MetalSucks

After the antics of the first day of the festival, I felt more than ready to get into day two with a healthy dose of music from the beginning. Unfortunately, that was not to be so for me, as at the time I thought I would be continuing on after SXSW into further ridonkulousness, all the way to a family vacation during Spring Break in Mexico….and today was the day that my renewed passport was meant to be FedExed to the flophouse where Vince and I were crashing.

When I had returned to said flophouse the night prior and to my surprise found an open couch in the living room right by the front door (where I was told FedEx homeboy would appear bright and early), I figured it prolly made the most sense to sleep right there on the ground floor as opposed to the stank upstairs sweat lodge where I would be sure to miss any sounds of door knocking.

Sadly, no FedEx arrived in the morning as promised — I was actually awoken by a phone call from Vince around noon wondering where the hell I had ended up last night. After a couple more hours my passport finally arrived, at which point I had to wait at least another hour for a cab to take me down to the action.

HOLY SHIT.

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I’d imagine the marketing meeting for the new vocal technique DVD The Art of Screaming went down something like this:

Marketing Exec 1: This new DVD The Art of Screaming is going to be a big hit! Gangbusters! Kids just love screaming in music these days.

Marketing Exec 2: It’s amazing! We’ll rope in the guy with the reverse-mohawk from Alien Ant Farm… That’ll really get the kids on board!

Intern (quitely, from corner): Umm… You guys, you know, there’s this other vocal instruction DVD by a pretty famous vocal coach Melissa Cross. It’s called The Zen of Screaming. You know, um, maybe we should change the name, or something. Umm…

Marketing Exec 1 (scratches head): Hmmm… kid’s got a point…

Marketing Exec 2: I’ve GOT it! We’ll call it the ART of Screaming! Because it’s like, there’s a real ART to it, you know?

Marketing Exec 1: Brilliant! I love it. Intern, get Vinny Boombatz at Hot Topic on the phone for me, will ya? We’ll make millions!

Marketing Exec 2: Did you say “millions”?

Intern: (hangs head)

Anyway, check out the trailer for the new DVD below, featuring a surprisingly hasidic looking Troy Sanders of Mastodon.

-VN