SO DID BRET MICHAELS SHTUP MILEY CYRUS’ MOM OR WHAT?
Remember earlier this year, when Bret Michaels and Miley Cyrus re-recorded “Every Rose Has Its Thorn” as a duet, and then recorded a new duet with some incredibly sexual lyrics? At the time, I assumed that the 46 year old Michaels was tappin’ the 17 year old Cyrus, but as it turns out, he was probably doin’ her mom instead — at least, the rumor is that their affair is the cause of the pending divorce between Billy Ray Cyrus and Tish Cyrus.
And I don’t know why Tish Cyrus would wanna fuck Bret Michaels. I guess she always had a fantasy in which she slept with a clone of herself, only the clone wore more make-up, and had the facial hair of a barely-pubescent boy.
Of course, now Bret’s publicist has denied the affair, lest it sully his good name:
“It’s unfortunate that Billy Ray and Tish have to be further tainted by these lies being reported. The only relationship he’s had with Tish is professional because he worked with Miley on ‘Every Rose.’ She recut it, and obviously they did that together at GMA in the summer.”
Why Bret would deny this and not Tish is beyond me. Because, what, his reputation is at stake? Or are we supposed to take this denial more seriously because he’s not the one who’s getting divorced (and therefore has less to lose)? Is he just worried about alienating any Miley fans he may have acquired since the collaborations? Shouldn’t the true test of whether or not Tish slept with Bret be whether or not she’s developed any STDs since the two worked together?
Whatever. I hope it turns out he slept with Tish and Miley. Now THAT would make a great story.