Reunion Mania


  • Axl Rosenberg

Sometimes we don’t want to face the truth about a certain situation. But sooner or later, you always have to be honest with yourself, or face a big ol’ ass whoopin’.

The reunited-but-not-really Fear Factory, which features original members Dino Cazares and Burton C. Bell but NOT Christian Olde Wolbers or Raymond Herrera, has apparently had to cancel not only what was to be their debut performance in Spain last night, but an entire German tour due to the ongoing legal battle over the band’s name.

Really, you have to wonder how the fuck it got this far that the group booked an entire tour without anyone checking if they had the legal rights to the name. Here’s my best guess about how the conversation between Dino Cazares and Burton C. Bell must’ve went:

BURTON: What should we call the new band?

DINO: How about Fear Factory? That’ll sell tickets.

BURTON: But what about Christian and Raymond? They’re not in the band anymore, and my royalty statements tell me they have a legal stake in this.

DINO: Ahh, they’ll never notice! C’mon, dude, let’s just call it Fear Factory.

BURTON: Well, Dino, I gotta say, I had my doubts, but your compelling argument has fully persuaded me. Fear Factory it is.

DINO: Great! Let’s take a photo to celebrate this monumental moment.

They take the above snap shot.

DINO: Awesome. I’m gonna go eat a baby.

Annnnnnnnnddddd, scene.

Holy shit, this is going to provide entertainment for the rest of the summer at least. I can just feel it.


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