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HORSE THE BLOG (PART 4): LORD GOLD SAW YA TILT

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[Horse the Band are currently on tour supporting their new album Desperate Living. Keyboardist Lord Gold (his mommy calls him Erik) is recording their current road trek for posterity in this here MetalSucks blog. Entry 4 follows (read Entry 1, Entry 2 {complete with wild coke party w/ IWABO} and Entry 3). -Ed.]

Two women walked beleagueredly into Denny’s Restaurant after a night of drinking after work, planned one week in advance. They were wearing luxurious, flowing black clothing and black high heels. The high heels were warping severely. Upon closer examination the straps were ripping and frayed. The women’s heel skin was split red and white, crackling over the edge of the platform.

A woman began the process of sitting down. She lowered herself gracefully with one arm leaning heavily against the bowing table and one arm on the back of the booth seat. Her sinews tightened under her supple skin, her bag hanging on her forearm fell to her wrist. She lowered herself about one third of the distance, then completed her entry by letting her body freefall into the booth. The vinyl-covered padding ballooned ever so slightly and then gave way, enveloping her with a muffled whoosh. The whole row of booths tremored slightly. It was a perfect landing.

The woman took on a facial expression and posture that seemed to say “what” and organized her things. Her bra strap was transparent plastic so that you could not see it and also heavy-duty. It was cutting into her skin just to the side of her flowing garment. She began to make noises while looking at her companion. They were communicating their emotions and beliefs in English and using a great deal of profanity. They agreed with each other and confirmed each other’s ideas and points of view in every case. It was confirmed that Mia was a “bitch”. The first woman was so mad that she said “I am so mad” 14 times. After some time the first woman remembered that some years earlier she had given birth to a child, and discussed him.

Now the conversation had subsided. The first woman had begun a repetitive behavior in which she would place a “Moons over Mi-ham-i” sandwich into her mouth and then bite it. A piece came off and she smashed it up in her mouth and let it fall into her. During this time she was also shifting her weight slightly, unnoticeably, across the Denny’s bench, letting soft, indeterminate farts whisper out of her anus. She was thinking about Mia.

Both women were looking at the table. It was gray.

-LG

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