Metal in the Media

Scorpions Know the Importance of Regular Bowel Movements


Scorpions Poop

I appreciate what the makers of this ad for Fiber One were trying to accomplish — they were trying to say how awesome it is that the company now makes cookies, because those cookies will “rock you like a hurricane” on account of their deliciousness.

Still, the commercial seems like a wasted opportunity. Imagine if this was the ad instead:

We open on a man sitting on the toilet, constipated. In the kitchen, his wife makes some Fiber One cookies. He emerges from the bathroom, and she looks at him at hopefully — but he just shakes his had, sadness in his eyes. Then she pats him on the shoulder reassuringly, as if to say, “There there, fret not, I have your solution.” She gives him a Fiber One cookie. His eyes light up — it’s delicious! Then his eyes light up AGAIN, with an even greater level of excitement this time — and he runs to the bathroom, drops trou, and BOOM! takes the most satisfying crap of his life… just as “Rock You Like a Hurricane” kicks in.

Now THAT commercial would sell a shit ton of Fiber One cookies. Pun intended.

[via Bring Back Glam!]

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