APPARENTLY MIKE BORDIN DIDN’T WANT TO BE A MILLIONAIRE
Whenever I was home sick as a kid I’d entertain myself in two ways (this was before I discovered masturbation): 1) The Joy of Painting with the most metal of painters, Bob Ross, 2) USA re-runs of ’70s and ’80s game shows Family Feud, The $25,000 Pyramid, The Price is Right and Press Your Luck. Much later on when cable networks greatly expanded their channel roster and niche channels like The Gameshow Network were born I always loved watching re-runs of The Match Game and Hollywood Squares. There’s something about game shows that simultaneously seems really dated yet not dated at all; the style and manner of the hosts and contestants are all easily identifiable to a certain era, yet the way people react — namely like complete idiots — to being on national television with the chance to win a ton of money hasn’t changed at all. All these years later, those Richard Dawson-hosted Family Feud episodes, with all of Dawson’s drunken buffoonery and the contestants’ rampant excitement, still hold so much entertainment value.
Leave it up to Faith No More (then Ozzy) drummer Mike Bordin to completely shatter the stereotype of person-on-a-game-show freak outs. Dude was cool as a cucumber on Who Wants to be a Millionaire?, not playing into the faux-dramatic atmosphere at all by immediately following each answer with “final” in a calm, cock-sure way. Unfortunately his knowledge of U.S. history betrayed him, and I’m not sure his buddy (and then bandmate, pre-Metallica) Robert Trujillo in the audience could’ve helped him either.
I imagine some day kids who were born in the ’90s and the ’00s will look back on re-runs of Who Wants to be a Millionaire? and Deal or No Deal in the same fond light as I did the aforementioned shows. Hopefully at least a couple of ’em will be inspired to check out Faith No More when they come upon this gem. See also: the Mike Patton-loving character on All My Children.