YOU CAN DO IT. STEVEN TYLER CAN HELP.
In case there’s any doubt that he’s a frickin’ loon, let’s review how Steven Tyler has spent the past week, shall we?
- He left rehab and went straight to a bar.
- He randomly grabbed a microphone at a Home Depot in Rancho Mirage, CA and sang pieces of “Dude Looks Like a Lady” and “I Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing” over the store’s PA system.
Now, it’s possible that Tyler is trying to launch his solo career and that he just has the worst booking agent, like, ever. More likely is that he’s so hopped up on whatever that he thought he was on-stage at Madison Square Garden and was more concerned about remembering the second verse of “Lady” than he was the fact that he was giving an impromptu performance in the middle of a hardware store.
Of course, part of me wonders what the fuck Tyler was even doing at Home Depot in the first place. Doesn’t he have people for shit like that? You’re telling me that Tyler honestly not only recognized that he needed some spackle for that hole he kicked in his wall, but was going to purchase and utilize the spackle himself? A guy who’s obsessed with scarves doesn’t exactly strike me as Mr. Fix-It, but fuck do I know? Maybe Tyler just really, really loves Home Depot, the way Dave Mustaine and Kerry King’s favorite restaurant is T.G.I.Friday’s.
Whatever the case may be, Aerosmith is apparently auditioning new singers. Meanwhile, expect Tyler to kick off his North American tour of Ikeas later this year.