MetalSucks

Ok, ok, fine, THIS is quite obviously the worst tour ever. But the recently announced lineup for Cruefest 2 is giving it a run for its money; Godsuck, Theory of a Deadsuck, Saving Abel (no less sucky, but left “suck”-less here for clarity’s sake) and Drowning Suck will support the ever-fading but still marginally credible Motley Crue.

Funny story about Saving Abel. I was invited to a showcase for the band on the roof of their record label’s building, and before the band played their manager slipped up and introduced them as “Saving Label.” Whoops!

Anyway, the Crue seem to have acknowledged that the only fans who will still patronize their umpteenth reunion tour are the whitest of the whitey white trash; fitting then that they’ve titled this year’s tour “The White Trash Circus.”

Click to read more…

Faith No Mania continues!

Following the news that the legendary Faith No More are, in fact, reuniting, it has just been announced that they will headline the opening night of this year’s Download Festival in the UK. Slipknot and Def Leppard will headline the following nights.

Oddly enough, the FNM-inspired nu-metal acts that Mike Patton has repeatedly professed hatred for, Korn and Limp Bizkit, will play earlier that same day.

Will Patton make fun of Fred Durst from the stage? Will Nikki Sixx throw a fit that Motley Crue’s umpteenth tour isn’t nearly as newsworthy? Can FNM’s performance even possibly live up to expectations? I guess we’ll have to wait and find out.

On a side note: I know some non-European readers have been freaking out because the band allegedly has no plans to tour the rest of the world right now. All I can say is: chill. We have it from a good source that this reunion is going to last quite awhile. Just be patient.

-AR

First Maynard, now this.

Look: I fucking love Vegas. I was there for New Year’s once and I think I had pretty much the best fucking night of my life.

But part of what’s so fun about that town is how friggin’ ridiculous everything is; it can’t be taken seriously at all, and if you try to take it seriously, you’ll probably just give yourself an aneurysm. As a place to go spend a couple of days drunk and act like a total dip shit, I think Las Vegas is just swell – but I think if I had to live in there, I’d kill myself.

Click to read more…

MetalSucks Maniac Matt Fields sent us the below clip this morning, bringing up all sorts of repressed demons I’d been trying to forget for years. I can’t say I’m at all surprised that Tommy Lee agreed to play with these douche chills – after all, Lee is an even bigger whore than Pamela Anderson – but I gotta ask: Why, Halford, why?!?!

-AR

Am I the only who finds Vince Neil’s recent statement that when playing live he tries sing as true to the records as possible completely ludicrous?

You have to really enjoy what you’re doing and try to deliver the songs to the people out there the way they want to hear it. I try to stay as close to the records as possible because I hate going to see a singer who sings it differently. It drives me crazy.

I guess the operative word here is “try.” Anyone who’s seen Vince Neil perform live knows that when he isn’t holding out the mic over the audience to let the crowd do his job for him, his completely winded fat ass is half-assing his way through every third word.

When asked for comment on the matter, Motley Crue drummer Tommy Lee simply said, “Yeeeeahh boooyyyy!”

-VN

[ The Desert Post Weekly]

Remember when Papa Roach front dude Jacoby Shaddix was calling himself “Coby Dick?” Jesus fucking Christ.

ANYWAY, coming from this band, I would’ve assumed a song called “Hollywood Whore” would be autobiographical, perhaps telling the story of four not especially talented dudes who maintain a steady career in the music biz by aping whatever trend is hot at the moment. Instead, it’s the kind of pop metal portrait of scuzzy life on the Strip that Nikki Sixx specializes in, only without all that “really catchy” baggage. And those lyrics? Oh. My. Gawd. I’m so sure that Paris Hilton is, like, so totally offended.

Wowza. Check out the auto-tune on those backing vocals.

-AR

It was a crazy week at the MS Mansion. Vince passed out in the bathroom after a 48 hour coke binge only to be awakened by Axl, whom, after coming home that morning from a strip club with The Blogronaut and Dallas, was viciously attacked by a bunch of angry Hinder fans stalking him outside the MS Mansion gates. Actually, none of that happened. But here’s what did:

• Axl offered up a bounty on Hinder’s Austin Winkler.
• Chinese Democracy leaked, and almost two decades of waiting finally ended.
• Whitechapel became the new controversial band du’jour.
• The Faceless killed it on the Soundscan charts.
• Today Is the Day’s Steve Austin’s house almost burned down.
• A video of a fat kid singing along to Dimmu Borgir. Nuff said.
• Vince went Jew on Jew with Genghis Tron’s Mookie Singerman, only to find out he’s not as Jewish as he once claimed.
• Tommy Lee reformed Methods of Mayhem and Vince Neil announced plans for another solo record, sans Steve Stevens. We scratched our heads.

We’ll see you next week, albeit it’ll be an abbreviated one due to the Thanksgiving holiday here in the U.S. Toodles.

DUDE. Okay, seriously. What the fuck is going on this week? First Tommy Lee announces he’s reforming Methods of Mayhem, and now Vince Neil has announced he’s making another solo album (And, no, Steve Stevens won’t be on it – I checked.). What’s next? Is Nikki Sixx gonna make another Sixx A.M. album?

Wait – WHAT?!

Well fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck. It’s enough to make you want Motley Crue to keep touring.

-AR

P.S. Okay, but seriously, I’d love to see a Mick Mars side project called Mars Attacks!, and I’d love for its debut album to be entitled Creepy Human Statue. I’d give that album an automatic five out five horns.

YEEEEEEAAAAAHHHH BOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. Check it. Tizommy Lizee is bringing back Methods of Mayhem for real, yo. It’s been too long, playa. When’d the last MOM disc drop? Like ‘01, ‘02? Yooooo, that shit was HOT, son. “Get, g-get naked!” Peeps been waitin’ for a new MOM album like it was a free bj n’ shit. Tommy Lee! Givin’ da people what dey want! YEEEEEAAAHHHH BOYYYYYYY! Get down wit this shit, muthfucka!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yo, I gots to go find TiLo. Peace out, homie.

-AR

First thing’s first: Axl and I are going to see AC fucking DC at Madison Square fucking Garden tonight. HOLY SHIT! Big thanks to the folks who hooked us up with tickets; you know who you are!

AC/DC also happens to have just released their own Rock Band “Track Pack,” a standalone video game available for around $40 featuring AC/DC’s legendary 1991 Live at Donington concert. This pretty much seals the deal for Rock Band as the instrument-based video game of choice for metalheads and hard rock fans; the list of available full albums already includes Judas Priest’s Screaming for Vengeance, Megadeth’s Peace Sells… but Who’s Buying?, Rush’s Moving Pictures and Dr. Feelgood by Mötley Crüe. They’ve only got one Metallica song (”Enter Sandman”), but we’ll overlook that for now.

If we get a gaming system for the MetalSucks Mansion I’d definitely go for Rock Band, if only because playing the drums is so fucking fun. But we’d have to place a moratorium on drunk girls singing, because this is always, always annoying.

So Nikki Sixx has had his girlfriend, the insanely irritating Kat Von D., tattoo Motley Crue guitarist Mick Mars onto his knee. Apparently he chose the knee to taunt Mick, who cannot, in fact, bend his own knee anymore.

I assume Nikki chose Mick and not one of his other bandmates because Mick has never challenged him or do anything to threaten his time in the spotlight. In any case, look for Tommy and Vince to get tats of one another and not Nikki in retaliation.

-AR

[via Blabbermouth]

The folks at Some E-Cards nail it once again.

-VN

[Thanks: metalgf]

So who watched the debate last night? Pretty early on I decided I was gonna take a bong rip every time Sarah Palin used the word “maverick,” and about 120 seconds later I was higher than I’ve ever been, which is saying something. So… thanks Sarah Palin!

Speaking of mavericks, you should all know who Larry Charles is – and not just because he has a fantastic beard. He was/is an executive producer and writer for such shows as Seinfeld, Curb Your Enthusiasm and Entourage, has directed the Borat feature film (And the Bill Maher-hosted documentary Religulous, which just opened today. I haven’t seen it yet but I hear it’s as hilarious as Borat and twice as incendiary.). Charles was also slated to helm the feature film version of The Dirt, the autobiography of mavericks Motley Crüe – but now Charles says that ain’t happening. That’s old news, but Charles’ insight into why the movie isn’t getting made right now is actually pretty fuckin’ cool. He tells Coming Soon:

Click to read more…

No booze at a Motley fucking Crue show? Jesus fucking Christ. That must be like having sex with a condom made of nails.

Click to read more…

Nikki Sixx’s side project, SIXX: A.M., have just released a video for the track “Tomorrow” from their critically acclaimed album The Heroin Diaries. For those of you who have been living under a rock, The Heroin Diaries is a soundtrack to Sixx’s autobiography of the same name – sort of like how Saints of Los Angeles is a soundtrack “loosely” based on the Motley Crüe book The Dirt, except not exactly. Hey, remember when metal bands just made music based on, umm, music? Was there an Operation Mindcrime or Songs from the Elder book that I somehow missed? Anyway, The Heroin Diaries is actually a pretty solid album (and the book was fucking amazing), and I am looking forward to seeing SIXX: A.M., along with the Crüe, Buckcherry, et al., when they are in town next week with Crüe Fest. As far as the video for “Tomorrow” goes, it’s pretty much your standard “Hey, we’re on stage rocking your shit! Hey, and now we’re hanging out backstage and having fun!” type of thing. Oh, and if you can correctly identify how many tattoos the band collectively has, there might just be a prize in it for you. Can you say, “MetalSucks condom?”

-MSR

Southern hard rock / metallers The Showdown have a new record out August 19th called Backbreaker, and it’s heavier than anything they’ve done so far — not that their prior material wasn’t heavy or was bad by any means (in fact, Temptation Come My Way ranked among my favorite albums of ‘07), but the new stuff just hammers. It’s punishingly heavy, but artfully so; other than singer David Bunton’s pectoral-highlighting wardrobe choice, this isn’t a band that seems to feel the need to remind you of its masculinity at every turn. This is just really fucking good heavy music — this time around the band is channeling more Slayer and Metallica than Ratt and Motley Crue, but the results are no less catchy nor do they come across as trend-following. The Showdown have the songwriting maturity of a much, much older band.

Listen to the three new songs on their MySpace page.

-VN

As the southern shores of the Texas coast were being relentlessly hammered by Hurricane Dolly, a storm of a different sort slammed its way into the Alamo City last Wednesday. Maybe those long traffic lines heading out of Padre Island earlier in the week were actually Crue fans making their way to San Antonio to catch the first annual Cruefest featuring Trapt, Sixx AM, Papa Roach, Buckcherry, and that notorious whirlwind of destruction known as Motley Crue.

It would be the first time for this Old Fart to witness the Crue since their glory days of corpsepaint and titties known as the Shout at the Devil tour way back in 1983. (See Dorks Love Metal! for more hilarity.) I had fallen out of man-love with the band right around the Dr. Feelgood-era so I was not really sure if I would enjoy myself or not. I am happy to report: CRUE FUCKIN’ ROCKS!!

Click to read more…

What is the dorkiest thing you have ever done to show your love of metal?

I’ve had a few supreme dork moments of metal in my 42 years of geekdom. I once made myself up as King Diamond for the big Halloween street bash on Sixth Street in Austin, Texas, way back in 1985. Out of more than 100,000 revelers, a whopping 13 people knew who the hell I was dressed up as.

My dorkiest moment, however, took place way back in 1984, when I was seventeen years old.

Click to read more…

I was a big fan of The Showdown’s late-2006 release Temptation Come My Way, a southern-infused steamroller of an ’80s metal-influenced hard rock record. Judging by the band’s new song “Achilles The Backbreaker” — from their new record Back Breaker, to be released August 19th on Solid State — the band hasn’t dropped their ’80s influence at all, but has moved on from Ratt and Crue-infused riffage to Metallica and Exodus pummeling. No kidding. But this isn’t close to yet another entry in the current re-Thrash trend. Heavier riffs, double-bass pummeling, more screaming vocals. It still sounds distinctly modern and distinctly Showdown. It’s the same band (minus one member), just heavier… Which is a fucking awesome thing if you ask me.

Listen to the new track on The Showdown’s MySpace page. I am officially excited about this record.

-VN

Metal Blade has signed infamous Massholes, Overcast. Overcast are of some interest because their singer, Brian Fair, went on to front a little band you may have heard of called Shadows Fall, while their bassist, Mike D’Antonio, eventually joined some group called Killswitch Engage (the band’s other members, presumably, went on to get day jobs). That makes Overcast one of those bands that is kind of a retroactive supergroup, like the line-up of Megadeth that had Kerry King for all of ten seconds, or one of those glam bands like London or Hollywood Rose, whose various members went on to form Motley Crue, GN’R, and L.A. Guns.

Click to read more…