Jumping Darkness Parade



Ever had something happen to you that was so out of the blue and unexpected, yet so fucking hilariously strange that you wished you could go back in time and let the younger you know it was going to happen just so the two of you could laugh about it? I just had one of those experiences, and I don’t quite know how to categorize this one. So I figured I would share it with you guys. I’ve already shared it with all my friends, but I feel like the community at large should know. And maybe you guys can help me form an opinion on this. So here goes:

Last night, around 3 a.m., I was Facebook lurking after a night on the town. To my surprise, an old middle school teacher hit me up. We’ve had no contact since I got out of that school. I haven’t gone to reunions. I’ve made no effort to keep up with anyone. That part of my life was effectively over the day I graduated. But I was happy to hear from him and we made some small talk. Eventually he said this to me: “Eyal – this has been a real treat!! Please look for me again and please drop me a message from time to time. I mean this sincerely – it was a pleasure to teach you – I loved the creativity of your mind and that you always were a self-made man! LOVE>”

Nice thing to say right? Nice to get a compliment like that from an old teacher considering what a horrible student I was. And then comes the left turn. Abruptly he changed the subject and told me there was a video he wanted me to check out. To “get my thoughts on it.” I said okay. Here’s what he sent me:

Okay… So what the fuck am I supposed to say to that? All I could think of was, “Marilyn Manson’s cover songs have always been better than his originals.” Then he told me he just stumbled across it and wanted to know my thoughts. I asked him if he found it on CNN.com and then he logged off.

I had to tell someone.

I saw that my brother, who also had this dude as a teacher, was online. I told him about this and he said, “Yeah that guy sent me a weird video out of the blue about a year ago and I never responded.” This was the video he sent my brother…

Okay. So…. This obviously brings up lots of questions. Was this guy jerking off under the table thinking about us kids during class? Has he lost his mind and think its normal to greet ex-students like this after fifteen years? Is he just an old timer that doesn’t understand the public nature of the internet, and was just scoping out to see if we were gay and would respond to his advances? Or does he just have an amazing sense of humor and not give a shit? I mean, DestinAsian is pretty fucking funny. I’ll be your drama queen tonight? That is some funny shit.

But only to sick motherfuckers like me. To normal people, this would probably come off as very weird and quite creepy. How should I feel about this? How would you feel about this?


Daath’s new, self-titled album comes out October 25 on Century Media. Pre-order it here, and then go visit Daath on MySpace.

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