Watch: Colbert Made a Slayer-Themed Salad Commercial


These days, every brand seems ready to slap a skull on something and sell it to metalheads — and every metal band is stoked to partner with them, because there are only so many tours you can do. Whether it’s Rob Zombie-branded coffee, Jamey Jasta’s Jasta Pasta, or just good ol’ Liquid Death trying to make a Miller Lite tallboy full of water seem edgy, metalheads have obviously been targeted as a customer base who’ll shell out forty bucks for anything with a screaming skull on it. But not even diehard headbangers would buy a band-licensed salad mix — which, according to a recent segment on Stephen Colbert’s Late Show, somehow puts us above Deadheads on the ladder of rock fan intelligence.

As reported by Loudwire, the Grateful Dead have partnered with Gotham Greens to create their own salad mix, named ‘Grateful Greens.’ Which is why Colbert came up with this commercial for Slayer Spring Mix, which it brags is “locally sourced — in Hell” and “the perfect salad to pair with a Nihilistic Vinaigrette.” The salad mix has only been washed twice (brutal), and brings together Murderlust Mesclun, Savage Cabbage, and Kale Satan in a delicious blend of blood-drenched roughage that’ll make you say, Thank God, now I can take a shit after all that queso.

It’s funny how Slayer, a band whose music is mostly focused on sex murder, Nazi war crimes, and the Devil Himself, is parodied in fake commercials. You had the John Clayton ESPN commercial, that ’90s commercial where the grandma brings a copy of Diabolus to a baby shower as a gift (can’t find that one anywhere, but if you have it on YouTube, holler at me) — there’s just something about them that feels more metal and entrenched than, say, a G’N’R or Anthrax.

Anyway, check out the Colbert ad below and ponder whether or not you’d actually shell out six bucks for this stuff.

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