“AT LEAST THEY CAN F*CK”

Bram Teitelman at Metal Insider reports that fans at Germany’s Wacken Open Air, one of metal’s biggest and best festivals, have been warned about ways to avoid a possible swine-flu outbreak:

Citing “circumstances of limited hygeine,” the statement urges festival attendees to “resist close greeting rituals,” including hugging, handshakes and kisses on the cheek. They also asked not to let beverages “circulate.” Also, medical rescue personell have stockpiled antiviral medical inventory and isolation rooms to help prevent the spread of swine flu, also known as the A/H1NI virus.

Well, I’m not at Wacken (obviously), but as a misanthropic, maladjusted, socially awkward blogger, I tend to try and avoid “close greeting rituals” anyway. That being said, someone might want to point out to festival organizers that 75,000 people all packed closely together and in some cases deliberately slamming into one another will pretty much render any kissing/hugging/sharing of drinks moot. If someone in the crowd really does have swine flu, expect it to spread faster than Tawny Kitaen’s legs backstage at a hair metal show.

-AR

Thanks to this tweet from morrizz for the headline!!!