MetalSucks

…but apparently she’s going to be the new keyboardist in Winds of Plague, at least for their upcoming tour. A press release tells us that she used to be in Kittie and Day of Contempt, if that means anything to anyone.

Here’s what I’d like to know: do you think they ever even for a second considered getting a dude keyboard player? I’m not at all opposed to chicks in metal bands, but it’s not like Kristen Randall did backing vocals or whatever – literally any capable keyboard player should, theoretically, be able to fill Randall’s shoes. If a woman happens to be the best musician for the job, swell. But if you’re just swapping out one pretty face for another…

Get WOP tour dates here.

-AR

Yeah. That was pretty cool. (NSFW!)

In other news, a press release tells us that Randall has left Winds of Plague and is going to be on an episode of L.A. Ink. Whoop-de-do.

-VN

We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again: horror and metal go together like PB&J, like Jager and puking, like Kerry King and talkin’ smack. They are the most natural of pairings.

And so it is with great pleasure that we premiere this exclusive footage from The Thaw, the latest installment of Lionsgate’s Pictures’ “Ghost House Underground” series – a line of horror DVDs created in cooperation with writer/director Sam Raimi and producer Rob Tapert, the team behind the classic Evil Dead series and this summer’s Drag Me to Hell, which was easily one of the most fun movies of 2009.

The Thaw stars Val Kilmer stars as a renowned environmental advocate, Dr. David Kruipen. When Dr. Kruipen discovers the carcass of a woolly mammoth in a polar ice cap, he helms a team of four bright ecology students and leads them in a research mission at a remote Arctic station. When a pre-historic parasite shows up searching for a new warm-blooded host, the unsuspecting students are forced to choose between a quarantine that will result in their burial ground or a global epidemic.

The Thaw hits DVD on October 6. You can get more info on Ghost House Underground here. Bonus: the clip features music by Winds of Plague. (See, we told you metal and horror go together!) We hope you enjoy the footage…

Somebody call Frankie and Annette!

I don’t really go to the beach much these days (’cause the sun is so not metal, dude), but if I did, I’d definitely want this. Why? Because a) I’m a dork and b) hopefully it would scare some people.

No word yet on whether or not Cannibal Corpse are going to issue Tomb of the Mutilated-themed swim trunks. But while we’re waiting, here’s some photos of girls in Winds of Plague panties. ‘Cause, y’know, why not?

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Behemoth vs. Winds of Plague; Poland vs. America; Corpsepaint vs. wigger hats; ugly men vs. hot chick; real metal vs. deathcore; substance vs. gimmick. Who won????

The answer, as well as more of this past week’s metal Soundscan chart positions and sales figures, after the jump.

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I listened to The Infection over the weekend for the first time in a little while. Guess what? Still kills. I can’t wait to see some of this shit played live.

Here’s a not-so-great quality bootleg of the band playing the first cut off the album, “The Venom Inside.” As Vince says, “This song just makes me happy.” What a killer way to open the show. Sounds like the crowd is almost as loud as Mark Hunter.

Friendly reminder: Chimaira are on tour right now with Hatebreed, Dying Fetus, Toxic Holocaust and Winds of Plague. Then they head to Europe in September with Unearth, Throwdown, and our friends in Daath. You can get all the tour dates here.

-AR

I listened to the new Skeletonwitch album, Breathing the Fire, last night, and guess what? It pwns. THAT’S RIGHT, BALLS666. I’M GOING TO SAY “PWN” AS MUCH AS I FUCKING LIKE. YOU THINK THAT’S WORTH KILLING ME OVER?!? COME AND GET ME, COCKSUCKER.

Here’s some other shit that went down this week:

• As the headline says, Daath’s Eyal Levi is MVP for the week.
• We enjoyed an exclusive mp3 from Weekend Nachos.
• We spoke to a surprisingly upbeat Nergal from Behemoth.
• Holy shit, Sammy O’Hagar almost liked the new Winds of Plague album. Almost.
• R.I.P. Les Paul.

I’m going to see District 9 now. Have a good weekend, everyone.

-AR

In an episode of The Cosby Show, perhaps one of the least metal sitcoms the ‘80s produced, Bill Cosby’s Heathcliff Huxtable tells his learning disabled son, Theo, that he would rather see him bring home a “hard C” instead of an “easy A” after he struggled with a particular assignment. What this potentially says about black America in the Reagan era – results don’t matter, so long as you’re working hard toward them – is possibly troubling, but when applied to California blackened metalcore band Winds of Plague, it’s surprisingly complementary. Though pulling out all the stops all the time fails more often than it succeeds, the band manage to make their latest album, The Great Stone War, a really, really fun and interesting mess. Their hodgepodge of riffs and motifs doesn’t reach an iwrestledabearonce-level of drek, but also doesn’t display the cohesiveness and songwriting prowess of, well, a solid band. But in terms of the latter, in a genre as flogged beyond death and into bone dust as metalcore, mixing it up by any means necessary has more potential to yield results than keeping your cookie dough inside a Poison the Well-shaped cutter. Complain about Winds of Plague’s melodramatic breakdown-o-rama as much as you like: at least they’re trying something different. Or, at least, different enough to stand out for the time being.

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Now the nausea’s
In my guts
And I’m wrestling with doubt
The kind you get when your heroes
Sell you out
And as I watch the drawbridge come down
There’s mass extinction
On my mind
Human cruelty stains my thoughts jet black
I’ve got this feeling
Like things have gone too far and now we can’t get back

Here’s more fun shit that happened in the world of metal this week:

• We debuted new videos from Cradle of Filth and Arsonists Get All the Girls.
• We got exclusive tour blogs from Bison B.C.’s Dan And and Woe of Tyrants’ Chris Catanzaro.
• We spoke to members of Winds of Plague, Decrepit Birth and Born of Osiris.
• I counted down 50 things I love about Pig Destroyer, and then added a 51st.
• Ulrich Vs. Mustaine Vs. Ian and Zakk Vs. Ozzy made us laugh with glee.
• Kerry King Vs. Killswitch Engage was pretty funny, too.
• Dallas Coyle answered more of your questions.

Vince gets back from vacation tonight right around the time Repulsion take the stage, and then tomorrow, hopefully, Craig’s List will lead us to some Tool tickets. See ya Monday!

-AR

Winds of Plague = really good people. Not only did they know their shit, they also had a sense of humor that wasn’t consistent with that of an inbred southern hick. Vocalist Johnny Plague can bench-press 5,000 lbs a day and keyboardist Kristen Randall may or may not be into making out with chicks – maybe I read too far into some things she said, or maybe I just automatically assume everyone is gay until proven straight, or maybe I just was hoping to make-out with Kristin because, let me tell you, she is pretty smokin’ in person. As a matter of fact, there isn’t one unattractive person in the band. That has nothing to do with their music, and everything to do with being horny. All the time.

ANYWAYS, Johnny’s idea (which may or may not have been plagiarized) for The Great Stone War is pretty nifty. Yeah, it’s yet ANOTHER concept album. But from what I have heard thus far, it’s a solid fucking record. If you weren’t a fan of Decimate The Weak, do yourself a favor and check out The Great Stone War.  If for some reason you’re not into it, at least you have a bunch of sweet artwork from the album sleeve to peep at from time to time.

For the most part, these guys (and gal) are going to be pretty busy the rest of 2009. Rumor has it they will be touring with Unearth in November, so make sure to keep an eye out for an official press release. Below is my slightly awkward interview.

P.S. – Enough with the WOP basketball jerseys. Please. That shit needs to stop. Seriously, this is just silly already.

Click to read more…

I’m not in the mood for fine prose right now, so let’s just do this thing.

Metal Nick at Metal Injection captured the below footage of Necrophagist playing a new song, “Dawn and Demise,” on the recently completed, MetalSucks co-sponsored Summer Slaughter tour. Because it was captured with one camera, no soundboard, etc., it’s not exactly up to the usual high standards of Metal Injection, but it should keep all the Necrophreaks satisfied for the time being.

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Ahh, Michigan. We have lakes. Big fucking lakes. We used to have a booming car industry, but unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past six months, you need not an explanation of why I won’t be speaking of that in this article. Besides, we harbor a little music festival every summer called Dirt Fest, a metal get together a few hours outside of Detroit, founded by two dudes looking to showcase their own band. Dirt Fest quickly became the summer festival for local bands looking for recognition and inspiration. It wound up becoming comparable to the one hot chick at the party which turned out to be a sausage fest – she ends up having such a good time that she lets everyone have a turn.

Anyhoo, thirteen lucky summers later and Dirt Fest is rocking a roster that has, in the past, included bands like The Dillinger Escape Plan and The Black Dahlia Murder. Obviously something is working if these bands are rolling through, so I decided to finally go check it out this year. Armed with nothing but a delicious bottle of Jagermeister and a set of tits everyone at the MetalSucks Mansion is dying to get a look at, I embarked on what turned out to be a very interesting day. My mouth already tasted like booze before noon…

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More new music for your Monday. Hoo-ray!

• Vader have a new song, “We are the Horde,” streaming here. The track comes off the band’s forthcoming, uniquely titled Necropolis, which comes out September 22. At this point, Vader is barely the band that made Kingdom, but, hey, it still sounds nice n’ brutal.
• Winds of Plague are streaming a new song, “Soldiers of Doomsday,” here. It comes off their new album, The Great Stone War, which comes out August 11 on Century. And here’s the thing about the record: yes, Johnny Plague dresses like a mo’ron, and yes, Kristen Randall really could have handled that whole boobie incident better. But the band can clearly play, and seem to be moving in a more Sumeriancore direction. I’m not sure that this album is the greatest thing ever, but it is wwwwaaaayyyyy better than I assumed it would be. So at least give the song a listen before you start bitching. ‘Cause I’m legitimately curious to hear what peeps think of it.

-AR

Darkest Hour are currently out on the road doing the MetalSucks co-sponsored Summer Slaughter tour, and they’re doing a video tour diary for our gay lovers at Metal Injection. Check it out below.

It’s good to see that Lonestar is growing his mega-beard back. It’s also good to see his package.

ANYWAY, I’ve seen enough of the touring lifestyle to know that I don’t ever want to go on tour. But then again, it looks like these dudes are having so much fun…

Look for more Darkest Hour tour diaries at Metal Injection throughout the rest of the summer. And you can Summer Slaughter tour dates here. In addition to Darkest Hour you get Suffocation, Necrophagist, Ensiferum, Dying Fetus, Origin, Born of Osiris, Winds of Plague, and a bunch of other cool bands, so definitely check it out!!!

-AR

Some miscellaneous news regarding metal’s most divisive sub-genre…

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Everyone from Vince’s former home state of Michigan: MetalSucks is proud to now be co-sponsoring Dirt Fest 13, which will take place Saturday, July 11 at the Birch Run Expo Center in Birch Run, MI. The show will feature Necrophagist, Darkest Hour, Winds of Plague, Born of Osiris, Origin, and a whole bunch of awesome bands – PLUS 30 – 40 local bands, at least some of whom are bound to be finds. In other words: it promises to be a pretty kick-ass day.

And to sweeten the deal, the fest is teaming with Sick Drummer magazine for a “Sickest Dirt Fest Drummer” contest. Press release after the jump!

Click to read more…

Got this email from MetalSucks Maniac Andrew Doty over the weekend:

I was reading through the MS archives earlier today, as I completely lack a real
life, and was browsing through the “Fuck you, too,” blog series. So, I came upon the
response to Kristen Randall naked picture thing, wherein something about a naked
picture of Lars Ulrich was mentioned, as though it did not exist. So, I thought I
would alert you that it totally does.

I found it when I was looking for Lars being a dick, to illustrate the point that
Lars Ulrich is a dick. Google wasn’t about to take that shit lying down, however,
and let me search for the word “dick” without giving me porn as a result.

Well, fair is fair, and I did say if there was a photo of Lars Ulrich naked, we’d post it, so… after the jump, Lars’ penis. Needless to say, this is NSFW.

Click to read more…

So the line-up for Summer Slaughter – a.k.a. the big summer package tour that isn’t Ozzfest, Mayhem, Warped, or Sounds of the Underground (R.I.P.) – has been announced, and, pretty much as expected, it’s totally solid. Yes, there are a few bands on the bill I don’t care for (I’m looking at you, Winds of Plague), but the presence of co-headliners Suffocation and Necrophagist, plus Darkest Hour, Origin, Born of Osiris, Dying Fetus and Blackguard pretty much guarantees this will be a day (well, late afternoon at least) worth your time and money. Especially since, unlike the aforementioned summer fests, this one plays smaller venues and comes at a cheaper price.

Also kind of advantageous: you’re basically just dealing with death metal on this tour. So… you pretty much know if you’re the audience or not for this tour.

No dates yet… stay tuned for more details.

-AR

I suppose it’s entirely possible that Winds of Plague – or, more specifically, Winds of Plague’s handlers – cleared the rights to use clips from Zack Snyder’s film adaptation of Frank Miller’s comic book graphic novel 300 for their new video, “Anthems of the Apocalypse.” But I somehow doubt it; I can’t see Warner Bros. giving up the rights that cheaply, and I don’t see WOP having it in their budget to fork over the Benjamins. Maybe they paid the dubba-dubba-WB with naked photos of keyboardsit Kristen Randall?

In any case, I have no fucking idea what the thematic significance is of 300 to the song anyway. In a press release, lead singer Johnny (the release doesn’t say what the dude’s last name is and I am far too lazy to Wikipedia that bitch right now) attempts to explain:

“This video pretty much is the perfect representation of WINDS OF PLAGUE: an energetic live show meets the brutal killing fields of oversized monsters, demonic samurai warriors and buff killing machines.”

Translation: “It looked cool.”

-AR

Apropos of nothing, we just wanna say: PLEASE DON’T SEE SAW V THIS WEEKEND. It’s time for that stupid fucking franchise to die already. If you’re in the mood for a horror movie because Halloween is coming up, there’s better fucking things you can rent. For fuck’s sake, just watch John Carpenter’s original Halloween again. Just don’t send the message that we want more of these inane fucking movies.

ANYWAY, here’s some shit that happened in the world of metal this week.

• Guns N’ Roses finally sent a single to radio and confirmed the release of Chinese Democracy. Enough of you cared enough to tell us you don’t care.
• We interviewed Opeth and 3. Progginess ensued.
• God Forbid’s new album got a title!
• Winds of Plague’s Kristen Randall thinks she’s Gloria Steinem. Thinking logical human beings everywhere strongly disagree.

Join us next week, same bat time, same bat channel!