Scraping Genius Off The Wheel

MY OFFICIAL NEW ENGLAND METAL & HARDCORE FESTIVAL REPORT–IN TWEETS!

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Originally, I had planned on livetweeting this year’s New England Metal and Hardcore Festival for the purposes of turning my pithy comments into some sort of proper show report. Looking back on some of those 140-characters-or-less entries, I realized that there was really no need to do so. Instead, below you’ll find a selection of my most poignant tweets from the two day weekender. Enjoy!

DAY ONE
So nice of @metalsucks to have this limo waiting for me at Union Station. My driver Tito has already taken a shine to me. #nemhf 12:42 PM Apr 23rd

My limo driver Tito and I stopped at Uno’s for a quick bite. I wonder if Rose Funeral refuse to eat here on principle. #nemhf 12:52 PM Apr 23rd

Arrived at #nemhf at last! Just in time for Thick As Blood feat Andrew Oceanoooooo! 2:38 PM Apr 23rd

Not sure which hardcore band is on the 2nd stage right now, but pretty sure singer called someone in the audience a racist. #nemhf 3:22 PM Apr 23rd

Ok hardcore band was C.O.A. Only caught the end of the set, but singer aced the “hxc frontman pointing at brain while shouting” pose #nemhf 3:25 PM Apr 23rd

Some of these kids in the pit are too young to grow facial hair. Adorable! #nemhf 3:42 PM Apr 23rd

Tom Sizemore just joined Death Before Dishonor on stage. #nemhf 4:26 PM Apr 23rd

Tom Sizemore sings for Death Threat ? #nemhf 4:58 PM Apr 23rd

This guy in the pit keeps giving everyone the finger. He’s not going make many friends that way! #nemhf 5:43 PM Apr 23rd

Taking off my spectacles before Cro Mags go on. Because I’m bound to get punched in the face. #nemhf 6:25 PM Apr 23rd

Why is tallest dude in New England blocking my Cro Mags view? Doesn’t he know I’m a metal blogger? #nemhf 6:46 PM Apr 23rd

I can smell Valient Thorr from all the way over here. #nemhf 7:18 PM Apr 23rd

Valient Thorr: proving once again that the semi functional retarded can front a metal band. “You know what I’m talkin’ about?!” #nemhf 7:27 PM Apr 23rd

Baroness? More like Boringness, amirite? #nemhf 7:51 PM Apr 23rd

Just met ex-Oceano geetarist Andrew M. tonight. Shook his hand & everything. The culmination of a dream. #nemhf 8:47 PM Apr 23rd

More like Between The BORING And Me, amirite? #nemhf 8:52 PM Apr 23rd

Do I really need to see Mastodon play the same Crack The Skye set they’ve been playing for the past year? Nope. #nemhf 9:46 PM Apr 23rd

DAY TWO
Awww did I miss the pirate metal band? #nemhf 12:49 PM Apr 24th

Seriously questioning whether anyone other than me knows what soap is. #nemhf 12:50 PM Apr 24th

Alright Rose Funeral, let’s see if you live up to my low expectations. #nemhf 12:57 PM Apr 24th

Rose Funeral frontman declares, “New England, I want to see you put someone in the hospital!” #nemhf 12:58 PM Apr 24th

“this next song is about fucking a bitch in her grave!” -Rose Funeral #nemhf 1:08 PM Apr 24th

Someone halfheartedly tried starting an Uno chant. You’ve gotta COMMIT to these things, people! #nemhf 1:17 PM Apr 24th

For a band with 17 guitar players, Periphery deserves better treatment from the mixing board. This sounds like butt. #nemhf 1:46 PM Apr 24th

I can hear Chelsea Grin’s pig squeals from out in the parking lot. #nemhf 2:31 PM Apr 24th

Gaza was good, but boy what a bumout! Now watching ABACABB do whatever the hell it is they do. #nemhf 2:59 PM Apr 24th

TTEOTD demand a circle pit, then get one. If I wielded that kind of power, I’d demand a pizza. #nemhf 3:23 PM Apr 24th

Jumped into the pit for Reign Supreme. Fucking insane. Shouted my way through the pile-on to get on “Mother Superior.” Highlight. #nemhf 4:49 PM Apr 24th

Cruel Hand singer called us “sons of bitches.” You catch more flies with honey, mister! #nemhf 5:05 PM Apr 24th

Disembodied. Miss Jackson, if you’re nasty. #nemhf 5:40 PM Apr 24th

I guess all this shouting is The Red Chord. #nemhf 6:15 PM Apr 24th

Here in the photo pit, admiring the huddled headbanging masses, it’s all so very beautiful. Whitechapel finally make sense to me. #nemhf 8:07 PM Apr 24th

They should do a JFAC episode of Glee. #nemhf 9:08 PM Apr 24th

Oh, Cannibal Corpse! Will you ever find true love? #nemhf 12:01 AM Apr 25th

That’s what you get for waking up in Worcester. #nemhf 9:55 AM Apr 25th

-GS

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