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ARGUE ABOUT THIRTY SECONDS OF METALLICA/LOU REED’S LULU

 Sunday, September 18th, 2011 at 9:58am by

A thirty second sample of “The View,” one of the songs on Metallica and Lou Reed’s upcoming Lulu, is now available for streaming (below). And while it is, of course, horribly unfair to judge an album based on thirty seconds, I am now fully prepared to say that this record is going to suck.

The short description of the sample would be this: horrible, generic Metallica riff that sounds like any number of the horrible, generic riffs the band has made their name playing for the past fifteen years or so; Lou Reed doing spoken word poetry; Hetfield in full-on “Yea-AH!” Elvis mode singing; jaded blogger going back to sleep.

I don’t know if I’m even gonna have the energy to listen to this entire record. Life is too short for me to keep putting up with this crap just because Metallica were my favorite band twenty fucking years ago. Maybe their intentions are pure, but it doesn’t matter; clearly, we just have different visions for what we want out of the band. So let’s just call it “irreconcilable differences,” agree to share custody of Slayer, and finalize the divorce, alright?

Metallica/Lou Reed – “The View” (30 Second Sample)

Lulu comes out November 1 on Warner Bros.

-AR

[via Amazon... thanks to everyone who e-mailed this to us this morning.]

Tags: , ,
  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Eirik-Kjøs-Usterud/1067091137 Eirik Kjøs Usterud

    lol this album is going to be just as insane as the idea seemed

    I don’t know if it’ll be good but it will definitely be hilarious

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Eirik-Kjøs-Usterud/1067091137 Eirik Kjøs Usterud

    lol this album is going to be just as insane as the idea seemed

    I don’t know if it’ll be good but it will definitely be hilarious

    • Anonymous

      yeah, my initial response to this track was to bust out laughing. This sounds more like a charity project, with Lou Reed being the homeless man pulled out of the cold to feature on an album. Should’ve stuck to the soup kitchen. Bet he would have appreciated a meal more anyway. Fortunately for Metallica though, they can’t fall any lower in most fan’s eyes so not much lost here.

      • Huntermc

        Metallica must be trying to lower expectations for the remaining hardcore fans. That way, when the next album comes out we’ll go “at least it wasn’t as bad as that Lou Reed abortion!”

        I’m kidding, but if this teaser is any indication of the rest of the album, it’s pretty much what I was afraid was going to happen. Halfway decent Metallica with out-of-place Lou Reed warblings on top.

    • Anonymous

      yeah, my initial response to this track was to bust out laughing. This sounds more like a charity project, with Lou Reed being the homeless man pulled out of the cold to feature on an album. Should’ve stuck to the soup kitchen. Bet he would have appreciated a meal more anyway. Fortunately for Metallica though, they can’t fall any lower in most fan’s eyes so not much lost here.

  • http://theheaviestmatteroftheuniverse.com Jordan Munson

    Ahahahah, this sounds like a bad joke. It’s amazing.

    Can’t decide if serious or most hilarious trolling ever…

  • http://theheaviestmatteroftheuniverse.com Jordan Munson

    Ahahahah, this sounds like a bad joke. It’s amazing.

    Can’t decide if serious or most hilarious trolling ever…

  • http://theheaviestmatteroftheuniverse.com Jordan Munson

    Ahahahah, this sounds like a bad joke. It’s amazing.

    Can’t decide if serious or most hilarious trolling ever…

  • Graham Mitchell

    i really didn’t think Metallica could get any worse yet they’ve somehow managed to get exponentially suckier.  this is guaranteed to be a pile of horse crap.

  • Graham Mitchell

    i really didn’t think Metallica could get any worse yet they’ve somehow managed to get exponentially suckier.  this is guaranteed to be a pile of horse crap.

  • Graham Mitchell

    i really didn’t think Metallica could get any worse yet they’ve somehow managed to get exponentially suckier.  this is guaranteed to be a pile of horse crap.

  • You Don’t Know Me

    The spoken word part was weird. Too bad it cut off before the chorus though. It seemed to be picking up steam before the clip ended. I need to hear more before I dismiss it as garbage.

  • You Don’t Know Me

    The spoken word part was weird. Too bad it cut off before the chorus though. It seemed to be picking up steam before the clip ended. I need to hear more before I dismiss it as garbage.

  • You Don’t Know Me

    The spoken word part was weird. Too bad it cut off before the chorus though. It seemed to be picking up steam before the clip ended. I need to hear more before I dismiss it as garbage.

    • Kyle

      That’s what I thought. The last 5 seconds sounded promising. Jesus. That is such a pathetic thing to say. Clinging to 5 seconds. What is wrong with me? How many times am I going to let Metallica do this to me?

    • Kyle

      That’s what I thought. The last 5 seconds sounded promising. Jesus. That is such a pathetic thing to say. Clinging to 5 seconds. What is wrong with me? How many times am I going to let Metallica do this to me?

    • Kyle

      That’s what I thought. The last 5 seconds sounded promising. Jesus. That is such a pathetic thing to say. Clinging to 5 seconds. What is wrong with me? How many times am I going to let Metallica do this to me?

      • Anonymous

        They disappoint you because they love you.

  • brookhg

    Wow. that was fucking dreadful

    • Chris Barnes

      doodz this shit is so hard it makes hatebreed sound like creed. i want to mosh and headbang my head off. tallica is the best 4-eva. much love. rip dimebag.

  • brookhg

    Wow. that was fucking dreadful

  • spud

    It’s still better than Curl Of The Burl

    • Ninja Bike

      I killed a man because he killed my goat.

    • Ninja Bike

      I killed a man because he killed my goat.

    • http://www.heavyblogisheavy.com Alkahest

      Are you deaf?

  • spud

    It’s still better than Curl Of The Burl

  • spud

    It’s still better than Curl Of The Burl

  • Captainmegatron94

    Hopefully on their next album they start drinking again.

    • Poobah Bumswell

      Hopefully Metallica’s next album won’t happen at all.

  • Captainmegatron94

    Hopefully on their next album they start drinking again.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=527287686 Duna Salous

     . . .  

    Well after wasting 30 seconds of my life, I’d say it’s going to be a hit record and they’re going to make a bunch of fucking money on it. How sad. 

    • tytan

      Yeah, I can imagine it all over the radio.

    • tytan

      Yeah, I can imagine it all over the radio.

    • tytan

      Yeah, I can imagine it all over the radio.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=527287686 Duna Salous

     . . .  

    Well after wasting 30 seconds of my life, I’d say it’s going to be a hit record and they’re going to make a bunch of fucking money on it. How sad. 

  • Packymcpackerson

    i was prepared to give this a chance but after just 30 secs i can see that its going to be St. Anger with Lou Reed!! ugh!!!! 

  • Packymcpackerson

    i was prepared to give this a chance but after just 30 secs i can see that its going to be St. Anger with Lou Reed!! ugh!!!! 

  • http://diggin-graves.blogspot.com/ TheFool

    In Metallica’s defense, Amazon has historically selected the worst 30 seconds in the songs they sell.

    Crappy sample aside, this collaboration is still intriguing to me and I look forward to listening to the full thing–though I don’t have high hopes that I will be blown away.

  • http://diggin-graves.blogspot.com/ TheFool

    In Metallica’s defense, Amazon has historically selected the worst 30 seconds in the songs they sell.

    Crappy sample aside, this collaboration is still intriguing to me and I look forward to listening to the full thing–though I don’t have high hopes that I will be blown away.

  • Blackmetalsausage

    Why did they make it sound like metallica feat. Lou Reed speaking, they could have done something unique a worthwhile, but NOOOOOOOOO god forbid metallica do something interisting, musical, or remotly NOT sounding like metallica, i think we just got the fanboys to thank for how shitty this is going to be

    • Ceil

      God Forbid + Metallica?

      AWESOME IDEA!

      • Fred Durst

        I second this motion.

      • Fred Durst

        I second this motion.

    • Ceil

      God Forbid + Metallica?

      AWESOME IDEA!

  • Blackmetalsausage

    Why did they make it sound like metallica feat. Lou Reed speaking, they could have done something unique a worthwhile, but NOOOOOOOOO god forbid metallica do something interisting, musical, or remotly NOT sounding like metallica, i think we just got the fanboys to thank for how shitty this is going to be

  • Basslogic

    Life is too SHIRT for Axl

    • NaziPuncFO

      Grammar Nazi Strikes Again!!

    • NaziPuncFO

      Grammar Nazi Strikes Again!!

    • NaziPuncFO

      Grammar Nazi Strikes Again!!

  • Basslogic

    Life is too SHIRT for Axl

  • Asdfg

    Oh, wow. I was optimistic about this album, but honestly, this just sounds terrible. Of course we don’t know that the whole album will be like this, but if Lou’s ‘vocals’ (or spoken word parts) are that loud in the mix, the whole thing is just going to sound terribly unnatural.

  • AboveAverageJoe

    The worst thing about that was Lou Reed. I didn’t hear anything wrong with Metallica part in that sample.

    • Anonymous

      Other than Lars obnoxiously riding the crash symbol, and further demonstrating that he’s slowly unlearning the drums.

      • Kuranes

        I believe that’s properly said “slowly learning to un-play” the drums.

        • Anonymous

          Thanx pho dat.

        • Anonymous

          Thanx pho dat.

  • Asdfg

    Oh, wow. I was optimistic about this album, but honestly, this just sounds terrible. Of course we don’t know that the whole album will be like this, but if Lou’s ‘vocals’ (or spoken word parts) are that loud in the mix, the whole thing is just going to sound terribly unnatural.

  • Asdfg

    PS: Not to say Metallica isn’t guilty for agreeing to collaborate, but clearly the weakest link in that clip is Lou. His voice sounds so out of place over the music.

  • Asdfg

    PS: Not to say Metallica isn’t guilty for agreeing to collaborate, but clearly the weakest link in that clip is Lou. His voice sounds so out of place over the music.

  • Habib

    I still don’t get why Metallica couldnt just make a Metallica album and leave colaboration crap to Santana and Slash? At least the latter two had the decency to use someone different on each track.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1522601830 Liam Genghis Connors

      and both used Chris Cornell!!! Metallica and Chris… 

  • Habib

    I still don’t get why Metallica couldnt just make a Metallica album and leave colaboration crap to Santana and Slash? At least the latter two had the decency to use someone different on each track.

  • LeifMT

    Well, that was shit.

  • LeifMT

    Well, that was shit.

  • LeifMT

    Well, that was shit.

  • Sludgegnome

    just threw up a little.

  • Sludgegnome

    just threw up a little.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=506137459 Chuck Wagner

    “So let’s just call it “irreconcilable differences,” agree to share custody of Slayer, and finalize the divorce, alright?”

    Axl FTFW!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=506137459 Chuck Wagner

    “So let’s just call it “irreconcilable differences,” agree to share custody of Slayer, and finalize the divorce, alright?”

    Axl FTFW!

  • Vakarm

    Gee….did anybody ever thought the suck would stop with this collaboration? 

  • Vakarm

    Gee….did anybody ever thought the suck would stop with this collaboration? 

  • Vakarm

    Gee….did anybody ever thought the suck would stop with this collaboration? 

  • woah

    This may be worse than the new Morbid Angel album.

  • woah

    This may be worse than the new Morbid Angel album.

  • woah

    This may be worse than the new Morbid Angel album.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=9391234 Ryan Sean Heron

    the metallica part sounds fine. the lou reed part stinks.

    is it pathetic that I’m thinking that the sound and production quality is much better than death magnetic? I still feel like if death magnetic wasn’t mixed by a retarded monkey it woulda been really good

    • Huntermc

      I can’t stand to listen to the official CD. Just download the Guitar Hero remaster version, you can actually hear the separation between the instruments instead of a wall of clipping distortion.

    • Huntermc

      I can’t stand to listen to the official CD. Just download the Guitar Hero remaster version, you can actually hear the separation between the instruments instead of a wall of clipping distortion.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=9391234 Ryan Sean Heron

    the metallica part sounds fine. the lou reed part stinks.

    is it pathetic that I’m thinking that the sound and production quality is much better than death magnetic? I still feel like if death magnetic wasn’t mixed by a retarded monkey it woulda been really good

  • http://twitter.com/thejamminjabber thejamminjabber

    Shit sandwich.

  • http://twitter.com/thejamminjabber thejamminjabber

    Shit sandwich.

  • Dan Burton

    There is nothing to argue about. It’s just shit. Why do they fucking bother ?

  • Dan Burton

    There is nothing to argue about. It’s just shit. Why do they fucking bother ?

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Grendyl-Bayn/100000548862789 Grendyl Bayn

    i’m hoping that this album has some badass tracks that knock me off my feet because this, well, this doesn’t help hold a lot of faith.  and lou reed’s voice doesn’t fit with the music at all.  i feel let down and disappointed like i did on christmas morning when santa left my dead father under the tree

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Grendyl-Bayn/100000548862789 Grendyl Bayn

    i’m hoping that this album has some badass tracks that knock me off my feet because this, well, this doesn’t help hold a lot of faith.  and lou reed’s voice doesn’t fit with the music at all.  i feel let down and disappointed like i did on christmas morning when santa left my dead father under the tree

  • RomuluXX

    Two words: Shit. Sandwich.

  • RomuluXX

    Two words: Shit. Sandwich.

  • RomuluXX

    Two words: Shit. Sandwich.

  • http://www.facebook.com/mike.reagan Mike Reagan

    Worse than St. Anger

  • http://www.facebook.com/mike.reagan Mike Reagan

    Worse than St. Anger

  • anon

    Life is too shirt.

  • anon

    Life is too shirt.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=651217112 Paul Stella

    “Life is too shirt”

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=651217112 Paul Stella

    “Life is too shirt”

  • Fred Durst

    I was being strangely optimistic about this album, despite typically being more of a pessemistic asshole than Axl is (<3u brah); but this isn't much of a surprise.

    Fuck, I liked the Black Album, the Loads, Death Magnetic, and even found some redeeming qualities in St. Anger. This is just crap.

  • Fred Durst

    I was being strangely optimistic about this album, despite typically being more of a pessemistic asshole than Axl is (<3u brah); but this isn't much of a surprise.

    Fuck, I liked the Black Album, the Loads, Death Magnetic, and even found some redeeming qualities in St. Anger. This is just crap.

  • Tomarquillo

    It’s as if they are trying to be as horrible as possible…Job well done.

  • Tomarquillo

    It’s as if they are trying to be as horrible as possible…Job well done.

  • MatIx

    Wow. I don’t know what to think. Maybe they’re purposely releasing the worst part of the album to drop expectations before release so once the album comes out it surprises people? I don’t know..

    I’ll just go back to listening to Taake.

  • MatIx

    Wow. I don’t know what to think. Maybe they’re purposely releasing the worst part of the album to drop expectations before release so once the album comes out it surprises people? I don’t know..

    I’ll just go back to listening to Taake.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1460316186 Tiziano Gennari

    it sucks… like incredibly bad

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1460316186 Tiziano Gennari

    it sucks… like incredibly bad

  • idk

    Will still probably be less shitty than Deconstruction.

  • idk

    Will still probably be less shitty than Deconstruction.

  • idk

    Will still probably be less shitty than Deconstruction.

    • Fred Durst

      Deconstruction is Devin Townsend’s best solo album.

      • ColinJ

        It’s not, but thanks for sticking up for it.

        • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000513072818 Jeremy Schnoor

          You suck.

      • ColinJ

        It’s not, but thanks for sticking up for it.

      • ColinJ

        It’s not, but thanks for sticking up for it.

    • Fred Durst

      Deconstruction is Devin Townsend’s best solo album.

    • Darth Brooks

      How the FUCK you gonna hate on that album?!

  • Razzo

    Yes, life is definitely too shirt.

  • Razzo

    Yes, life is definitely too shirt.

  • Razzo

    Yes, life is definitely too shirt.

  • The_I

    The clip is a little to shirt to really judge, but holy shit. I’m so embarrassed that I thought this would actually be good. Fuck this noise.

  • The_I

    The clip is a little to shirt to really judge, but holy shit. I’m so embarrassed that I thought this would actually be good. Fuck this noise.

  • http://www.facebook.com/davidscandura David Scandura

    All hopes I had of this collaboration being something worthwile have just been flushed down the toilet.

  • http://www.facebook.com/davidscandura David Scandura

    All hopes I had of this collaboration being something worthwile have just been flushed down the toilet.

  • Friendman

    I mean, Metallica sounded good

  • Friendman

    I mean, Metallica sounded good

  • Friendman

    I mean, Metallica sounded good

  • http://www.facebook.com/drew.webb2 Drew Webb

    Holy crap this is hilarious, tears in my eyes!
    Thanks for the laugh Metallica!

  • http://www.facebook.com/drew.webb2 Drew Webb

    Holy crap this is hilarious, tears in my eyes!
    Thanks for the laugh Metallica!

  • http://www.facebook.com/drew.webb2 Drew Webb

    Holy crap this is hilarious, tears in my eyes!
    Thanks for the laugh Metallica!

  • The Uncool Guy Down the Hall

    Metallica Machine Music

  • The Uncool Guy Down the Hall

    Metallica Machine Music

  • The Uncool Guy Down the Hall

    Metallica Machine Music

  • Lukinzine
  • http://heavymetalist.com

    I don’t get the Lou Reed bit, sounded weird… And in Metallica’s defense didn;t Lou Reed write the music as well?

    I’m not gonna judge until I hear all of it..

  • http://heavymetalist.com

    I don’t get the Lou Reed bit, sounded weird… And in Metallica’s defense didn;t Lou Reed write the music as well?

    I’m not gonna judge until I hear all of it..

  • http://heavymetalist.com

    I don’t get the Lou Reed bit, sounded weird… And in Metallica’s defense didn;t Lou Reed write the music as well?

    I’m not gonna judge until I hear all of it..

  • internet hardass

    ok, im calling it right now. this is a joke, they are just messing with us

  • internet hardass

    ok, im calling it right now. this is a joke, they are just messing with us

  • Djangus Khan

    Almost as awkward as Marianne Faithfull

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=811105556 Abdallah Hamidavi

    Wow. That was fucking terrible. The music sounded like shit, lou reed didnt fit at all, and the mix on that was just terrible. Everything about this was fucking terrible. Worst 30 seconds of my life. 

  • Magnifishit

    Anyone else think Lou sounds like a 60 year old Henry Rollins?

    • Tone

      No. Even a 60 year old Rollins would sound 10 times more masculine.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jay-Johnson/100001321441701 Jay Johnson

        Maybe a 75 year old rollins…

  • Adam Clark52

    I wonder if the whole album is just going to be Lou Reed rambling over Metallica with the odd Hetfeild chorus or if he’s going to attempt to sing.  

  • Adam Clark52

    According to WIkipedia (I know you can’t believe everything on that site, but this time I do) this album is over 70 minutes long…and three songs are over 10 minutes…uhh

  • Vom666

    im honestly not trolling when i say i kinda liked it

  • Anal Refuge

    Agreed,this is complete shit.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Corey-Mitchell/660352330 Corey Mitchell

    Is this new IWABO?

  • Laslow Panaflex

    You guys need to make a Metalsucks “Life is too Shirt” tee shirt… I’d buy it…

  • Anonymous

    If only this was evidence that they had a sense of humor…

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000513072818 Jeremy Schnoor

    I like bananas.

  • Ryanfosterdesign

    You guys are usually pretty fair about new music… But seriously… 30 seconds and you think its the worst thing ever made, ever? Come on… They’re doing something no one has done before, mixing the two totally different genres. That’s more than 99% of musicians can say today. It’s not about being “metal”, its about being an artist, a musician.

    • Festernaecus

      No, no, you’re right. No one has ever mixed two totally different genres before.

  • Anal Refuge

    I defended this band long enough,i even told Axl i wish he dies in front of his parents.I don’t know what to say anymore that 30 sec was worst than St.Anus.Corporate fuks !!!!!

  • Panglos

    I’ve listened to it 5 times already. I think it is going to be bigger than Rebecca Black.

  • http://www.superloud.net superLOUD.net

    I like the article title. Not much to argue about though. It sucks. It did sound like maybe something better was going to happen when the chorus hit, but yeah this is looking like a train wreck.

  • emetal

    sounds like they just wanted to write a song with lou reed to say that they wrote a song with lou reed.
    fuck what it sounds like OMFG LOU REED I LOVE ADVENTURE LAND

  • Kunglu

    Wow that sucked. No wonder Slayer stole the show at the big 4. 

  • cougar party

    Sounds like that douche from Cake is doing the spoken word part.  Not sure why they chose a this part of a song to release.  Sounds like it’s going to suck.

  • Pete Hagen

    St Anger meets The Raven.  Just like I jokingly hoped it would be….

  • Disagree

    I liked it better when it was called Rollins Band,

  • Anonymous

    They probably should refrain from releasing these samplers if they want anyone to buy/listen to this album. Maybe they’ll get more idiots to buy into the hype.

  • BL

    “You worship someone who actively despises you.”

    And in that one line, Lou Reed sums up the average Metallica fan’s experience of the last 20 years. 

  • BL

    “You worship someone who actively despises you.”

    And in that one line, Lou Reed sums up the average Metallica fan’s experience of the last 20 years. 

  • Dave Mustaine loves Jesus

    I wish I could get in a time machine and go back to the release date of Load and tell everyone “Stop complaining, they get much much shittier.”

  • Dave Mustaine loves Jesus

    I wish I could get in a time machine and go back to the release date of Load and tell everyone “Stop complaining, they get much much shittier.”

  • Steverazorberry

    For the love of all that is good and just….SOMEONE PLEASE STOP THIS!

  • Kurdt’s last shotgun shell

    Irrefutable proof that there is no God:1.-Hitler2.-Stalin3.-Metallica w/Lou Reed

  • Mitchell

    In a word? YIKES

  • Curmudgeon

    It’s not sooooo bad, just that the spoken word part doesn’t fit with the riff at all.

  • Curmudgeon

    It’s not sooooo bad, just that the spoken word part doesn’t fit with the riff at all.

  • Loadedgun28

    I thinks its about time that James formed a new band (side project) with people who would inspire him to write good music again. He seems to have some form of writers block because a lot of his riff are starting to sound a little re hashed.

  • Kromp

    Lol all u haters need to grow up and get with the times, the 80s are long over and its about time you realised it.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Jay-Johnson/100001321441701 Jay Johnson

    I Just listened to the full version of this song…Honestly, this is the most interested in Metallica I’ve been since grade 9…Someone should come up with some other hysterically mismatched collaborations for artists well out of their prime, Like a Slayer/Leonard Cohen collab, or a Anthrax/Bob Dylan multimedia trilogy mixed by Dangermouse and Phil Spector (fon special government release from prison).

  • Shhgf

    Wow- so don’t buy the cd.who says you have to buy every cd a band comes out with?

  • http://piercingmetal.com/wordpress/ Ken Pierce

    Wow that is thirty seconds, it felt much longer.  I cannot imagine this release being all that good and wonder who thought this was an incredible idea.  Would I hit a concert of this for journalistic purposes?  Of course but that would be to get traffic to the site but I don’t think it would intrigue me.

  • Anonymous

    This will be an all time new low for Metallica. Hell Load/Reload will now be looked upon as good Metallica albums. You can listen to the entire “song” on their site:
    http://www.loureedmetallica.com

    What a POS

  • former metallica defender

    I used to think st. Anger was simply benign neglect for die hard fans… now I believe they are intentionally screwing us. BALLS Metallica! Complete BALLS!

  • Dmhynick

    This is just Garbage. Absolute trash. Someone call the governor. This isn’t right.

  • Stew

    the whole album is now open for listening to on the albums site.. needless to say this one wont be purchased