MetalSucks

I found the following quote from a recent interview with Gene Simmons to be (inadvertently) hilarious:

“This is electric church, and no one on that stage — me or anyone else — wears the makeup and platform heels by some kind of birthright. This ain’t Europe; just ’cause your dad was king doesn’t make you the king. You’ve got to earn it. And when you defile KISS, you should be thrown out.”

Gene is referring to dudes like Ace Frehley, Peter Criss and Vinnie Vincent, of course. But I have to wonder what he thinks they did that was worse than this:

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The dudes at Metal Insider (via tipster/friend of MetalSucks Stabitha C) have come across what might the find of the year: this video of featuring the single “An Angel is Missing” by Ronnie and the Red Caps… “Ronnie” in this case being Ronnie James Dio (or just “Ronnie Dio,” as he’s called here), who not only sings, but plays the bass and trumpet as well. The single was recording in 1959, a good ten years before the formation of Elf (which also featured Ronnie and the Red Caps guitarist Nick Pantas!) and a decade and a half prior to the first Rainbow album.

I don’t think it’s any secret that Dio had a non-metal musical career earlier in his life, but I’ve never actually heard any of the music he made during that period before. Plus, check out that photo of the young Mr. Dio! WEIRD!!!

-AR

I made a joke earlier this week about Zakk Wylde taking the news of Ozzy’s new guitarist so hard that he wound up in the hospital for blood clots – but this has turned into some apparently serious shit. Not only has Wylde and Black Label Society been forced to drop off the Pedal to the Metal tour with Mudvayne, Suicide Silence, and some band where the dude has a stupid hair cut and is married to an ex-porn star, but he has to visit the hospital every 48 hours. A statement from Zakk (by way of the always helpful Blabbermouth):

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I’ve been meaning to mention this for a week. But I can already tell it’s gonna be a slow news day, so now seems like a good time to bring it up.

The lovely ladies at Reign in Blonde discovered that McSweeney’s has has a list of Heavy Metal Board Games. They have also added a few suggestions of their own. Here are a few that tickled me:

• Whitesnakes and Ladders
• Motley Clue
• Twister Sister
• Black Scrabbleth
• Crytopoly
• Dio’s and Dragons

Check out the rest of the list here. And, of course, I’m dying to see if y’all can come with s’more.

And if you really are bored, don’t forget that actually is a Heavy Metal Fun Time Activity Book.

-AR

UPDATE: Our friend Dan Rodriguez over at Metal Insider has a much more detailed explanation. Check it out!

…but with every move the old fucker makes, it’s as though he’s begging me to.

So.

According to local newspaper tabloid the New York Post, Ozzy is now suing Tony Iommi over the Black Sabbath band name:

The “Godfather of Heavy Metal” claims guitarist Tony Iommi illegally claimed sole ownership of the band’s name, in a filing with the US Patent and Trademark Office.

Osbourne is suing Iommi for a 50 percent interest in the “Black Sabbath” trademark, along with a portion of Iommi’s profits from use of the name.

The Manhattan federal court suit also charges that Osbourne’s “signature lead vocals” are largely responsible for the band’s “extraordinary success,” noting that its popularity plummeted during his absence from 1980 through 1996.

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There are probably more old farts making relevant music than I usually give credit for. For every Ozzy or Metallica, whose later years have been more or less a total fucking disaster (creatively if not financially), there’s a Testament or Napalm Death who are still making music worth listening to after two or even three decades in the biz.

Of course, few of those artists have been at as long as the members of Black Sabbath – now re-christened Heaven & Hell – and even most of the Sabbath peers who can still pull it out live (Priest, Maiden) aren’t really releasing albums that are worth a damn these days. So the fact that The Devil You Know is so freakin’ sweet makes it feel like something of a marvel.

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The Devil You Know, the new Dio-Sabbath record, is every bit as rockin’ as I’d hoped it will be. I’m working on a review before its release a week from today, but if you’re anxious to hear it – and you really, really should be – it’s currently streaming on The Leak, which, for better or worse, is a VH1 sub-site.

GO LISTEN TO THIS ALBUM. IT IS AWESOME AND PUTS ALL OTHER VETERAN BANDS TO SHAME.

-AR

We’re just a few weeks away from the release of the 21st century’s first Sabbath album, The Devil You Know, which, kind of miraculously, will actually feature a line-up people give two shits about. Seriously, if you’d told me ten years ago there’d be a new Sabbath album in 2009, I would have shrugged and wondered who Iommi recruited this go-round. But, no, it’s Dio-Sabbath, it’s really coming out, and it’s going to be kick-ass.

So. 2 things:

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Look: I don’t want to play into any kind of imaginary, percevied rivalry between Ozzy Osbourne and Dio-Sabbath Heaven and Hell. They are two separate entities. There’s no reason one has to be “better” than the other. Who cares, right? I mean, all parties involved are getting older and closer to death, which means that people will kinda naturally start to talk about their legacies, but so what if Ozzy’s next big project is some terrible sub-This is Howie Do It variety show on Fox while Black Sabbath are making what I’m 99.9% sure is going to be an album so rocking you’ll have no choice but to rape the neighbors’ cat? I mean, it’s totally irrelevant to the conversation, right?

Anyway, here’s the album cover for H+H Music Factory’s The Devil You Know. Yes, that giant eyeless demon appears to be holding someone who was not only crucified but stuck with hundrerds of additional nails. Yes, somewhere Kerry King and Larry Carroll are pissed they didn’t think of it, first.

The Devil You Know will be released on April 28. A first single, “Bible Black,” should be coming soon.

-AR

The short version: this is an excellent mash-up someone made of Ozzy and Dio singing “War Pigs” as a duet. There’s not much I can say about it, other than as the rare person who holds Ozzy-era Sabbath and Dio-era Sabbath in equal regard, I find it lotsa fun.

Thanks to MetalSucks Maniac Adam Meyers for sending us the link!

-AR

I know I’ve spoken out in the past – fuck, yesterday, even – against bands that have recently reunited recording new albums. But in the case of Heaven & Hell - né “Black Sabbath with Ronnie James Dio and without fear of being sued by Sharon Osbourne” – I think it’s safe to be optimistic.

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Apparently there’s a new Strapping Young Lad video floating around the Interwebs for the song “Almost Again,” from 2006’s The New Black. The video is intensely dark and morose with twisted imagery that could come only from a demented mind like Downward Spiral-era Trent Reznor… Or, naturally, Devin Towsend. The timing of the video seems odd given the band broke up last year and their greatest hits collection 1994-2006: Chaos Years came out several months ago already… But hey, we’ll take it.

With the death of SYL came the demise of Devin’s skullet, but at least Ronnie James Dio and Karl Simon of The Gates of Slumber still carry the torch.

-VN

[via Buzzgrinder]

Being a metal master isn’t easy; that skullet certainly doesn’t take care of itself. That’s why we decided to track down Ronnie James Dio* of Heaven and Hell to find out the secrets behind rocking metal’s most metal hair-do, the almighty skullet. Ronnie was kind enough to share his tips and tricks behind his luscious locks with other aspiring skulleteers for the benefit of metal and mankind.

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The biggest metal tour of 2008 rolled through San Antonio at the Verizon Wireless this past Sunday with Testament, Motorhead, Heaven and Hell, and Judas Priest in tow. It was Heavy Metal Parking Lot come to life, only with several more “special” parking spaces for the decidedly older crowd.

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In 2004, the Painkiller-era Judas Priest line-up reunited and blew Black Sabbath off the stage at Ozzfest, so I supposed it’s only fair that in 2008, Sabbath should return the favor on the Metal Masters tour.

Of course, swapping out Ozzy Osbourne for Ronnie James Dio didn’t hurt.

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