W.A.S.P.’s Blackie Lawless Does Not Understand How Hallucinogenics Work


It saddens me what a complete joke Blackie Lawless has become. There was a time when W.A.S.P. was the ultimate heavy metal band, as sleazy as the other Sunset Strip bands but as scary as Mercyful Fate. But now, Blackie is another ignorant chucklehead who just wants to write the same Christian rock song you hear on every Midwestern radio station. It’s not that he found Jesus that makes him a jerk, it’s the way he’s going about it.

Case in point, during a recent interview, Lawless said the following:

My faith centers on Jesus Christ and The Bible and nothing else. I don’t want to know about anybody’s opinion. If people want to talk about it, that’s okay. But don’t start interjecting what you think is your idea. If it cannot be substantiated by what’s written in The Bible, I don’t want to know about it.”

Wow. The dude isn’t even beating around the bush: he wants everyone to know that his mind is closed to outside thought.

But here’s the part that gets me:

“People say that with The Bible, you’re dealing with a book that was written by men. That may be true, but you’re also dealing with sixty-six books written by forty different authors spread over two thousand years over three different continents, and most of these guys did not know each other, yet you see them finishing each other’s sentences. It’s impossible that any men could have written this without divine inspiration.

“I had to answer this question for myself once and for all: Is it real? So I started digging deep in The Bible, and one day I realized: I’m reading the living word of the living God.”

BWAAAAHAHAHAHA! Dude, have you ever done mushrooms? The lengthy, insane shit you write on those things is mind-blowing, and the sense of shamanic importance they give off is very palpable. Hell, noted scholars have confirmed that Moses was tripping his balls off while receiving the Ten Commandments, and I’ve definitely heard tell that John the Revelator was hallucinating like a motherfucker while writing his book full of poisonous angels and seven-headed beasts.

Again, Blackie Lawless can believe in whatever he likes — it’s a free country, and if it makes him happy, who cares? — but his close-minded literalism is pretty hilarious. I know plenty of Christians who understand the many abstract ways in which the Bible can read and interpreted. Then again, those are also the Christians who are willing to discuss their faith like adults, and who don’t believe in the Boogeyman.

Anyway, if Blackie ever wants to communicate with his Lord and savior, I’ve got a box of magic markers here and a bunch of edibles in my freezer. I’d be happy to leave Jesus a message for him.


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