PHOTO CAPTION CONTEST: WIN A SUPER DELUXE VERSION OF SOUNDGARDEN’S TELEPHANTASM

Thursday, September 30th, 2010 at 5:00pm by

Last week we bestowed upon you, our loyal readers, the chance to win a vinyl copy of Valient Thorr’s Stranger as well a sweet VT t-shirt. A shout-out is in order for Genial Gentile whose “Hammered Smash Face” comment made me laugh, but ultimately I had to go with this one for its topical relevancy:

  • Dingas McCloud: “VALIENT FLORR.”

soundgarden - telephantasmNice job, Dingas! This week we’re giving away a Super Deluxe copy of the recently released Soundgarden retrospective set Telephantasm. The Super Deluxe version consists of 2 CDs — including the best of Soundgarden and some rare live and unreleased tracks (including “Black Rain“) — and a DVD containing the band’s entire music video collection and some bonus material, all housed in the deluxe packaging you see to the left (track list after the jump).

To win, just come up with the funniest caption to the below photo, and remember to use a real email address (or post it with your comment if you’re using FB Connect)!


SUPER DELUXE VERSION:
2 CDs + Ltd Ed DVD + 3 heavy vinyl discs plus more in deluxe packaging

CD – Disc One
1. All Your Lies
2. Hunted Down
3. Fopp
4. Beyond The Wheel
5. Flower (BBC Session)*
6. Hands All Over
7. Big Dumb Sex
8. Get On The Snake (Live)
9. Room A Thousand Years Wide (Single Version)*
10. Rusty Cage
11. Outshined
12. Slaves & Bulldozers

CD – Disc Two
1. Jesus Christ Pose (Live)
2. Birth Ritual
3. My Wave
4. Superunknown
5. Spoonman
6. Black Hole Sun
7. Fell On Black Days (Video Version)
8. Burden In My Hand
9. Dusty
10. Pretty Noose (Live on SNL)*
11. Blow Up The Outside World (MTV Live ‘N’ Loud)*
12. Black Rain*

DVD – THE MUSIC VIDEOS
-All Videos Previously Unreleased Except ^

1. Flower
2. Hands All Over^
3. Loud Love^
4. Jesus Christ Pose- (Original Version)
5. Outshined
6. Rusty Cage
7. My Wave^
8. Spoonman
9. The Day I Tried To Live (Uncensored)^
10. Black Hole Sun^
11. Fell On Black Days^
12. Pretty Noose (Uncensored)
13. Burden In My Hand
14. Blow Up The Outside World (Uncensored)

BONUS VIDEOS:
1. Spoonman (Mash-up Version)
2. The Day I Tried To Live (European Version)
3. Superunknown^
4. Pretty Noose (International Version)
5. Pretty Noose (Alternate Ending)
6. Blow Up The Outside World (Censored)

Tags: ,
  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Marshall-Wild-Hoss-Wible/100000703187364 Marshall Wild-Hoss Wible

    The thing is, seeing a hipster in a Burzum shirt isn’t all that shocking

    • Dr. Steve Brule

      Yea. Hipsters fucking love Burzum.

      • SourDeez

        What hipsters are you talking about? And I mean like, in real life. Have you ever seen a hipster at a metal show? Because I think all this “hipster metal” shit has originated entirely on the internet. In real life, I have never seen a hipster that listens to any metal whatsoever.

        • change

          allow me to introduce myself…

        • Steph

          Exactly. Hipster metal doesn’t exist, it’s entirely a fabrication.

          • Conrad

            Here, here.

  • http://thenumberoftheblog.com Snagon

    Un-Black Metal

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Greg-Vance/782570134 Greg Vance

    Howard Jones is looking rough since his departure from Killswitch.

    • Balls

      lol

  • Dr. Steve Brule

    This is huh…Wow!

    • ian

      This should probably win but I doubt anyone will get it.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Luis-Rodriguez/601735615 Luis Rodriguez

        >mfw i get it
        also
        “metal is for kids, i just like burzum ironically”

        • Dr. Steve Brule

          >metal
          >good

          pick one

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/John-Kunsak/1481910220 John Kunsak

      LOL. Took me a while,but i totally got it.

  • MikeH

    Stevie wonder’s kid had no idea what t shirt he had on

    • Doc

      ouch

  • Matthew Grant Anson

    Bootsy Collins dyed his hair?

  • BTK666

    Kanye? No, Ye Kant.

    • CRAZYD

      Lmao!

  • Ian

    Burzerker1 to Burzerker2, I am approaching the church. Over.

    • B-dizzle

      Haha this is pretty clever

    • cougar party

      funny.

  • Sacajawea

    The “Family Matters” reunion was fucking awkward.

    • MadSkins

      This. Fucking awesome.

    • http://myspace.com/theswampzombiecult Blake

      NICE!!!!

    • CRAZYD

      hahahahha Nice

    • chainchomp

      lol…..Beat me to it. Mine was gonna be somewhere along the lines of: After many failed attempts at love with Laura, Steve Urkel decided that the Winslows could go fuck themselves. He would later move to Spain and start a new hybrid of douche: the Emeath (emo + death metal).

  • Isaac

    Black Metal Ist Krieg, mo’ fucka.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Keith-Brown/537636633 Keith Brown

    “you probably haven’t heard of this band, they’re so underground, they’ve never actually released any of their music, just a bunch of records with feedback…”

    • evilfatguy

      BA-ZINGGG

  • Bicro

    Yeah, I like my hair too. Oh the shirt? My cousin gave it to me….SO ironic.

  • A2James

    Emo Urkel.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Greg-Kennelty/100000324595253 Greg Kennelty

    Go to black metal show. READ HEMMINGWAY!

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Greg-Kennelty/100000324595253 Greg Kennelty
  • The_Dude

    when did they announce a metal verison of fresh prince?

  • Frampler

    Suck on that Varg you racist piece of shit!

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Sans-Shame/1042014350 Sans Shame

      win!

    • SP420

      Oh yeah, real way to stick it to him by showing support for him.

  • BigBintheAV

    Lead singer of The Darkest Heart: An emo tribute to Berzum

    • The_Dude

      way to spell it wrong burzum is the right way dude

      • BigBintheAV

        Bwah haha. *Burzum.

  • Sophus

    moar liek Hipster Lyset Tar Oss amirite lololololololo

  • Poo-Scented

    At first I thought the photo being commented on was the Soundgarden one… And for that:

    *GASP* Another portmanteau!

  • Al

    Clayton Bigsby’s blind nephew Laurence enjoys finds deep truth in Varg’s rants about “the stereotypical Negro”.

    • Al

      fuck… Clayton Bigsby’s blind nephew Laurence finds deep truth in Varg’s rants about “the stereotypical Negro”.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Daniel-J-Mock/1296912271 Daniel J. Mock

        Hah, I was thinking something along these lines, but I don’t think too many people would know who he is, unless they watched The Chappelle Show re-run last night as well.

  • Kuranes

    “Yeah, so I read an interview with him where he said that metal fans were like a ‘bunch of white ni**ers’, and seeing as how I dress like a black honky anyway it seemed like a good fit.”

  • stan47islav

    ay mon….its laundry day.

  • andy hally

    if this fluffy headed noodle ever busted through a church door holding a torch, the priest would shit his dick from laughing so hard and the alter boy would kick his ass

  • brent

    Will.I.Am-going-to-slit-my-wrists

    • Aaron Ramon

      WINNER.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Alan-Miller/710607007 Alan Miller

      lmao awesome

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Clayton-Russell/553693986 Clayton Russell

    Tanned and rested, Varg is spotted going into a local pub.

    eddievanclaylen@yahoo.com

  • VALIS

    “What’s that? Sorry, I can’t hear you over all my irony.”

  • BruisedMetal

    “Dude I totally just put acid in my ear…shhh I can hear it!…oh it says hi”

  • jason

    1) nigga please, burzum is br00t4lz
    2 he takes black metal far to literally

  • Green Man

    I bet he works at Vrban Övtfitters.

    • Pete Elliott

      A+ right here.

    • orbital

      hahaaahaaha

    • (((unartig)))

      priceless

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Graeme-Arbuthnot/502368476 Graeme Arbuthnot

      oh he’s gonna wiiiiin

      • Aenon

        niceeeeeee

  • MBen

    T.V. on the Ra-DIO

  • andy hally

    Varg’s prison bitch

  • DD

    Kanye North

    • DD

      I would say nice black metal shirt but you might take me for a racist.

  • BruisedMetal

    “I can hear my hand…what? Kill who?”

  • Dingas McCloud

    Count Grishblackh

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jimi-Hite/732925706 Jimi Hite

      LOL

  • Jason

    Gnarls Baldrs

  • BruisedMetal

    uh is my face to big for my glasses? I think I feel my brain in my ear.. my brain is pretty small!.. whoa

  • http://www.schenkeltown.com Schenkeltown

    dani filth really needs to stop falling aslepp in tanning beds

    • Greg

      FAIL

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Alan-Miller/710607007 Alan Miller

      SUCCESS

  • http://deleted Ken

    wearing an iron maiden shirt wasn’t ironic enough

  • andy hally

    Chocolate Pain!!!

    • brent

      (I move away from the mic to impale.)

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Andy-AMoney-Hally-/5821232 Andy AMoney Hally Σχ

        hahahahahaha

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Graeme-Arbuthnot/502368476 Graeme Arbuthnot

        ….. victory

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ben-Moore/100000457840985 Ben Moore

        fucking awesome hahah

  • BruisedMetal

    Captain caaaaave maaaaan!

  • Rob

    On the day his favorite Earth, Wind and Fire t-shirt was at the cleaners, Spike Lee was photographed awkwardly wearing his favorite Burzum shirt.

    The Rev. Jesse Jackson will be making a statement shortly.

  • Mike

    Pete Wentz & Michael Jackson had a baby!

  • Nick Francis

    “I got this terrible ringing in my ear, sounds like The Darkness…”

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/James-Sterling-Rice/1030080162 James Sterling Rice

    Black Hole Son.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/James-Sterling-Rice/1030080162 James Sterling Rice
    • http://www.facebook.com/people/James-Sterling-Rice/1030080162 James Sterling Rice

      also alternatively,

      Black Hoe’s Son.

  • Fufkin

    Not an entry but a sidenote – that man is a musician called Devonte Hynes aka Lightspeed Champion.

    • Fufkin

      And while I’m not a fan of his music I know he’s a longtime metal fan – so the hipster comments don’t stand up.

    • http://www.segadriven.com Hairyman

      I thought I recognised him! I was a fan of his previous band Test Icicles. They made some pretty good spaz-rock.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Shaun-Reeves/100000774753955 Shaun Reeves

    …and scientists are still trying to figure out just how the conscious minds of Varg and Urkel were transferred into the emo chimp from Planet Of The Apes…

  • el fucko

    ironic because Varg hates blacks and gays…

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Alan-Miller/710607007 Alan Miller

      you see the idea is to come up with a creative comment regarding the image rather that pointing out exactly what’s wrong with it

  • Benito

    I thought you guys already did an article on the burzum/bob marley mix

  • Fred Durst

    Could you speak into my good ear? , I think I heard you call me asshole.

  • andy hally

    I just looked in the mirror, and things are looking so hood. I’m lookin Brooklyn hipster, but I’m stuck in Fjorskvald, Norway…oh yeah… and I’m feeling….I’M FEELING… OUTSHINED OUTSHINED.. OUT…of place

  • deanerhead

    ‘Mo’ Better Black Metal’…A Spike Lee Joint.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Neil-Forrest-Nalley/1396964302 Neil Forrest Nalley

      win

  • http://www.myspace.com/sentinelmass SENTINEL

    BLACKMOTORVINTER!!!

  • BigDan

    Urkelcore

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Austin-Sharktopus-Nutter/1418565949 Austin Sharktopus Nutter

    He’s so ironic that he hates hipsters just to be ironic.
    cumfartcocktails@gmail.com

    • SourDeez

      Do you put that email address on job applications?

    • DK0

      Ohh man i love your movies!

      haha, the email addresses are often the funniest entries into the competition

  • A2James

    The new vocalist for Emmure

  • BruisedMetal

    I think I have a Black Hole Sun in my ear… can you get it out for me? uuuuuh

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Christian-Varg-Voltaggio/1409575074 Christian Varg Voltaggio

    “I remember when this band had INTEGRITY…wait what?”

  • BruisedMetal

    Dude I have a garden of sound in my ear right now…whoa that would be a cool band name!

  • Cryzthormagnusian

    This guy makes Wesley Willis look sane.

  • BruisedMetal

    Sometimes I can put my hole finger in my ear.. then I get sleepy

  • BruisedMetal

    w

  • Dirtman73

    Steve Urkel during his Scene/Black Metal days. It didn’t work out.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Joshua-Hunter/100001289132594 Joshua Hunter

    “YO VARG, IMMA LETCHA FINISH, BUT ADOLF HITLER WAS THE BEST ANTI-SEMITE OF ALL TIME!”

    joshlhunter@yahoo.com

    • Aaron R.

      ALSO a winner..

  • Sliv

    The Kvlt of Personality.

    • Conrad

      Awesome.

    • orbital

      i lol’d

    • BASSQUATCH

      +1! This made me roll out of bed laughing so hard

  • aj lucas

    burzum is a black metal band its not the super catchy scene phrase “Bygolly U R Zaztastic Urinating Me”

  • Brock Sterns

    There are no fingers in his ear. He is simply chattin with Gaahl on his cell.

    • Doc

      Very funny, yet somehow possible….

  • BruisedMetal

    What did you say talking finger? haha yeah I know he totally is!

  • You? Me?

    Who Knew that when Byron Davis lose’s weight he looks like a mix of Eddie Murphy and that weird guy for the Black Eye Peas who dance’s like his pant’s are on fire.

    God Forbid!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Skyler-Diotte/624920439 Skyler Diotte

    Black Man, Black Metal…. ahhhh yeeeaaaaaahhhhhh!

    skylerdiotte@hotmail.com

  • Derp

    Fucking hipsters.

  • Dan

    Kanye Owns Ye All

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/JT-OBrien/568906438 JT OBrien

    guess all those years of emotional abuse steve urkel finally went too the emo side purplepeopleeater18@hotmail.com

  • NONEMOREVILE

    Black metal is so politically incorrect. I prefer the term “African American metal”.

  • Al

    BRO-ZUM

  • http://multimedia-ami.deviantart.com/ amelia

    Burzum+ Black fan= doubly black metal, and
    Doubly black metal+scene hair≠ possible.

  • halloway

    Hipster metal is for nerds. Look at 2010 Steve Urkel.

  • Joe the Almighty

    his soul is as black as his skin.

    • Frampler

      So not black at all then, more a rich shade of brown?

  • BruisedMetal

    “Ladies holla!”

  • Malt Sootane

    ” yo this black metal shiyat is tight son; i gotta tell my boy BIVINS to cover this on one of his wal-mart breaks”

    • Major Zim

      OWNED +1

      • Malt Sootane

        lol i thought it was good too

  • BruisedMetal

    Wesley Snipes to play Lamar in Revenge Of The Nerds remake…. in 3D!

  • alex pak

    only if that were fucking real.

  • Craigford McNasty

    Seems like this guys got it all figured out. “Burzum” is Black Speech for “darkness”. Need I say more?

  • alex pak

    POO!

  • Etchelll

    The cover art for the new Venom album: BLACKER METAALLLL!!!!!

  • Nick

    so that’s where my BURZUM shirt went!
    nckprm@yahoo.com

  • http://www.twistedcritic.wordpress.com Chris

    The Fresh Corpse of Bel Air or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Irony

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Xavier-Luxenburg/506500897 Xavier Luxenburg

    For the new record, Bloc Party’s frontman decided to try something a little risque

  • http://Gnartallica.wordpress.com Ross Gnarly

    Abercrombie & Burzum

  • Kvltcommander

    Ya… Burzum… you probably never heard of them. *Flips Hair* *Smokes hand rolled cigarette*

    • ANON

      I would just like to tell you I love you.

  • KMFCM

    I actually did once meet a non-hipster black man in a Burzum shirt.

    yup.

    his friend was cracking on

  • KMFCM

    . . him about it too

  • Bill Wasserman

    What’s that Varg? You want me to burn down the school…ok!

    • Bill Wasserman

      What I meant to say was O-tay!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Duna-Salous/527287686 Duna Salous

    Evidently, some one didn’t get the memo about Varg’s new “revelation” . .

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Sam--Shereck/825474139 Sam Ψ Shereck

    “Burzum is great dude, what talented musicians!’

    heathenthrone@aim.com

  • Okasha

    This guy looks identical to Lightspeed Champion. (No witty comment haha.)

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jose-Rodriguez-III/1435762004 Jose Rodriguez III

      I thought the exact same thing when I first saw this.

      • http://www.segadriven.com Hairyman

        As someone mentioned above, it is!

  • This

    The black death.

  • triadicapathy

    “What? My favorite black metal band? Living Colour.”

  • J.J.

    Terrance Hobbs Of Suffocation On Vaction.

  • Marc

    the other day, i was bored enough to take a look at my facebook sidebar spam and it said “Metal Fans Are Nerds” I guess this is true

  • Yo Diggity

    Taking being ironic too far, this kid applied corpse paint styled in black face.

  • foobear

    How to make Varg hate Black Metal more than he already does

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Christopher-Green/658840006 Christopher Green

    “Blaque Metal”

    dichotomize@gmail.com

  • twistedfreak

    The Darkness is spreading…

  • Scott

    Varg just shit his pants.

  • canea

    Though Terrell would eventually graduate, he had to take Irony 101 three times before finally passing.

  • Hetallica

    \m/ PERM METAL!!! \m/

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Brad-Howarth/674963183 Brad Howarth

    damn, even the “can you hear me now?” guys job got outsourced

  • brad

    damn, even the “can you hear me now?” guys job got outsourced

    • brad

      my bad for the double post

  • J.J.

    Terrance Hobbs Of Suffocation Calling Adam D. to Get Directions to the” New Black Guy In Killswitch Engage” Auditions

  • Denton

    Black metal is, like, SO hot right now

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Gabriel-Orwig/1344939887 Gabriel Orwig

    Being a black hipster doesn’t make it okay to ironically like black metal

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/David-Hoefer/25511007 David Hoefer

    “Kill the Jews? Got it…but after the Dirty Projectors show.”

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Brendan-Earl-Grey-Seigel/1414603204 Brendan Earl Grey Seigel

    “What was that, Varg? I’m sorry, I can’t hear your hate over all this irony!”

  • buddha

    Recently being influenced by Burzum Eddie Murphy decided to make a newalbum with the single “Burning all the time”

    • buddha

      *new album

  • Vasteburai

    Badnegrofinger.

    And no I’m not racist. Negro as in Spanish for black. There.

  • Scourge441

    It’s okay, Varg only hates black people ironically.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ben-Robson/1375985482 Ben Robson

      lawl

    • troe

      +1!

    • Major Zim

      Took the words out of my mouth. epic win. +1

  • http://TheShamester Steve Selnick

    Vote or Die.

  • AddRokk

    Syphilisofem

    • troe

      More like FAILsofem…

      AMIRITE!?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jose-Rodriguez-III/1435762004 Jose Rodriguez III

    his mother kept telling him, “if you keep listening to black metal, you’ll get stuck like that…”

  • d.o.g.o.b.g.y.n.

    The politically correct term is ‘African-American Metal’, you dumb bunch of crackers.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Britt-Granitt/582086079 Britt Granitt

      1

  • SpeedBump
  • Argonaut 666

    Without reading any previous comments, I can guarantee there’s at least 12 regarding Urkel.

    • buddha

      Yes, Yes there are

  • gath

    pretty sure this guy was in a band in the uk called test icicles. even in hipster terms this is NOT a fresh look. gerard way meets mike smith?! who would’ve thought!

  • Sonsterpe

    What I heard from some sources that Black Metal ist Kreig

  • troe

    Upon receiving criticism for the original title of his latest album, Varg decided to try something a little more progressive.

    In other news: Varg’s head just exploded.

  • Cousin Skeeter
  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Richard-Michael-Christopher-Hall/1131120176 Richard Michael Christopher Hall

    stefan ürkel

  • Dude…

    Look its the new Oceano singer!!!!!!!

  • earthsherm

    ” Man, I can barely hear Timbaland on this new cd at all.”

  • Dwight Cobb

    I never knew that the term black metal was taken so seriously.

  • Vlygar

    Über-Hipster – Ironically wearing the shirt of a band that does not favor your race.

    vdeogmrlr@msn.com

  • thisisnotcarlos

    Fresh out of prison Lil’ Wayne prepares to release a black metal album.

  • Captain Blacklung

    Varg Vikernes white power rally in Mumbai left many unanswered questions.

  • Dr. Brazil

    This sounds nothing like Living Colour.

  • Shaman

    Did Varg do daaaaat?
    shamanphair@gmail.com

  • billy

    “OMG i just lost mi right ear… anyway these glasses, this wig and this shirt will get me out of this Nazi tribute..”

    billizmad@gmail.com

  • Dress to Depress

    Uncle Ruckus in his earlier days.

  • http://www.myspace.com/signorojoswe Kaffebaggel

    “Do i LISTEN to them?! Hell no! I only listen to irony maiden bro!”

  • BruisedMetal

    Kanye West in the remake of Back To School… in 3D!

  • Daviesbe

    Black Met… Oh wait, sorry – African – American metal

    • GKIII

      win.

  • DieByTheChord

    “Oh haiiii Vargie! Remember me? It’s your thell maaate, Ricky!! Hey, I’m out now too and wanted to see if you wanted to hook up thomet-”

    “Oh you’re so cute! Don’t worry, Vargie, discretion is my middle name, you thilly goose!!”

  • Josher

    Burzum; so easy a caveman could do it.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Zach-Emerson/100000040715583 Zach Emerson

    After the “VMA incident”….

  • JX

    burzum – fear of a black planet new album out now !

  • JX

    or I can see a new parody band forming – black burzum – fear of a white planet

  • slice two

    Wesley Willis inspired many.

  • Anthony Hoffman

    “Do I like black metal? Why yes, yes I do. You’re trying to be funny? I don’t get it.”

  • J

    Bur-zu-Mite!!!

    or Burzum Control to Major Tom, come in Major Tom. your too black out.. I mean far out.

  • John

    Let’s see him try to steal Varg’s VMA speech time!

    jkitch03@live.com

  • Lucas L8

    Burzum “Ziggy” Marley

  • KIllerdesigner

    DJ Lance Rock before the orange jumpsuit.

  • Kylemurder

    Count Grishnackh said what?????

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Kasper-Maigaard/1027001938 Kasper Maigaard

    OH U MAD?

  • KevinB

    What’chu talkin’ ’bout, Varg?

  • ferris

    “Burzum is associated with controversial views regarding WHAT?”

  • ferris

    Or:

    “As a card-carrying hipster, I was only wearing the the shirt to be mildly ironic. Now you tell me whaaaat?”

  • CheeseArm

    That beat in “Svarte troner” is tha shiznit!

  • TheDecimator

    After a surgery to restore his cred in the black metal scene, Varg is horrified to see that the plastic surgeon misinterpreted his request to be the blackest metal man ever.

  • Lycanthrope

    ‘Afro-Emo Ambient Hipster Neo-Nazi Black Metal’ – the only genre of music Summerian Records hasn’t signed yet

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Kyle-Heider/602520830 Kyle Heider

    Exactly 12 years after this picture was posted, an entire Polish suburb is woken up by the tortured shrieks of Rob Darken as his copy of AOL 3.0 finally loads this picture.

  • Johnny

    Tru3 Black Metal

  • Etchell

    Varg’s prison “buddy” finally comes forward in the new book “One Night in Grishnackh”

  • The Greys

    Timbaland’s brother, Reginald, is ready to produce the next great rock, hip-hop crossover album.

  • http://Zach Zach

    My t-shirt, it’s trying to tell me somthing.

  • RobotScythe

    Count Emonegro

  • Cameron Almasi

    And the new charictor to replace Steve Eurkle from the most shittiest 90s show… Steve Vikernes!

  • ben

    Yo Oystein, its me, your cousin Marvin Aarseth! You know that new sound you been looking for? Well listen to this!

  • loveapie

    Howard? Howard?!! It’s Marvin….your cousin Marvin Jones….you know that tr00 sound you’re looking for? Well listen to this!

    • loveapie

      Beaten by Ben

      • ben

        How funny is that.

  • cynic

    where is the material in this? its just a dude.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Brendan-Earl-Grey-Seigel/1414603204 Brendan Earl Grey Seigel

    “No, I’m not talking about Living Colour! This is Living Cölövr, it’s totes more br00ts”

  • Snarf

    Sanjaya goes metal

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Ian-Cairncross/1530102028 Ian Cairncross

    I’mma buy Varg a shank.

    surfnskian@sbcglobal.net

  • Biclops

    “I can’t hea-… you’re breaking up… what? You’re saying Varg is a bassist? Why would I care?”

    • Liz

      This one has me dying!

  • Conan

    A true Son of Northern Darkness.

  • CLIMACVS

    True Norwegian Black Metal?

  • earthsherm

    man, cmon guys. enough “black metal” jokes.

  • Permafrost

    Cheetah get tired of Tarzan’s bullshit. Cheetah leave jungle, go to Seattle, attend college and listen to Burzum like humans do.

  • JohnTheDrummer

    “This gives a whole new meaning to BLACK metal.”

  • FuneralAge

    “Living Colour is my favorite black metal band.”

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Chris-Carson/576351726 Chris Carson

    Tyrone Biggums, Burzum fan, Who knew?

  • Octillus

    Ur doing it wrong.

  • my couch pulls out but i don’t

    new sub-genre: kanye west-core.

  • http://reaper-x.deviantart.com/ Reaper-X

    Hipsters out of Metal just got a new columnist.

  • BruisedMetal

    Putting your finger too far into your ear can make you retarded

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Matt-Cooper/864625407 Matt Cooper

    Hipsters will listen to any music as long as not too many people have heard of it.

  • metallicbrian

    Burzizzum.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Joe-Maheux/682872935 Joe Maheux

    Actually, we prefer the term Colored Metal.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Amelia-Rupp/1269821017 Amelia Rupp

      haha

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/John-Kunsak/1481910220 John Kunsak

    My Chemical Burzmance!!!

  • Scott C

    Can’t wait to see the new Spike Lee joint…. “Do the Emo Thing”

  • Keaton

    I like dick

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Alex-Stewart/579127452 Alex Stewart

    Varg’s long lost twin

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Alan-Miller/710607007 Alan Miller

    An even funnier version of Dave Chappell being a blind black racist.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Cody-Popp/501886620 Cody Popp

    …I believe the correct term is African-American metal.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Tanner-Westhomas/1506171449 Tanner Westhomas

    The Crying Orc

  • http://www.heavymetal.co.nz heavymetalnz

    You mean I wasnt supposed to cover my whole face with paint?

  • 6infinite6hatred6

    Tosin Abasi: The Colllege Years

  • BruisedMetal

    Look out brain here comes my finger

  • Mrpeumo

    Can ya hear it mothafucka, itz Burzum in da house!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Mike-Taco-Bozzacco/678620036 Mike Taco Bozzacco

    Well this is an example of true black metal…or irony because I’m sure Varg hates black people and if that is the case then that guy hates himself…so therefore he is a hipster

  • Extra_Nina

    I guess this must be the end……

  • Cryzthormagnusian

    Rock over London, rock on Chicago.

    Wheaties, the breakfast of champions.

  • Konnor Lioumis

    Hey, Oliver Sykes finally made enough to get that skin pigmentation he always wanted.

  • Konnor Lioumis
  • tsniagaesir

    “Hello. You have reached Burzum’s customer service, how may I help you?”

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Emmanuel-Quinones/100000463639580 Emmanuel Quinones

    LATFH

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Steve-Gonzalez/1015444164 Steve Gonzalez

    “now why would i be a victim of two different hate crimes….”

  • Colin Cram

    If that dude is Indian, this gives a whole new meaning to True Aryan Black Metal.

  • Peter

    “I’m going to Disneyland!”

  • Den78

    “Jesus Christ? Nice Pose Spoonman”

  • Nick

    Steve Erkel on crack!!!