponwingsofblack.blogspot.com/ \m/Eluveitie\m/

    This establishment would never pass a JuggalOSHA inspection.

    • ceth carter

      winner

  • Ryd1ZZ

    Sooooo… How much for a blowjob?

    • Uglymicrowave

      is that Joe Hardcore from shattered realm at the gathering??….

      there’s nothing hardcore about that Joe

  • Name Not Applicable

    “Jimbo, you misspelled ‘Feces’”

    • http://www.last.fm/user/groverXIII groverXIII

      Heh… simple, but effective. I like it.

    • I’m not racist, but I hate Oceano

      I just spent 2 minutes repeating Feces Cups over and over and laughing my ass off.

      • http://www.last.fm/user/groverXIII groverXIII

        I’m glad I’m not the only one.

      • Viking_xxx

        The best, hands down! I can’t stop laughing.

        • The Greys

          Hilarious. My hat is off to you, sir.

  • http://www.last.fm/user/groverXIII groverXIII

    Chuck and Larry decided to get creative to try to fund their honeymoon on Fire Island.

    (Thanks for the love, folks… This one may be a little tougher, but I’m quite interested in the prize here. Good luck to everyone!)

    • Hey Fuck Yeah groverXIII is the Shit!

      Oh fingers crossed. Fingers crossed!!! I’m pulling for you buddy, because you and me were meant to be.

      • http://www.myspace.com/this_is_james_myspace Necrozoid

        That’s not creepy at all…

  • lolwut

    as cletus and rusty ray realized they wernt at the county fair’s designated snack area they decided to set up shop regardless to make a honest buck

  • Viking-Shredder

    “I hope we have enough bottled water, Rubin, I mean, you know how hard it was to come across this brown construction paper…”

  • JOE HARRELL

    BREAKING NEWS: CDC reveals source of Swine Flu outbreak – buying snacks and water from PIGFUCKERS!

    • http://www.myspace.com/uglydirge aaron m.

      i don’t believe that’s a scientifically accurate statement.

  • MetalRod

    Son… I just shit my pants.

  • Nate

    Which is worse… The fact that juggalos get to unite to hang out on a large-scale basis or that a supposedly metal website is giving out Protest the Hero prizes?

    • http://www.last.fm/user/groverXIII groverXIII

      Should I assume you’ve never listened to Protest The Hero, then?

      • Nate

        Oh, I’ve listened to them. They’re fucking awful. They sound metalcore and their singer sounds like an emo who just got done cutting himse.

        • http://www.last.fm/user/groverXIII groverXIII

          Well, that’s like, your opinion, man.

          • Nate

            Totally.

          • Nate

            Sorry I’m replying to this comment, but I can’t seem to reply to your latest. yes, I am judging them off 10 minutes of music. 10 minutes of awful, earache inducing music. Honestly, when someone posts a scene band to make fun of, can’t you tell within the first 30 seconds whether its shit or not? same thing here, i just knew after a few songs I didn’t like them.

            That aside, topping lists doesn’t mean shit, unfortunately. Metalsucks, frankly, has large bits of suck. Axl, for instance, pisses me off with all the IWABO and deathcore posts. I just don’t really trust this site that much. As for other sites, I don’t really listen to other people’s opinions of how good a band is… I go with my own. I’m about the only kid i know that listens to both SpermSwamp and Say Anything. I look on websites like this for news, not so much the opinions. The occasional contest is also really cool.

            All-in-all, I probably overstated how bad Protest the Hero are. Except for the vocals, those make me want to castrate anything and everything I encounter. The music itself isn’t a total fail, its just not as interesting as it could be. Hell, give it a year or two and they might produce a record that really smacks me in the face… But until then, no.

        • Awful Offal Carnage

          Don’t forget; they’re total douche bags.

          • Nate

            Are they? Do they look like punk scene kids or are they just assholes? I don’t care about them enough to go look it up haha.

            The first time I ever heard Protest the Hero was when my core buddy told me they were the coolest band ever and i had to listen to them. That dude is cool, but his musical taste is shit, and protest the hero is no eception.

    • I’m not racist, but I hate Oceano

      If Protest the Hero isn’t metal i guess I don’t know what metal is. Also I assume you based your judgement off of the first 30 seconds of vocals and ignored the instruments completely.

      • Nate

        The instruments are totally boring. The vocals, to quote Napalm Death, are just the Icing on the Hate.

        Its funny because iTunes says they’re influenced by “progressive metal” but it’s more like they WANT to be progressive metal.

        • http://www.myspace.com/this_is_james_myspace Necrozoid

          Go trash Protest elsewhere. There is no room for your ignorance here.

          • Nate

            What’s funny is that you’re calling an opinion ignorant…. You see, if I had never listened to Protest the Hero, then yes, it would be ignorant. But seeing as I have put up with their bullshit “songwriting” for about 10 minutes of my entire life, it’s a decently educated opinion.

            When you’re less of an inane douchebag and have better musical taste, I might consider replying to you again… But until then, eat shit and die.

          • http://www.last.fm/user/groverXIII groverXIII

            So you’re judging them on 10 minutes of their music?

            They did top a lot of ‘Best of 2008′ lists, here and elsewhere. I dig ‘em, even though their vocals border on ridiculous sometimes.

        • Joleen

          Never trust anything Apple says, they claim Macs don’t freeze up and have issues, they claim there are no Mac viruses…well, I’m here to tell you that is a load of shit. I’ve had nothing but problems with my Mac since day one. So, if iTunes tells you the sky is blue you should probably go check for yourself but they’re no doubt lying.

          • Nate

            by iTunes review I meant the people submitting band reviews. And either way, that doesnt change the fact that i actually listened to the music and thought it was shit.

  • http://uponwingsofblack.blogspot.com/ \m/Eluveitie\m/

    These guys are a couple of banjos short of a Burt Reynolds movie.

    • troe

      I was definitely going to throw in a Deliverance reference. Looks like you may have beat me to it :(

  • http://www.last.fm/user/groverXIII groverXIII

    It’s hard to work with your boss watching over your shoulder, whether you’re an office drone or a male prostitute specializing in Juggalos.

  • Sean Pulatie

    Reese’s Cups and bottled water. The cornerstone of any Juggalo’s breakfast.

    • FuckYourGayEmoHaircut

      pfft…fail. Everyone knows cheeseburgers and Faygo are the cornerstones of every juggalo meal.

      • lolwut

        and u know this how?

  • Mooby

    Hey lookee loo we got us a legit bid’nizz photo now. Alls we need now is a fancy’ fountain in front an’ we’ll be in a forchewn 500rnt companee by tomorry!

  • Mitch

    Unfortunately, the remainders of the beer case couldn’t quite accommodate the key Hot Pockets marketing pitch these fine brothers/cousins had all lined up.

  • cougar party

    “The Reeses Cups are $1.00, Bottled Water is $1.00, but the rape is free.”

  • Timothy

    In the wake of the recession, juggalos’ around the country unite in southern Mississippi to form a modern day shanty town. Two such juggalos, Scooter and Jed-Carter (above), test the entrepreneurial waters with their Reese’s Cups and Water bottle stand. “Times is hard” said Scooter, “but everybody like Reese’s cups and waters… right?”

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Zach-Dolan/100000151486558 Zach Dolan

    At lest they speled water write!

  • NuMallCore Pwns YoMama

    Its a shame how the Great Milenko has reduced to selling his warez for a dollar. It’s all about the Washingtons, baby!

  • Chris

    Having a gene pool the size of a bird bath? Priceless.
    There are some things money can’t buy. For everything else, there’s your sister’s cooch.

    • Mitch

      1

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Mikal-Ducharme/669004824 Mikaël Ducharme

    Inbred Quarantine In Alabama: Gay married couple Tim McNeil and Tim McNeil Jr. struggle for survival.

  • heebman169

    “we love mommah, but all that there creepin into our haylf of the trailer at night’s gotta stawp. that’s wah we’re fixin to raise some money to pay one of our juggalo brothers to take her off our hands (y’know sexually ‘n’ such). this way, she won’t be touchin’ out tinks… but we’s still keep it in the family!”

  • FuckYourGayEmoHaircut

    Enus and Jack were wondering why no young male jugglaos were falling for their “cheap reese’s and water” ploy when it finally hit them…they forget the Faygo.

    • FuckYourGayEmoHaircut

      *forgot

  • Kevin C

    Text on the flip side of cardboard sign: Will reenact scenes from Deliverance for food/faygo soda

  • http://uponwingsofblack.blogspot.com/ \m/Eluveitie\m/

    We need like some name tags with our picture on it, all laminated and what not. I mean, we gotta look legit man.

    • http://www.myspace.com/uglydirge aaron m.

      lol.

    • Ty

      Haven’t seen that movie in so long. I laughed the whole way through first time I saw it.

      • http://uponwingsofblack.blogspot.com/ \m/Eluveitie\m/

        I hated it the first time I saw it, the second time I laughed my ass off.

        • Beard

          I was high the first time I saw it and I laughed. Watched it later, not high, and hated it.

  • zl6

    there not selling anything…..

  • http://www.last.fm/user/groverXIII groverXIII

    “Alright, see, when we get a customer, you take ‘em back towards the tent like yer gonna give ‘em the merchandise. Meanwhiles, I sneak up behind ‘em and brain ‘em wif a pipe. Then, we stuff ‘em in the trunk, take ‘em back to our shack, and bring out The Gimp.”

    • Hey Fuck Yeah groverXIII is the Shit!

      Uh oh I’m begining to feel like maybe some of your gift is being phoned in. You’re starting to slip man. Step up your game.

      • http://www.myspace.com/this_is_james_myspace Necrozoid

        I reiterate, i think you should be worried grover.

        • http://www.last.fm/user/groverXIII groverXIII

          Yeah, I am worried… I don’t think he loves me after all. I feel disillusioned.

  • OBEY1019

    Two charming young lads making meth money for when they get home.

  • Viking_xxx

    ICP without their make-up

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Mark-Gavin/1396340262 Mark Gavin

    System of a Down Syndrome’s biggest fans.

  • Peter

    Son shows to Dad how good he is at running the family business

  • http://kzscsledge.blogspot.com GoatRidersHorde

    handjob: $5.00

  • Captain Blacklung

    “We had a kick-ass sign covered with clowns and gold stars but we sold it for a twinkie.”

    • Funbag Darrell

      WIN. This guy knows the mind of a juggalo.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Oystein-Aarseth/100000095155180 Oystein Aarseth

    Now out of Dimmu, I.C.S. Vortex and Mustis are degrading themselves a little less with their current job.

  • Deschain

    “You mean Reese’s cups iz candy!? I thought we got to see your sisters tits.”

    • Dave D

      LOL! winner

  • Ty

    “Hopefully we can raise enough funds to buy some birth control pills.”

  • Phantasm

    Virginity – Free, what no takers?

  • Metal Fuckin’ Dave

    Meanwhile, the boss back at Piggly Wiggly is trying to figure out what happened to the Reece Cup and Bottled Water display he had trustingly put in the hands of Jimbo to build.

    • Hey Fuck Yeah groverXIII is the Shit!

      “Reece Cup”?

      Fail. Again.

      • Metal Fuckin’ Dave

        Yeah. Failure is my comfort zone.

  • Meat

    Our propitious and warm smiles-Free.

  • Facebook User

    “wow! what a steal! bottle waher for only a dollar!”

  • Spanky

    Wow, his shirt says “quarantine”….who woulda thought? I knew it was a toxic area…but damn

  • http://uponwingsofblack.blogspot.com/ \m/Eluveitie\m/

    The Gulf Coast prepares for the next ‘big one’

  • http://www.myspace.com/i_be_groovin THRASHETTE

    Because you just can’t deal drugs with glasses.

    Yeah, idk, I’m new. :P

  • http://eddiebanchs@mac.com Eddie

    Obviously they both failed as male prostitutes.

  • http://eddiebanchs@mac.com Eddie

    “Damn, honey, I only got two bucks, and they want $100,100 for both!”

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jake-Ryan/596440962 Jake Ryan

    The food found at the ‘gathering of the juggalos’ is far cheaper than at most other shows. However you run the risk of consuming bodily fluids.

  • Matt

    Bubba Jim and Joe have their best sales weekend ever at the Gathering of the Juggalos.

  • Hey Fuck Yeah (insert noun) is the Shit!

    Axl and Vince at their day-job!

  • effer

    The co-joined down syndrome babies from Exodus’ Bonded In Blood album cover are all grown up!

    • effer

      By

      • Hey Fuck Yeah groverXIII is the Shit!

        FAIL.

  • Malacoda

    Two sad, sad Juggalos just wanted to find out what someone would look like who would buy Reese’s from them.

  • http://www.conorschaefer.com/blog/ Conor

    Dude… that guy is supposed to be IN QUARANTINE!

  • TheHardG

    Reese’s Cup’s $1.00
    Bottled Water $1.00
    Not being the only toothless Juggalo’s Priceless

  • SourDeez

    “We’ve also got some homecooked meth. It’s in the red tent, help yourself. Just ignore all the naked fat guys in clown paint. Unless you feel like joining in after you hit the meth.”

  • Beard

    Sloth ate all the Baby Ruths and all that was left were Goddamned Reese’s Cups. Sean Austin was pissed.

  • Chris D.

    After burning the office down, Milton returns skinnier than ever with Doug from Accounting in this laugh-out-loud sequel!

  • rattlehead

    Upon realizing they could only get 25 cents or Alabama food stamps for their tickets these would be scalpers decide to go with a much classier product. Tune in tomorrow as we find out whether they earned enough gas money for the trip home or killed themselves after witnessing tonight’s evenings main event.

    • rattlehead

      whoops- scratch the word evenings. bad edit

  • d.o.g.o.b.g.y.n.

    “Boy, I tell you what, man, I’ll tell you the dang ol’ truth, man, buy some dang ol’ Reese’s cups, I tell you what, man, you’ll have to fight them dang ol’ sixteen year-old juggalettes off with a stick.”

    • SourDeez

      Thanks for the advice, Boomhauer.

  • Nocturne

    “Welcome to Alabama’s Dignity Village, where the secret ingredient sure ain’t peanut butter.”

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Michael-Acerra/508945856 Michael Acerra

    Dignity has long since eluded the grasp of Beau and Floyd’s customers, but on the bright side, atleast they’re getting a $2 dinner at the gathering…ahhhh, the comforts of home.

  • poopsmcgee

    Which one’s Reese?

    • http://uponwingsofblack.blogspot.com/ \m/Eluveitie\m/

      Wow, Play-It-Again Sports look really different south of the Mason-Dixon line…

  • poopsmcgee

    oh man, i didn’t realize quasimodo was a juggalo…my whole childhood is a lie…

  • http://www.myspace.com/thescienceofsleepar Eli

    It’s good to see Dave and Kerry can at least come together over something.

  • Sofa King

    Denny, we are gonna make a fucking FORTUNE!

    • http://uponwingsofblack.blogspot.com/ \m/Eluveitie\m/

      Haha fuck I dunno why this was so funny, but I loved it

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Mary-Bowers/604122104 Mary Bowers

    Even retards go to the gathering to feel smart and look good doing it.

  • http://danielldean10@yahoo.com Danno

    Hey Cletus, tell ‘um ’bout da time you was jerkin’ me off and we was so drunk you couldn’t cum, so you jus’ pissed all over my face

  • Jonathan

    This time, there’s no Beavis. Just two butt-heads.

  • El Crispy

    “Hey man, I heard dat e’rybody’s always complainin’ bout de high prices of water ‘n shit at fuckin shows man. We’s gon be like pioneers or some shit with this hookup.”

  • http://uponwingsofblack.blogspot.com/ ipc4me

    YO FUCKERS I DONT RLY FUCKIN APRESHIATE ALL DA PICTRUES FRUM DA ABOUT US JUGGALOPES SUMBODY NEED GIVE U ALL A FUCKIN LESSIN IN JUGGALESE OR SUM SHIT ONE DOLLER 4 FUCKIN WATER N RESSES IS A FUCKIN DEAL IN DA RUFF FUCKIN ECOMONY CUZ US JUGGABOS NO HOW TO TREET EACH OTHA RITE N SHIT U ALL JUS JELOS U CANT GET CANDY N DRINKS N SHIT FOR DAT CHEEP OF A PRICE N SHIT FUCK U ALL R JUS GAY N WEN I NEEDA PICK UP A FUCKIN ATHLETIC SUPROTER I GET DEM FRUM REESE CUZ HIS CUPS R ALL USED BUT DEY R LIKE BRAN FUCKIN NEW OKAY FUCKER?

    • Nate

      Lol? WTF is this?

    • http://www.myspace.com/hateband666 Wanga

      Is this Spanish or something???

      • Joleen

        You didn’t think mine was very funny but your think this is?! Um, okay, just makes you sound like a supporter of “the cause.” But then, about halfway through, you changed tone, in which case it’s not even funny as a rant in favor OF ICP. Just shows you have no follow through.

  • iAmAsteroid

    “C’mon, mister! Just two dollars so we can go back and join the sheep orgy!”

  • Travis Montgomery

    Hey Joe, do you think it was a good Idea to sell the “special reeses” right next to communal bathroom.

    or

    I knew it wasn’t a good Idea to blow all our money on that Jeff Foxworthy Beltbuckle

  • dale schmucker

    the price of a ticket to the tim mcgraw concert

    • dale schmucker

      hee- haw!!!

  • Jim

    Sodomy – $3.50 -free for kin

    OR

    Hey Jeb.

    Yeah little brother?

    Is momma on the rag again?

    Don’t rightly know, why you ask?

    Cause your dick tasted really funny this morning.

  • SteveM

    These hard economic times get the most out of people. Twiztid has to make a buck or two to keep up with their extravagant lifestyle of random “reach arounds” and Faygo Pop.

  • http://myspace.com/shepherdsgatemusic Michael Fenton

    Resses Cup: $1.00, Bottled Water: $1:00, Toothless manly blowjob: Priceless.

  • http://new-worthless-hack.blogspot.com Kratz

    It’s nice to see that some of the members of Limp Bizkit aren’t dead. Yet.

  • Mandabizzzzznut

    Lookin’ for a tent b4 sundown…we’re reallllll cuddley!

  • http://myspace.com/shepherdsgatemusic Michael Fenton

    Retarded Eminem and Retarded John Hein Bababooey Bababoeey Bababooey!

  • zhitnik

    “Pantera is the bestest metal band ever!”

    Had to say it with all the Pantera/redneck/inbred/whathaveyou bashing lately -_-

  • mandabizzzzznut

    For Sale: Two 100% cotton, pre-shrunk walmart T’s.
    Slighlty used, slightly salty.. Totally authentic!

  • icebeast

    William and Julian, ever the entrepreneurial wunderkinds, rather than viewing the lack of restroom facilities as detrimental, used their knack for marketing to post their most profitable quarter yet.

    (Juggatards bought their pee and poo! Gnarly! That’s so kvlt!)

  • Jordan

    All beverages come with complimentary sodomy

  • Chilech

    Two Guys, Reese’s Cups.

  • FlyingDadBomb

    This, my friends, is the heavy metal black market at its finest.

  • sluga

    Don’t let down syndrome spoil your dreams of selling bottled water

  • MetalRod

    For the first time in history, ICP have decided to take off the face paint to tell all Juggalos about their new double-album, “Reese’s Cups and Bottled Water”!!

  • Extra_Nina

    I will ask again! Wtf is Juggalo???? I am serious!! I am from Europa and don’t know this word…Anyway they look like rednecks ( all of them)

    • MetalRod

      A Juggalo is basically an idiot… by association…

      • Extra_Nina

        Thanks :)

  • jonowev

    The refreshment stands at this year’s Download Festival were a vast improvement over the previous year.

  • http://www.myspace.com/hateband666 Wanga

    The surviving members of Mayhem raise money for their next tour of Iceland.

  • Shane Gillis

    “Collect all 2 sale items and you get to sleep between us in the tint. We’ve got beef jerky and lady’s underwear ads in there…if you catch my drift.”

    • Shane Gillis

      that should be “tent.”

  • http://www.welovemetal.com We Love Metal

    “Just send for our free DVD and you too can be making thousands a day working from home”

  • hater_guy

    the Brothers, Feminem and Kid Kock, will do anything to get their next rape fix. Especially offering candy.

  • DJ Arnold

    It’s nice to see a retarded entrepreneur

    As Ron White would say “Things that make you go, UGGGHHHH!!!”

  • DJ Arnold

    Two retards look around and think “We cuh make some money off deez id uts”

  • Cullen

    “Reese’s Cups” and “Bottled Water” were the last two male escorts remaining at the male juggalo ho camp, they were also the most expensive.

  • http://fantasyh.wordpress.com fantasyh

    Obviously Reese’s Cups is the guy on the left, and Bottled Water is the guy on the right. But why are they so expensive I havnen’t a fucking clue.

  • RobotScythe

    The two top candidates for Billy Mays’ open spot.

  • Chrispy Biscuit

    Despite the truly noble fundraising attempt, the bastard son of Dustin Rhodes and Jimmy Durante was not released from the quarantine imposed on him by Dr. Kevorkian.

  • Chris

    redneck inflation.

  • dead phlegaton

    Rudy wasn’t about to let that pesky quarantine mandate keep him from infecting as many bitches as possible.

  • http://josh josh jacobson

    even larry the cable guy and jeff foxworthy have been hit by this recession……

  • halloway

    in today’s economy, juggalos are no longer confined to their trailer parks – “tent parks” have been springing up throughout rural america and in rebellion are neglecting simple, healthy diet plans provided to most kindergarten students.

  • Kevin Salinas

    “deys cheap cuz we got them special homemade poo poo butter cups, ull need the water to wash em down tho”

  • Sacajawea

    “Well, you have two options. Either you drink the water or Reese drinks the water and fills up a cup for you.

  • Chris

    BBBBAAAAABBBBBYYYYYYRUUUUUTTTTTTHHHHHHHH!!!!!

  • Chris

    What, no BBBBAAAABBBBBYYYYYRRRRRUUUUTTTTTHHHHHH???

  • Sacajawea

    They serve only the finest at the Juggalo health club.

  • Timothy

    “Hey, I heard you guys give hand jobs? Well go wash your hands and get me a Reese’s Cup and a bottle of water.”

  • ilona

    It used to say “Will work for Reese’s cups, bottled water, and dollars” but they realized they were too lazy to work so they rewrote the sign in hopes to get it for free.

  • The Greys

    “If your buy more than $5 worth, I’ll let you butt-bang Leroy here for free.”

    • Sacajawea

      A Juggalo that can count to 5? At the gathering they might consider him a witch.

  • prives

    When bags of lollies became too stereotypical, Chester the child molester found a new type of bait…

  • Luke Friebel

    Obviously these two don’t know, if you want to score with a Juggalette you need meth and heroine.

  • Sacajawea

    Question: So we buy these gas station Reese’s cups for $1.29, then resell them for a dollar. How are we making money?

    Answer: Volume!

  • prives

    When the recession hit, it was left to Warren and Merle to implement some more effective, contemporary marketing techniques in order to keep the fammily business afloat.

  • Mike A

    I knows we wrote the price somewhere?

  • \m/Eluveitie\m/

    There are a lot of people correcting mistakes in there entries, which makes them totally unfunny.

    • \m/Eluveitie\m/

      *their

      • Sacajawea

        Nicely done sir. I don’t even care that it had nothing to do with the photo, I’d give you the prize for that.

  • Zombie(really)

    “Hey Jim, whats this here machine they pointing at us?”

  • http://www.weakmusicforthomas.com Brandon Marvin

    Hi, I’m Darryl and this is my brother, Darryl.

    • \m/Eluveitie\m/

      Hands down my favorite line ever

      • Meat

        agreed

  • http://myspace.com/shepherdsgatemusic,myspace.com/burymeinsmokemusic Michael Fenton

    This is actually ICP without the make-up on.

  • Pyroninja42

    ICP’s fanbase consists mostly of rednecks born in incest and with fetal alcohol syndrome.

  • Kristen

    “Not even the low prices and bonus items could increase sales at the Igor and Elephant Man’s ‘Juggalo Kissing Booth’.”

  • Gaia

    “Now listen son, it’s not rape if you shout ‘surprise’…”

  • Gaia

    “Goddamn it… for a minute there i thought ICP were No.1 on the list…”

  • Adam

    Reese’s cups: $1.00
    bottled water: $1.00
    Inbreeding: first cum, first served.
    no refunds.

  • http://bsisserson@gmail.com nairbs

    Jim Bob leans over towards Ernie and whispers “Hey man you still got that butt plug?”

  • http://metalchick Rachel Hacker

    Fred Durst and DJ Lethal’s side project. What we don’t know is that the water is actually hot dog flavored and the Reese’s Cups are chocolate starfish.

  • Jim

    Cletus and Billy Bubba Bo Bob didn’t let the lack of a van stop their dreams of molestation. Unfortunalely for them, they didn’t realize that you’re supposed to offer the candy for free, and thus their dreams managed to never come to fruition.

  • WowWee!

    Darn dis da smartist thang we done ever did Cus, darn tootin dis gonza make us the riches ones in the park when we gets home aint that right Pa? Is Ma done with her customer so I can put back up the other sign again? No when ur sister done gets out ull know ok Boy.

  • WowWee!

    These were the smartest people we could find at the gathering…

  • http://myspace.com/obeydarklord mr_Izan

    “Reese’s and bottled water are one dollar, but hugs are free!”
    I don’t even care for the prize- not too into protest the hero i just hope this’ll get a good chuckle out of you guys.

    • WowWee!

      it didnt

  • SLENDER

    “No one will smoke weed with us, so were selling all our rations for a dime bag.”

  • The Deuce

    H1N1 Vaccination Funding
    ——————————————
    Thinking back, Nathaniel and Uncle Jim could have used their state
    fair snack earnings for a new set of truck nuts and now regret
    spending that Saturday magical night in the pig barn.

  • Timothy

    Joe Dirt: So your gonna tell me that you don’t have no snickers, baby ruths, or kit-kats?
    Scooter: No.
    Joe Dirt: Oh come on man. You got no whatchamacallits, m&ms, reese’s pieces, mr. goodbars, or york peppermint patties?
    Scooter: No, I don’t.
    Joe Dirt: You’re gonna stand there, owning a candy stand, and tell me you don’t have no almond joys, s’mores, mounds, krackles, crunches, butterfingers, hershey bars, twix, mars bars, 100 grands, abba zabas, or charlseton chews?
    Scooter: No… because reese’s cups and waters are the only ones I like.
    Joe Dirt: Well that might be your problem, it’s not what you like, it’s the consuuumer.

  • Tom

    Reese’s Cups $1.00
    Bottled Water $1.00
    Having a child with my sister Priceless

  • cockboy

    “Me an’ Quawantine was waitin’ out here all night! We needs 3 dollers more to get our helicoptermajig ride!”

  • Shiggy Shack

    Ironincally enough, those reeses cups and water tasted a lot like faygo.

  • Joleen

    The boys are on the new Walmart Suplemental Income plan.

    • Joleen

      Or even better:

      In an attempt to pad their meager Walmart paychecks, Juggalo diehards, Bubba and Cletus go into business for themselves.

      • http://uponwingsofblack.blogspot.com/ ipc4me

        I can’t see how that was “even better”…maybe “not quite as bad” would’ve been a better description.

        • Joleen

          Well, considering some of the other fair, up top, yeah, I think mine is far better.

        • Sacajawea

          What happened “ipc4me”? You’ve suddenly begun to use lowercase letters and proper punctuation. I am very disappointed.

          • http://uponwingsofblack.blogspot.com/ ipc4me

            FUCK SUM1 HAKED MY CUMPUTOR N STOLED MY ACOUNTT OR SUM SHIT CANT FUCKIN GO NE WEAR N LEEVE UR DOOR UNLOCKD OR NUTHIN FUCKIN GAY SHIT FUCKERS ALWAYZ BRAKIN IN2 MY TRALER

  • dane

    What happens in the back woods of Georgia………. Stays in the back woods of Georgia!

    When the hills have eyes 3!?

    • Dane

      The hills have eyes 3!?

  • http://uponwingsofblack.blogspot.com/ \m/Eluveitie\m/

    There needs to be some kind of qualifying exam to participate in these contests, some of these responses are just pathetic.

  • bearwizard

    wat

  • http://www.metalsucks.net DeaThrash

    Now we know where Sloth goes when he breaks his chains and the other Goonies aren’t around.

  • David

    Dude. Should I call the doctors?……………… I’ve had this boner for more then 4 hours.

  • wolfgoose

    I’ma familiaritize my prostations with the connectitude of your reproduction organs!

  • http://www.pandasdestroy.com jorbams

    Pictured: Vince Neilstein III and Axl Rosenberg (of the Hampshire Rosenbergs)

    Quote: Vince: Hey ya’ll, web hosting costs is powerful ‘spensive! Help us out!
    Axl: Most of these Reeses’ Cups don’t have semen in them!

  • CrazyD

    Welcome to our wonderful world as hillbillies….Everything is only $1.00
    Bottled water- $1.00
    Recess pieces- $1.00
    My Daughter- $1.00
    My wife- $1.00

  • Guy that knows way too many dead baby jokes

    Zeb hopefully we’ll catch a couple files in the spiderweb

  • WowWee!

    The two people who inspired Mike Judge to make a new Beavis and Butt-Head project.

  • WowWee!

    Where’d mah banjo get to bohy, sorry pa i sold it for a dollar but its ok cause after I bought back the reeses cup he bought earlier. Good work son doin jus what I taught ya. Is Ma still busy back there? She probably aint shes a hard worker so shes goin for overtime pay, they call that time and a half boy. Dang Pa I hope to be as smart as you one day.