Shit That Comes Out Today

Sh*t That Comes Out Today: June 11, 2013

  • David Lee Rothmund

svartsyn black testament

Holy shit Skittles. This might be the best week ever of this week — Today’s Shit That Comes Today includes huge front-cover bands and phenomenal acts that reside in the back pages. I recommend getting comfortable on your couch/chair/floor/toilet for a few hours to let these sweet, sweet tones dissolve your brain.


Necronomicon Rise Of The Elder OnesNecronomicon
Rise Of The Elders
(Season Of Mist)
On a playlist with: Hate Eternal, Immersed, Decapitated
Listen Rise Of The Elders full stream (here)

Rise Of The Elders starts off a bit “meh.” Bu given a flying chance, it’ll impress! There are snare-blasts and crunchy riff bits tied together by a nice, gritty production. I <3 the really pronounced mid-range, the wicked speed of everything, and goddamn there’s even synth here and there. I imagine Rise played at the gates of hell, or at least as elevator music during your descent into the bleak eternity where you can smoke, drink, and high-five Satan all day.


CReations unworthy/humilityCreations
Unworthy/Humility (Mediaskare)
On a playlist with: The Acacia Strain, ABACABB, Oceano
“None Of Me (Humility)” (here)

So you’ll notice right away that Unworthy/Humility is essentially the work of a parallel-universe The Acacia Strain. But religions are flipped in this dimension: Creations’ drop-Z tripletcore is for Jesus. Religious music can be good, as long as the lyrics are well-written and intricate, and not totally stupid. And I actually like the insanity of Unworthy/Humility — those dropping breakdownz are righteously heavy — it’s the grade-school proselytizing that blows the deal. If only the vocals could be blocked out (or rendered indecipherable), then Creations would have something great here.


ChurchofMisery-ThyKingdomScumChurch Of Misery
Thy Kingdom Scum 
(Metal Blade)
On a playlist with: Weedeater, Eyehategod, Acid King
Listen “Brother Bishop” (here)

Oh, those RATM-style pentatonic riffs and those sandpaper vocals: What a fuck-yes combination. Thy Kingdom Scum feels like the rock album you’ve always wanted to listen to — it’s hella more metal than rock, but with that slow swing and groove like Deftones and Stone Sour. But those two are not  comparable to a beastly whomping by Church Of Misery. Kingdom‘s classic solos and a live, organic production are like something you’d hear in a friend’s basement. (And goddamn what a basement experience that would be.) The 400,000 guitar solos on “Brother Bishop” alone would be enough to give everyone there, men and women, boners of the century.


Scale the Summit - The MigrationScale The Summit
The Migration (Prosthetic)
On a playlist with: Jeff Loomis, Animals As Leaders, Intronaut
Listen “Odyssey” (here) “Oracle” (here) “Atlas Novus” (here)

The best instrumental metal doesn’t devolve into Yngwie Malmsteen-style wankery. Like, I can go as far as Jeff Loomis, but no further. Music should make love, not jerk off onto pictures of itself. It would be easy to do the latter for a band with two wicked-epic guitarists. Like Scale The Summit. But they keep it in check so damn well! They devote their talent to actual, coherent music. So The Migration actually saves me the mental work of having to decode it. It kind of unfurls a collage of intricacy, interlude, and progression: It’s all frills with no frills, really. And some of its soft moments are so well-constructed and lovely that I wish for a chill-mix of the entire jam.


Children of Bodom - Halo of BloodChildren Of Bodom
Halo Of Blood
(Nuclear Blast)
On a playlist with: Norther, Kalmah, Sinergy
Listen “Your Days Are Numbered” (here) “Transference” (here) “Halo Of Blood” (here)

The last two Children Of Bodom records, Blooddrunk and Relentless, sucked a huge bellend. It sounded like each was written over a two-day coke binge, unlike the elemental, considered Hatebreeder and Follow The Reaper, which remain two of melodic metal’s best entries. COB has the talent and the know-how. It was the effort that was missing — maybe their past few years were spent getting tattoos and partying in Finland. But finally another respectable album Alexi Laiho and crew — a really good one, even! Halo Of Blood is the offspring of Reaper and Hatecrew: thorough and slick as a presidential speech, and fluid, melodic, wild, and even black-metal influenced!


The Black Dahlia Murder - EverblackThe Black Dahlia Murder
Everblack (Metal Blade)
On a playlist with: The Faceless, All Shall Perish, hardcore porn
Listen “Into The Everblack” (here) “Goat Of Departure” (here) “Raped In Hatred By Vines Of Thorn” (here)
Read Axl Rosenberg MetalSucks review (here)

Everblack is fucking extraordinary. What TBDM has done is reinvent themselves without forgetting who they were: Straight-up, no compromise, and shockingly pure heavy music. Incapable of selling out. The modernity of Everblack rings clear in its production quality, song structure, and violence — it’s that slightest bit sharper, more real, more focused than Ritual, but doesn’t lose that pants-ruining tremolo rhythm of “Malenchanments Of The Necrosphere” from that album. Gentle guitar interludes offset wicked riffage, which means no unnecessary breakdowns or cheap-shot trinketry; Jesus-smashing snare blasts and impeccable vocal range means no tinny sounds or “oh shit my soda went flat” disappointments. You could sound-bite any 20-second moment of Everblack and instantly convert metal-haters. And if they’re still not having it, punch them in the gut.



Cardinals FollyAborym Dirty (Agonia) listen (disc one) listen (disc two)
Arrayan Path IV: Stigmata (Pitch Black) listen
Author & Punisher Women & Children (Seventh Rule) listen listen listen
Behexen Rituale Satanum reissue (Debemur Morti) listen
Black Sabbath 13 (Vertigo) listen
Boysetsfire While A Nation Sleeps (Bridge Nine) listen listen
» Cardinals Folly Strange Conflicts of the Past collection (Shadow Kingdom) listen
Celldweller Celldweller reissue (Celldweller Productions) listen
FIN Fated By Will And IronCivil War The Killer Angels (Despotz) listen listen listen listen
Colossus Time & Eternal (Facedown) listen
Dark Buddha Rising Dakhmandal (Svart) listen
Deafheaven Sunbather (Deathwish) listen listen
The Devil’s Blood III: Tabula Rasa or Death And The Seven Pillars (Metal Blade) listen
Drunk Dad Morbid Reality (Eolian Empire) listen
Evile Skull (Earache) listen listen
Famous Underground Famous Underground (Dust On The Tracks) listen
Lacrimas Profundere AntiadoreFejd Nagelfar (Napalm) listen
» Fin Fated By Will And Iron (Disorder) listen
Full Of Hell Rudiments Of Mutilation (A389) listen
» Haust No (Fysisk Format) listen listen
House Vs. Hurricane Crooked Teeth (Equal Vision) listen listen
Integrity Suicide Black Snake (Magic Bullet) listen
Into The Flood Vices (Century Media) listen
Johansson & Speckmann Sulphur Skies (Vic) listen
Power Trip - Manifest DecimationJorn Traveler (Frontiers) listen
» Lacrimas Profundere Antiadore (Napalm) listen
Magnus Karlsson Freefall (Frontiers) listen
Master Unknown Soldier reissue (Vic) listen
Mumakil Flies Will Starve (Relapse) listen listen listen
Noisem Agony Defined (A389) listen
» Power Trip Manifest Decimation (Southern Lord) listen listen
The Saddest Landscape Exit Wounded EP (Topshelf) listen
Haust NOScum From The Sun 4 (Avantgarde) listen listen
Seth The Howling Spirit (Season Of Mist) listen
Summoning Old Mornings Dawn (Napalm) listen
¤ Svartsyn Black Testament (Agonia) listen listen
Trail Of Tears Oscillation (Massacre) listen
Tristania Darkest White (Napalm) listen

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