There’s a Cliff Burton Craft Beer
These days, any band who’s anyone has a booze of their own. Some bands go wine, and a few go hard liquor like vodka or whiskey, but the most common band-themed Jupiter oil is undoubtedly craft beer, especially IPAs, which often taste like varnish and therefore make their drinkers imagine themselves as tough for wanting to consume them. Now, one of the biggest names in metal has officially gotten his own craft beer: deceased Metallica bassist Cliff Burton.
Yup, it appears that Cliff Burton’s estate, metal statuette vendors Knucklebonz, and Californian brewery Calicraft Brewing have created the Cliff Burton Cliff ‘Em All IPA. The beer has a 6.4% ABV, which drunks like me understand to mean that it packs a nice little sting, but will require two or three cans to really get the motor running.
According to Calicraft:
Cliff ’em All IPA is made in classic NorCal style: hoppy, bold, and crushable! Capturing the best of a classic West Coast beer, and made with simcoe and citra hops, this IPA pairs well with all forms of incredible music!
That’s a nice way of saying that after six of them, you won’t be scared of the police, and will later be quoted in court as saying you were “rattling cages and pissing off of stages down on Colfax.”
Say the Burton family:
“Continuing the mission of Cliff’s father, the late Ray Burton, the Cliff Burton Foundation is centered on fostering the next generation of musical talent. We handpick young individuals from around the world with the same enthusiasm for music and dedication to their craft as the late bassist Cliff Burton had. Cheers to Cliff and Ray Burton who loved a good beer.”
You can order a four pack of the beer via Craftshack, along with a collectible poster, for FORTY FUCKING DOLLARS?! Wait, wait, record scratch time out, you want us to spend ten bucks a beer on this brew?
Huh. Okay, well, if you’re a Metallica superfan, drop forty goddamn bones on a four pack of the Cliff beer. Or you can just buy four sixers of High Life and still have enough change left over for some jalopeño cheese curls. Your choice, Clyde.
Here are some photos of the beer: