Walmart-Profiled Metal Band Torn The Fuck Apart are Selling a Brutal T-Shirt Commemorating the Event


Earlier this week the metalsphere learned the story of Kansas City death metal act Torn the Fuck Apart having the police called on them for the heinous crime of sitting in their van in a Walmart parking lot. If you were worried that one of the more bizarre stories of the week was over, then fear not! Torn The Fuck Apart have decided to sell merch commemorating the incident.

The shirt, seen below, features vocalist Michael’s Langner’s now famous shit-eating grin as he let the police fake his arrest for a photo op, with “Free Michael” on the front and “Guilty of being brutal” on the back. Sure, I might be friends with the band, but objectively speaking this is still one of the funniest band shirts I have seen in quite some time.

You can pre-order your very own metalhead profiling memorabilia on TTFA’s Bandcamp here for the very reasonable price of $20 ($25 for XXL and up). The pre-orders will run through August 28 so if you want one, better act fast before the Karens come for our hometown heroes again.

You can follow Torn The Fuck Apart here. Check out their most recent release, A Genetic Predisposition To Violence, on all major streaming platforms and listen to the single, “Invitation Homicide,” below.

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