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31 DAYS OF FAITH NO MORE: CONCLUSION

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Spurred by a lazy crossword clue in The Onion (36 down, four letters: “Faith No More’s only hit”), MetalSucks contributor Anso DF dedicated every single day in August to celebration and exploration of the San Francisco alt-metal greats. Here we proved that history’s greatest band landed more than one commercial hit (crossword answer: “Epic” natch), we revelled in FNM’s embarrassing wealth of winning album tracks (themselves often fit for chart topping), and we dipped into the staggering best of the b-sides (ditto). Along the way, we surveyed the context of FNM’s big break (amid similarly seminal acts Jane’s Addiction, Nine Inch Nails, and Ween) to the post-Nevermind, panic-based music commerce in which the brilliantly versatile, fearless powerhouse band operated until their 1998 demise. It’s a dirty job, but someone’s gotta do it. So we did it. Thanks for reading!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nhWF12KjUAw

Song “Midnight Cowboy”

Written by John Barry (M).

Released 1992

Appears on Angel Dust album

Produced by Matt Wallace

Guitars by Jim Martin

Key lyric ””Weee-deee-dooo-doooo/Wahhh-dehhh-deyyy-deyyyy”

Single? No.

Conclusion As we mount up and ride off down the trail here at MetalSucks presents 31 Days Of Faith No More featuring Anso DF, we do so only reluctantly and only to the sounds of FNM’s reverent cover of an X-rated non-Western movie’s cowboy theme. It’s funny too cuz every Faith No More song is theme to a fully-formed movie just waiting to be made. Especially those on Angel Dust, an album that doesn’t conclude so much as slam shut and for which the band didn’t contrive a coda so much as borrow somebody else’s: “Midnight Cowboy.” Angel Dust is a lot of things: a relative of My Bloody Valentine’s Loveless and its own indisputable modern classic; a mix of metal and pop, a tour of the slim strip of real estate between serenity and derangement; a flagship for music’s adventurists onstage and off.

But in the wider view, Angel Dust and the FNM discography are a segue to “Epic.” See, I care about what is written in the annals of history. I care how bands like Faith No More are remembered — not so much opinion (good/bad) but perception (worthy of our attention or not). “Epic” will stick around thanks to its faint resemblance to a novelty hit; you’ll see it on countdowns and compilations. I’m happy about that. Plus, music tomes written by ass-covering rockists will give Angel Dust a nod, cheerz for that too. But I guess what I’m fretting about is status.

Status. It decides which bands are rammed down our throats by media, which are invested in for special shows and releases, which we learn the most about and speak of most often. Thusly, I want big boner status for Faith No More, the voice of the weirdos, their gift the knowledge that among their ilk are Billy Gould-sized songwriters and Mike Patton-shaped singers, hunky psychos and can-dented storytellers, thinkers and observers, mega-drummers, classical pianists, gays, dreads, shoelace eaters, and dork guitarists. Dudes who can play huge. Dudes who vex writers, enrage shit-peddlers, and punk TV hosts. Dudes who write aces like “The Real Thing” and “The Perfect Crime” and “Caffeine” and “The Last To Know.” Shit yeah.

That they validate cool weirdness is part of what puts Faith No More on America’s hard rock Mount Rushmore. The big reason is their music, natch, but it’s tough to verbalize that particular specialness. Permit me a story that might convey it symbolically: Like most people, I’ve needed to hide stuff from my family, friends, and gf. A lot. But I am a spacebrain, so it’s imperative that I employ a system to make hiding spots memorable, and association is foolproof: Into my Van Halen records I’ve folded naked lady pics and rubbers; slipped under the trays of Aerosmith CDs are phone numbers printed on joint papers and on pink notes; in college, I secreted a 9mm bullet in a broken South Of Heaven tape. But safeguarding my drugs was a task delegated to Faith No More cases, which is major cuz drugs are actively searched for at times; the other stashes must only discourage incidental discovery. You might see my point here: FNM is crazy like drugs and represents importance among importance. FNM is amazing at being amazing, the MVP on loud music’s championship team. Let it be known.

Cheerz to FNM fans Wow I learned a ton of fun stuff about FNM over this month, so thanks readers! Hugz to all who internet me @Anso DF with insights and gab and naked pics! Double bongloads to MetalSucks stud-in-chief Axl Rosenberg for his tireless, cheery editorial support! With FNM bassist Billy Gould I shall bump ballbagz cuz he shouted us out @MrGould and sorta on FNM.com! And mega-cheerz to all fans — let’s keep our big fat mouths working to land icon status for FNM! It’ll be our small victory!

Faith No More Billy Gould • Roddy Bottum • Mike Bordin • Mike Patton • Jon Hudson • Jim Martin • Chuck Mosley • Trey Spruance • Deen Menta

–ADF

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THE COMPLETE METALSUCKS’ 31 DAYS OF FAITH NO MORE

31 “Midnight Cowboy”

30 “Just A Man” (read)

29 “Pristina” (read)

28 “What A Day” (read)

27 “Epic” “Epic” “Epic” (read)

26 “Everything’s Ruined” (read)

25 “Underwater Love” (read)

24 “Crack Hitler” (read)

23 “Home Sick Home” (read)

22 “The Perfect Crime”!!!! (read)

21 “A Small Victory” (read)

20 “King For A Day” (read)

19 “The World Is Yours” (read)

18 “Absolute Zero” (read)

17 “Collision” (read)

Intermission “Das Schutzenfest” (read)

16 “The Last To Know” (read)

15 “The Real Thing” (read)

14 “Malpractice” (read)

13 ”Ugly In The Morning” (read)

12 “The Cowboy Song” (read)

11 “Helpless” (read)

10 “Smaller And Smaller” (read)

9 “Digging The Grave” (read)

“From Out Of Nowhere” (read)

“Last Cup Of Sorrow” (read)

6 “The Gentle Art Of Making Enemies” (read)

“Caffeine” (read)

“Falling To Pieces” (read)

“Stripsearch” (read)

2 ”Ricochet” (read)

1 ”Land Of Sunshine” (read)

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