MetalSucks

First of all, please allow me to begin by saying that I AM SO FUCKING SICK OF HEARING ABOUT MICHAEL JACKSON. Yes, I know I wrote about him too, but that was the day after he moonwalked the bucket – it’s been ENOUGH ALREADY. He died. He was talented, and he was crazy. It’s a little sad, but for for Christ’s sake, let’s keep some perspective here. There are much, much more important things going on in the world right now than the passing of the King of Pop. And besides, if I hear fucking “Billie Jean” one time, I’m going to slaughter every living soul in sight.

That being said… I had to post this. Yes, Buckethead is a weird, weird dude, and his obsessions with both Jackson and Disneyland are borderline-creepy. But he’s also a genius, and his tribute to Jackson, “The Homing Beacon,” is a beautiful piece of music. So just try to ignore that it’s one -gazillionth unnecessary tribute to MJ and just enjoy it as a wonderful bit of guitar playing.

You can stream “The Homing Beacon” here.

-AR

Directly from the horse’s mouth comes the news that “guitarist n’ songwriter [emphasis added to point out mental retardation] Dj Ashba… officially replaces current NIN guitarist Robin Finck” in Guns N’ Roses. “Once Dj’s name was in the hat, the hat disappeared!!” benevolent dictator Axl Rose exclaims, doing his best impersonation of my Uncle Morty.

Showing that Rose at least has a sense of humor, the statement concludes: “Now, one step closer to the abyss, Ashba joins a band who’s all time roster is nearly as long as it’s [sic] founder Axl Rose’s rap sheet!” Oh, Axl, you scamp.

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After weeks of wondering why the fuck Axl Rose was doing nothing to promote Chinese Democracy (which is selling poorly, to put it mildly), early this morning “The Howard Hughes of Rock” added another bizarre chapter to his ongoing saga by answering fans’ questions on the message boards for popular GN’R fan sites Here Today… Gone to Hell! and MyGNR.com (Under the username “Dexter,” because he’s apparently a fan of the television show and has named his cat after the titular serial killer. Seriously.).

Aside from what his reputation may have led us to believe, this was not a Dubya-like pre-planned press conference, and Rose didn’t appear offended by a variety of questions actually worth asking (e.g., Why did the album take so long?, Why did the old band break-up?, etc.). That being said, his answers were typically enigmatic, strange, and, in some cases, unsatisfactory, and anyone who thinks this “promotion” will help sales of the album is kidding themselves – casual fans may hear about this unexpected happening, but it can’t possibly have the same effect as, say, a Rolling Stone cover.

That being said, I don’t think it was Rose’s intention to boost sales* so much as it was simply to communicate, in whatever capacity, with the hardcore fans that continue to hold a candle for him. And that’s actually commendable. You could argue that communicating with fans is what Rose is supposed to do and that patting him on the back for this “interview” of sorts is like rewarding someone for not breaking the law; but the GN’R faithful can give Trekkies a run for their money in the “inappropriately passionate” department, and why rain on their parade? They’ve put up with a lot of shit over the years and deserve this little ray of sunshine.

After the jump, read some of the more interesting Q&As from Rose and his fans, including info on an upcoming video, the (seemingly) already planned re-release of Chinese Democracy, the next GN’R album, and more.

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With seemingly every band in the world reuniting right now, it seemed like it was only a matter of time ’til the members of Faith No More decided to tour again. Frankly, there’s just too high a possibility of making a lot of money not to do a reunion tour. I know that’s crass, but we’re all big boys and girls here at MetalSucks so let’s just be real and admit that “We thought playing together again would be fun” is not the driving reason behind most of these reunions.

But I digress.

SO. Kerrang! is reporting this rumor that FNM are, indeed, now getting back together in ‘09, and that venues have even been put on hold, etc. Bassist/guy-who-gets-asked-about-being-in-FNM-more-than-anyone-else-who-isn’t Mike Patton, Billy Gould, has been tacitly denying the reunion, but in a manner which I personally find about as convincing as Pamela Anderson’s breasts.

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HOLY FUCKING SHIT, have you guys read the liner notes for this fucking thing? “Produced by Axl Rose and Caram Costanzo. Mixed by Andy Wallace, Caram Costanzo and Axl Rose. Final Mixing: Caram Costanzo and Axl Rose.” “Additional production and preproduction by Roy Thomas Baker.” “Additional Production: Sean Beaven.” “Additional and/or initial Engineering.” Those are just the whole album credits. Each song gets its own “initial production” credit, too, and, in one instance, an “initial arrangement by” shout out. The phrase “reamped, edited and engineered” appears at least twice. Fourteen recording studios are listed, spread out over four cities on two continents. There’s no fewer than five guitarists (six if you count Rose himself), two keyboard players (three if you count Rose), two drummers, and two composer/orchestrators cited (The fact that only one bass player, Tommy Stinson consistently plays on the album seems like something of a marvel… oh, wait, that Chris Pitman dude everyone calls “Mother Goose” for some reason plays bass on “If the World.” Nevvvvvvermind.). Donatella Versace, Kid Rock, Lars Ulrich, and Mickey Rourke are all thanked, alongside guys with names like “Mookie” and “Worm.” THERE’S A CREDIT FOR “LOGIC.” I DON’T EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT THE FUCK THAT MEANS. IS THERE A COMPUTER PROGRAM CALLED “LOGIC” OR ARE PEOPLE ACTUALLY BEING CREDITED WITH SUPPLYING SOME LOGIC????????

I’m not making this shit up. I couldn’t make this shit up. Oh, to be a fly on the wall during the recording of Chinese Democracy! It must have made the production of Apocalypse Now seem like a long weekend on Fire Island.

But here’s the thing: as incredibly, insanely, undeniably fascinating as all that shit is, it really has nothing to with any critical analysis of the album.

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We haven’t spent all that much time talking about the impending release of Chinese Democracy, which is now just ten days away from finally hitting stores. Here’s a quick round-up of some the shit that’s been going down in the world of Axl Rose:

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Well, it was only a matter of time: yet another song from Axl Rose’s revamped Guns N’ Roses has leaked online, and, as usual, it’s surrounded in some mystery: it would seem obvious that the song is “Shackler’s Revenge,” which is scheduled to appear on the new edition of the Rock Band video game next month… bu the mp3 is actually labeled “Chicken Dinner.” Could this be some sick joke by a misguided Buckethead fan (the guitar playing on the track is pretty clearly by the former GN’R guitarist)?

Anyway, some of the vocals during the verse sound nothing like Axl, but that’s clearly him kickin’ it on the chorus, which, as Vince just said to me, is kinda alt-rock – but in a majorly catchy way.

So what does this mean in the major scheme of things, Chinese Democracy-wise? Probably nothing. More updates as we get ‘em.

-AR

So Ozzy is apparently gonna make another record… and it seems like just yesterday that I listened to Black Rain once and decided I never needed to listen to it again. Since the Oz Man hasn’t really recorded anything worth anyone’s time since 1991’s No More Tears, I thought I’d offer my expertise (read: complete fucking arrogance) and make some suggestions to ensure that this new album doesn’t make me long for the day when I read the headline that Jack Osbourne finally offed his entire family.

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So a couple of weeks ago Michael Anthony spilled that beans that he and former Van Halen cohort Sammy Hagar “are working on a new project with a couple of good friends.” At the time, I joked that perhaps they were teaming up with Slash, Duff McKagan and Matt Sorum to form Velvet Hagarevolver, a force more powerful than Voltron or, at the very least, Toto.

In point of fact, the reality is much, much worse.

Blabbermouth has now confirmed the rumor we’ve all been hearing from the get-go, which is that the other members of the group are Red Hot Chili Peppers drummer Chad Smith and Joe Satriani. And they’ve settled on the band moniker “Chickenfoot.”

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We’ve been hearing rumors that Axl Rose might follow in Radiohead and NIN’s footsteps and give away Chinese Democracy for free. But it now appears that Rose will top those artists with the ability to give away free sodas, as well.

Yes, you read that correctly. If Chinese Democracy comes out this year, we’ll get free sodas, too.

Blabbermouth [via CNN] reports:

“Tired of a world in which Americans idolize wannabe singers and musicals about high schoolers pass as rock ‘n roll music, Dr Pepper is encouraging (ok, begging) Axl Rose to finally release his 17-year-in-the-making belabored masterpiece, Chinese Democracy, in 2008.

“In an unprecedented show of solidarity with Axl, everyone in America, except estranged GN’R guitarists Slash and Buckethead, will receive a free can of Dr Pepper if the album ships some time — anytime! — in 2008. Dr Pepper supports Axl, and fully understands that sometimes you have to make it through the jungle before you get it right.

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Come on, it doesn’t get much better. Think he drew it himself? [Idolator]

-VN